I am doing a 100 faces challenge. No time limit. Just draw 100 portraits

There is a crazy window of ages where people can end up being too young or too old to make any sense to me. Like we age in and out of a demographic that my brain can compute before new/old slang makes them a separate culture

Sometimes i wish i was a theayre kid so i could ne better prepared for how overly dramatic the world is

You look good enough to eat* *take a bit from, realize they put in onions even though you said no onions, but I'm too self effacing to tell the server so i systematically remove the bits I dont loke and try to enjoy tue tainted meal anyway

A real executive decision is just one where you benefit exclusively and everyone else is worse off

Teach a parrot to sing and you'll entertain him for a day. Teach a parrot how to sing like Elvis Presley and you can call it Squawkabilly and you'll entertain yourself for slightly longer

My 3 yr old cat Jimothy is an iPad baby who I stupidly showed the catfishing game. He's obsessed with it and often tries to steal my phone. This mornin my phone was unlocked and he started slapping my phone, opened up an app, swiped on an ad to open the app store and downloaded roblox

I'm sorry but peak comedy to me will always be call it a pabgina

*reads the news* Egads, it's dumber than I feared!

I need to put "able to listen through and evaluate an idea or argument, recognize I am either not the intended audience or needed contributor, and can sit this one out" on my resume somehow

Ypur cat doesn't see your wrinkles, your extra weight or your mental illness. All they see is that quarter sized section of food bowl that doesn't have kibble on it

The lesser known Mendelorian was growing pea plants on the edges of space

The earth isnt just flat. It's actually one of two discs held together by a thick cream and is the newest flavor of Oreo cookie

I'm not saying he's a villain but he has the energy of a guy whose face got cut out of a lot of photos

The letter Y is so cunty for that " I'm a vowel when i feel like it" bullshit

The best thing i got out of being a christian kid was being too sheltered to hear nirvana until i smuggler a copy of Nevermind out of a friend's house at 14

I drew this horse. Thanks for letting me put it on the collective fridge

I dont know if i can explain it officer but the floppy shoes and big red nose are actually an existential trauma response

Ive had a lot of feelings. The internet has really not becone a place I feel good acknowledging or sharing that, so here is a duck I drew.

I just realized having different personas across platforms is basically having social media Innies

If you are having a rough day you can always say movie villain lines in the voice you give your pets

do you guys hear that bell tolling? wonder who it’s for. it’s so loud lmao

The first time I met Superman he was drunk as hell and eating accordions. "I like the way they smush in my mouth," he sputtered between bites.

As a millennial I love the word cheugy because it makes no sense to me yet I know exactly what it means and if I use it, I embody it

I like to imagine when Hulu asks "Are you still there?" It does so in a panicked whisper

Of course I get seconds, I'm eating for the multitudes I contain

There must be some kind of flipped Turing Test where you try to prove whether an AI can correctly tell when it is being intentionally lied to that would be super useful

Never underestimate the power of smelling like a christmas cookie

At the bottom of the Uncanny Valley is the Eldritch Swale

Can't wait for some grifter to rebrand internalized sexism as a persona called Misogynista

My version of nirvana is achieving the perfect state between serious and joking. Schrodinger's sarcasm

When you mistype a word but make a fancier word that's a typeau

I'm spending more time this year just doing shit in my sketchbook and it migjt be healing my brain

I am a solid atheist but i do wonder i collected food for a food drive, started a non profit community space, and every other good deed i've done is so god would have to let me into heaven anyways in spite of himself

Flailing my limbs around until I generate enough power to summon one of The Ancients

I was promised bread and circuses and all i got was a gluten intolerence and a clown king

I think it all started going off the rails when we decided to use the internet for news instead of porn

The comedian to tiktok "edutainer" pipeline does not need to be studied but I am confident some comedian will

Hoe many times do you think they caught someone living in a Costco before they were like, fuck it we'll just build 'em a house where they eat their own snacks

A piece I'm working on. Not totally sure if Im gonna see this through or redo the concept in a slightly different way

I know it's important when ypu deal with depression and illness to celebrate they small wins but i do hope they start getting a tad better tham "at least I was in the sun for 10 minutes today"

It's 2087. Your consciousness was uploaded to the cloud. You feel warm and weightless. You open your eyes to cold blue light; you have been added as an AI to someone's smart refrigerator. You spend the rest of your life commiserating with the other smart appliances in the kitchen, your cell mates.

Manic Pixie Sleep Paralysis Demon

No matter how much someone explains it to me, bitcoin is just another shitty installment in the Money franchise. There were a couple hits with Money: Look at these coins and Money 2: Paper is lighter, but the franchise really goes downhill

I feel like my skull is an air fryer

Epstein files look like every guilty white person's profile pic in the summer of 2020

I have a calzone once about every 3 years, because thays how lpng it takes me to forget why i only have a calzone once every 3 years

Benoit Blanc taking my cat's side in the case of I Have Never Been Fed Once, Ever

Listen you're either breaking bad or breaking benjamin but you can't be breaking both

Me: I'm feeling a little vulnerable Therapist: Have you tried sharing that thought to the internet so you can get absolutely dogpiled for it