"The deal will be signed on Friday." In other words, there's a whole business week for this to fall through. I'll believe the deal is real when it happens.

This happened once to my friends Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

I’m not saying shit about this “deal” until someone leaks the actual text because it’s being signed by two parties who are prone to hyperbolic bullshit and there’s no way to trust anything but the literal agreement text (and even then)

A bird flew into my window and I thought it was dead but then it just got up and went on its way like nothing had happened. Honestly pretty impressive.

Sandwiches are Jewish food because of Hillel send skeet

I rate the spicy tofu fried rice from the Thai place near me an "incredibly tasty" out of "extremely delicious."

Hi, we saw you from across the bar, and we'd like to give you health care.

Someone asked which muppet is most out of pocket on Sesame Street in the wake of the Knicks win. While there are lots of good answers, we actually have photographic evidence for this one

Glad to see the Mayor of New York City is celebrating Scotland's win tonight.

firmly believe the Scots should be allowed to wear soccer kilts, and if those don’t exist they should be allowed to invent them

I'm really digging my new e-reader that's actually just an Android tablet with color e-ink screen because it lets me keep access to my Kindle books via the app. And also it has an actual web browser so I can use it for reading digital magazines, comics, etc.

I know a handful of phrases in Japanese, but they're not useful tourist phrases. I can't ask where the bathroom is, but can say "Even so, I..." very dramatically.

One of the most eye-opening conversations about media literacy I've had in my life was with someone who didn't know the mice in An American Tail were Jewish.

Honestly bizarre to me that Discord doesn't have 1-to-1 emoji parity with Unicode.

Ulfric Stormcloak‽

TIL if you make up some nonsense saying, Google's AI summary will generate an equally nonsense meaning for it. It told me that "once mirrored, twice cooked" originates from traditional Chinese cooking techniques.

I get so much schadenfreude from watching these lawyers try to talk their way out of consequences (something I'm sure they're normally able to do quite easily) and the judges just not having it.

Compiling a list of things we, as children, thought would be bigger problems in our adult lives than they turned out to be: The Bermuda Triangle Quicksand Piranhas Catching on Fire What else?

[taking the deepest possible breath] the Dutch East India Company was established in 1602,

one of my favorite things about tiny children is that it does not matter what their race, gender or culture is they all love Garbage Truck equally

Coming soon to LinkedIn: "What Scaffolding Can Teach Us About B2B Sales."

You only get 20 characters for your first car ("Volkswagen New Beetle" would not fit*), but 99 characters for your first phone number. *This wasn't my first car but when thinking of an example I started with VW because it's a long name and it didn't take me long to find one.

Oh, well if the DOJ says so then it's probably fine! 🙄

Seersucker is great for hot weather–right up there with linen. But, uh, I don't think sitting senators are the ones who should be telling us about it. Maybe leave that to @dieworkwear.bsky.social. Also stop being so friendly with fascists.

Okay what about Mansa Musa though?

This might be hard for Americans to hear, but the USA getting humiliated by its abject failure as a power during this Iran War might be the best thing possible at this time. The country needs to understand there are consequences for electing a crook.

because we do not, apparently, have enough of our culture owned by the worst people alive

Happy Pride Month!

a little on the nose for capitalism that the world’s first trillionaire is a nazi conman

Everyone who wants to make a political take should be required to spend time coming to terms with the median voter beforehand.

Kalos riven by violence after local Slowpokes and Slowbros finally get around to guillotining their Slowking. Nobody has the heart to tell them Kalos is currently in its fifth republic.

I think it was a huge mistake when the Lego games switched from mumbles to actual voice lines.

It has become quite apparent that feelings don't care about facts either.

SOMEONE: Orange man bad. THE OOMPA LOOMPAS: Oompa Loompa doopity dipe That's an offensive stereotype Oompa Loompa doopity do We do not claim Trump he's one of you

pokemon go to the panopticon

Pokemon Go! To The Hague

Media really will use every possible euphemism to avoid just calling someone "racist."

The story of Icarus provides us with a valuable lesson: never fuck up real bad

It's annoying that it's difficult (not impossible, but harder than it should be) to find "decent" sunglasses. Like in most cases you're either getting cheap ones that feel terrible from the gas station, or you're spending $100-$200 on fancy ones.

I think the Halo remake should make the pistol even more overpowered as a joke.

Lol. Lmao, even.

who called it a territorial dispute and not ground beef

I know that the market can remain irrational, etc. but is there a point at which they won't be able to do that anymore? When does "there is physically not enough oil available" collide with "it can only good happen?"

What could possibly go wrong?

The problem with me is that now that the joke has entered the cultural zeitgeist to a certain extent, I absolutely would wear a "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt.

Antisemitism

Rehabilitative justice naturally follows from restorative justice, but not the other way around, so we should focus on the latter first.