if my understanding of how machines work is correct, filling the petrol tank makes a rubber duck float high enough to release a ball which knocks over dominos and so on. at some point the car starts

Me as a couples therapist: i watched Arrival last night and you two remind me of Amy Adams and the Aliens, it’s very hard for you to communicate but you’re trying hard to figure it out. Have you guys seen Arrival?

i was grinning down at my phone on the g train and the guy next to me went ‘is that your boyfriend’ and it was this image

TYPICAL OAF: I would like to watch "Beavis and Butt-Head." ME: I would like to watch "Genius and Smart-Head."

It’s poppy season, special shout out to this one with his tongue out 😛

What does Ricky Gervais think about the us right now, I will not look it up

😬

Julia garner, tiny face with big feelings

if I buy new clothes it makes me excited to go to work because my office is FULL of complimentary babes

I had to look up what is a groyper

Shocked to discover I am in vigorous agreement with Tony, I too think he should be more like Charlie Kirk in one very specific way

ohhhhhhhhhh i thought you said he was a victim of gum violence

Yeah I’m with RFK now, they’ve been poisoning Americans for too long!!

Watching Gilmore girls with the kids and now I wanna move to Braidwood

NFTs were a bubble, AI is a bubble, but small carvings of large hipped women have remained popular with unsettling lighthouse keepers for 200 years, invest with confidence

It’s 10 on a Wednesday, I’m staying home with sick kids tomorrow I’ve had a few wines and Andrew’s chucking on the devil’s advocate I’m ready for it all

We built composting bays today, I used the angle grinder for the first time and it was scary

Couldn’t wait to leave the pub to keep making these prawns socks for my dad

Decided a few days ago I was going to take up smoking just one cigarette a day but I still haven’t bought tobacco or anything, I swear I’m committed to this goal though

Just got spooked by an eastern rosella trying to get in the driver’s side window

Maybe Joe breached his fvo, just asking questions

I think powderfinger was a band that someone at triple j really liked and then people started to like their songs because they’d heard them before, like on the radio

Highly recommend the new banoffee pie from dobinson’s

Made it to flu/covid shot day without getting the flu or Covid

wanted to cry seeing this at vinnies today

If you see a guy driving around an old timey car and you look at it you’ve given him exactly what he wants. If I see an old timey car I look away.

Bought some seeds today Very much looking forward to growing some stuff again, it’s been a long time!

I went from going 6 months with no sickness to a cold every month, main symptom of the latest one is that I’m kinda real bitchy now

Movies are now books, books are a whole new level of smart

And some gorgeous flowers from @junksquadannual.bsky.social !!😭😭❤️❤️ We feel so loved and looked after 🥹

Absolute dream run to the office this morning, only hit one red light and ate an entire bagel on the way

beautiful friends 🥹

We’ve made the decision to say goodbye to our beautiful old Couscous today 💔

men just exist in a different reality, I bought a lamp on market place and the man was like ‘come in!’ So I did because it was cold and I didn’t want to be rude Then he was like ‘it’s upstairs! Follow me!’ Sir

We are very much enjoying some lovely newish cooking vids on youtube with @alexkcooks youtu.be/AKwgivRK3iE?...

Just sold Robert F. Kennedy Jr. an ounce of the gamy-smelling green pellets I feed my turtle for $1200. "Can you throw in some of the juice?" he asked. It took me a minute to realize that he meant some of the water from the tank. I filled a shot glass with it and he tipped me $100 in cash.

He wants to fetch it 😭

Reading sequel as seroquel and thinking to myself ‘that’s just quetiapine ☺️

this week has been wild, iPhone users sending me green texts and vice versa?!

Today I’m gonna bake sourdough discard cookies and bagels and watch sirens in between

It’s my Friday and I’m onto the second sleeve of my sweater and the fire is going and Andrew is about to play some tunes on twitch twitch.tv/boontavista

My beautiful friends @junksquadannual.bsky.social and emily are getting married today and I’m bloody over the moon about it 😭😭😭

Jesus Christ lord grantham’s ulcer just burst

This was such a delightful evening and today has been very difficult, thank you quince vodka

Brewery viewery

Is it tights weather in Brisbane or is that dumb

The big kid just reminded us of a limerick Andrew thought up about her on the spot There once was a girl from Camp Cooba She liked to blow hard on her tuba She let down her guard And blew way too hard And dookie shot out of her pooper

ive definitely said this before but i never anticipated the peace that my late 30s would bring, sure my skin was smoother in my twenties but my brain was full of dog crap

When I was a kid I just wanted to be clever enough one day to realise cool things like evian is naive spelled backwards

A loaf for a lovely friend who’s been having an unlovely time