Man I love playing Hades

Please don't call it that

They should make top golf where you just rip slap shots

I saw ‘full spectrum’ weed advertised at the dispo and I’m going to be fucked up on ‘what the fuck you mean this weed autistic’ bits for the next few days again

"the menswear guy isn't fair and balanced." do you even hear yourself? "fork lady is eroding public confidence." "ladder baby is undermining the credibility of the field." "lemon raccoon is acting without transparency or accountability." that's what you sound like.

i'm gonna say once again that if you put me in charge of the political party in charge of winning against this guy i would easily not lose to this guy

new scam going around where they hire you for a job but pay you less than the value your labor produced

pa: ill tell you boy. Playing as a girl in those computer games is how satan and antifa gets you son: oh no pa! What do I do? Do I burn it? pa: that thing cost money. better just look at her ass all the time son: but pa she's some kinda bug or somethin pa: bugs got asses, boy

The vast majority of people do not want any of this. Most of our lives are not animated by spite and revenge and a desire above all else to do harm. Most of us do not derive our sense of well-being from abusing our power over others. Most of us are normal. www.welcometohellworld.com/i-hear-the-g...

He’s our Mr. Bean

ChatGPT is probably the biggest honey pot of willingly-turned over highly confidential information that has ever been created in human history.

???? my hometown nextdoor is wild

@kamalaharris.com you were the vice president at the time

CHOTINER: So how do you explain your connection to GroyperDave? ME: GroyperDave followed me when I joined the groupchat in 2022 so I followed back. I've had him muted since. He retweeted his own jokes constantly. CHOTINER: But you're aware of his bad opinions? ME: I am aware of the bad opinions.

CHOTINER: So your son is 14, is that right? IKARI: It's complex, Isaac. If— CHOTINER: And the “robot” he pilots, that’s actually the child of an alien you keep crucified in the basement, which is possessed by the spirit of his dead mother? IKARI: Look, let me answer the question. CHOTINER: Sure.

Me: running iso gay as hell what you mean you’re meeting a man in the a gap named Mike My offensive line coach: just keep running until you puke

You can't cancel Gwar you'll only make Gwar more powerful do you know anything about Gwar

One thing I feel like is being missed is disappeared doesn’t always tend to mean we’re gonna find you again

Chotiner: You've written a lot about the band Weezer over the years. Me: That's right. Chotiner: And The Blue Album is their best work as you've said. Me: 100%. Always has been. Chotiner: In 1996 in a letter to your high school girlfriend you wrote... Me: Can we go off the record real quick?

BUCK: welcome to Monday Night Football going out across the fractured and shattered united states. we'd especially like to welcome our newest viewers from the greater Omaha Demilitarized Zone who are joining us courtesy of the warlord Lord Bones, the Water Prophet. AIKMAN: Tremendous warlord, Joe.

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - Word on the street is you went around the local hostel telling people that you're a police officer and that it would be *really* fucked up if you shot yourself in the head right in front of them. That's pretty high concept, if you ask me.

What the fuckass light through yonder window breaks bro

In Naperville, IL on Wednesday, ICE surrounded a group of documented workers replacing a residential roof. ICE agents reportedly kicked over the ladders and forced the workers to jump. The episode involved a chase with guns drawn.

Expecting people to watch a funeral for a political figure instead of football is genuinely unamerican

Can't possibly imagine watching a funeral on television instead of a big boy blocked field goal return TD

Fuck yeah we got TikTok millenarians

man why did my family have to take me to see the falcons play in 2001 why

Sean McVay is a Kidz Bop cover of Jon Gruden

I told the Reverend he made me proud to be a Christian.

once everybody stops being angry at me I wanna try and work on silencing that part of my brain that says everyone is always angry at me

please put it in the paper that Carson Wentz is a LGBTQ+ ally

Even I, a goal line fade hater, can admit that throwing it to Darnell Washington is objectively funny and good

This is truly insane. The definition of "disappearing people"

Mark Cuban made a reddit account and is spending his free time arguing with people about the Clippers situation, endlessly, on multiple apps. You broke him @pablo.show

if i saw homer simpson disappear backwards into a hedge in real life i would just start screaming

I went through the hour special and outside of the "I'm a Christian and family man" stuff here's all two minutes of him actually talking, and you can see why ABC didn't air this

Waking up from a 15-year magical coma after eating an ensorcelled croissant intended for the princess: ahh man, I needed that

Innocent guy in Boston about to get indicted: you know what we do to rats? FBI informant: what? Innocent guy in Boston about to get indicted: feed them to the gators

something something political violence

I think it’s because he never learned what the internet is

It’s pretty funny that Eminem became a guy who would be really excited to vote for Mayor Pete. It’s like he received the exact opposite energy Kanye got. He’s probably at home in a comfy chair reading a John le Carre novel right now.

Patrick Wyman type beat

Got a really good deal on bone broth made from animals that had to be destroyed because Chucky jumped into their bodies and made them bite kids. Sad to think about but ultimately very ethical consumption

Oh no not no DV convictions!! Add DUI and no one could stay in office.

the [redacted] must be a spiritual experience man

16yo "I used to not like giardiniera, but now I really grew into it. It's like Chicagoan puberty."

the republican line to open corruption in the government is “WE DON’T CARE” lmfao

just saw a tiktok from a disney adult reading from On Tyranny and asking their followers to cancel their d+ and disney trips omg

I really hope journalists are embedded in this football program because it’s already the funniest thing that’s ever happened and I know I am only aware of 5% of how funny it is

Tweeted this on the morning of the Niners-Eagles NFCCG.