I think they make talking scarecrows already (for Halloween). If you wanted them to be more interactive, you could hook one up to an AI chatbot. Of course, being powered by AI, it would say a lot of stupid things. If it only had a brain…

I am no physician but I think you should have started with a lot of eye drops the first day and then gradually tapered off. Just makes sense to me

Saw someone at the gym wearing this t-shirt. I wonder how it would go down if I showed up with a shirt that says "I'm not religious, I'm on team Pharisees"?

The Kickstarter for “Temeraire: The Roleplaying Game” is now open! www.kickstarter.com/projects/mag... I am so excited to bring to you this project by Magpie Games, the officially licensed tabletop roleplaying game that lets you join the world of Temeraire & take to the skies in the Napoleonic Wars

"Your last saved pic of a celebrity is your therapist" Yep, classic Beit Shammai therapy right there

Or, as I typeset it back in 1995...

my favorite part of the talmud is when all of the rabbis agreed about everything and no one got mad about it

I have never been more offended in my whole life

the sages invented the qt

Aaaand the first Bugbear Dispatch repost is up! Now, for the first time ever, anyone can read my essay on how some of Jesus's teachings are outright harmful for free! Please save and share with everyone who calls authoritarian Christians "fake Christians" chrisstroop.wordpress.com/2026/02/18/t...

It's called the Atbash cipher and Jeremiah uses it to get Babel backwards in Jeremiah 25:26

Yes, and my point is you don't know nearly as much as you think you do. What do you think they were doing "hanging around synagogue"? Can you tell the difference between an Amidah and a Gemara? Do you know Jews read the whole Torah yearly?Turns out Jews know more about Jewish texts than non-Jews.

No, it's because the Talmud is an encyclopedia-length text of legal debates that virtually no one reads unless they're motivated by religious reasons to do so, and because it's next to impossible to parse without some degree of Jewish education (formal or informal).

None of these words are in the Zohar

Hence the unusually high number of Polish-born Black Jews, and the occasional Blond Jew

There are forces in US politics that are far too quick to label all criticism of Israel as antisemitic, and also, there are people who see this moment of increased criticism of Israel on right and left as their moment to smuggle genuine, unabashed antisemitism into US politics. Both are true.

Not voting in a two-party election is mathematically and morally equivalent to voting for both sides. The message it sends is "I think either candidate would be okay 😊"

(in youth group leader voice) do you know what was the original Pokédex? It has 613 entries and as Jews, we gotta catch ‘em all

I'm always struck by how this is framed as the responsibility of other American Jews, and not of Israel to change its policies dramatically.

Happy Rosh Hashanah to Asians only

this is one of the funniest websites i have seen in a long time tilla.co.uk/project/juda...

No problem! As we say in Beit Shammai: "The best jokes are the ones you have to explain to people"

I know it's not the point, but I'm not going to praise the bride as beautiful when her hair looks like a tornado went by

Oh, so you're covering for the Palestinian Talmudic mafia, eh, @render365.bsky.social? (It's a shame you won't understand the joke)

So if you could go ahead and do teshuva, that'd be great

Re antisemitic lies about the Talmud (increasingly common these days, even though they’re recycled from hundreds of years ago).

Sharing this thread again, even though, embarassingly, there's a random extra word in the top post that shouldn't be there.

Haman was just brutally framemogged while trying to jestermaxx the Jews by gigachad Mordechai. Mordechai doesn’t bow. Doesn’t flinch. Just stands there aura-maxxed. With Haman's cortisol spiked and King Ahasuerus unable to ignore the Foids, Mordechai, Esther and the Jews just cloutbombed Shoshan.

I would encourage all the people who think making Jews feel unsafe and endangered in diaspora is based antizionism to look at where Mizraḥim lived in 1940, where they live now, and how they vote in the place they live now

This is the pet project of one rich AF Jewish nepo baby white lady who lives on the upper east side and claims to speak for all Jews and throws her money around to control the messaging and it is a fucking nightmare

Getting flashbacks to "Talk to Rabbi Rothschild on Discord"

Purim will be here in a few short weeks. In accordance with the custom of our people, I have elected to don a jocund costume to mark the mirthful levity of this festive season.

Try the Ben Zoma workout, all you have to do is subdue your Evil Inclination for 3 sets of 12 reps

I get Liz’s analysis here, but I’m going to have to say d’rabbanan because, IIRC, the mitzvah of alt-text was not given with the founding mitzvot of BluSky but, rather, was developed by elders later in response to real-world problems that emerged from the application of the founding mitzvot.

Is the mitzvah to include alt text on your Bluesky pictures d'oraita, or is it d'rabbanan?

OK. Let me preface this by saying I love Chad. They are a genuinely good human being despite my sometimes very profound disagreement with them on Israel policy. But the claim that "falsely over-identifying antisemitism inevitably leads to antisemitism" isn't just wrong, it's harmful.

I follow a feed for people talking about Jewish sacred literature, which is my comfort zone. But sometimes even I don't know what they're talking about

Shammai for my real friends, real AI for my sham friends

It's a mystery why they wouldn't run my Super Bowl commercial for ShammAI, the only LLM that tells you that your question is stupid and you should be able to figure this out yourself

"Living justly demands that we oppose cruelty and stand up for the stranger..." My d'var #Torah from this morning. velveteenrabbi.com/2026/02/07/w...

Shammai, hearing that overwhelmingly we'd hold by Beit Hillel's opinions because they're humble and modest snf present the opinion of Beit Shammai before their own.

live footage of Shammai winning a debate against Hillel about triple loops in tzitztit

This is counterintuitive, but I'm pretty sure I'm a chaos muppet and Hillel is an order muppet

And there's nothing that can be done about it, either. That's just human nature. If you're not resigned to relentless expressions of despair on Bluesky by now, then you're just living in denial, and I specifically want you to know that I Judge you for it

How much would it cost to put up a poster that says "Want to learn Torah on one foot? No. Go away. JewDontBelong"

Racking my brains for another joke to add to this thread, but I'm coming up empty. I got nothing. Just a Maslow's hierarchy of tumbleweeds

According to the rabbinic understanding, it is actually Deace that is the REAL Sodomite: truah.org/resources/pa...

putting not cheese on my not burger for parevemaxxing purposes

Don't boil no kid in it's not-mother's non-milk