Aaaaaaaa everything about this is infuriating! The ignorance, the representation, the brush off, and FFS why WHY with the crocheting? I can do both but I’m in the minority, and anyone who can do both is naturally going to excel at one over the other

Quote something random from your phone

Quote something random from your phone

I needed this right now holy balls 🧵

Today’s gay agenda: Clients from 7 AM to 10:30 AM Buy shirt and pants, tailor Clients from 12:30 to 2:00 PM Get ready for fancy dinner Clients from 5:00 to 6:30 PM Fancy dinner 7:00 PM Clients 10 PM to ??? Kinda hate that I can’t enjoy a fancy party without having to squeeze it in between clients

I hate being conscious

In honor of apple picking season: the secret of why Honeycrisp apples are so expensive! This tree is angry at being alive and will make it your problem (if you plant it)

Migraine => upset tum => not hungry => forgetting to eat => low blood sugar => shaking, nausea, lightheaded, panicky => finally get food at 2:30, ready to art!!! Except now I’m eepy I can squeeze in an hour if I zzzzzzzZ

This is the body type of every 3 to 4 month old kitten I’ve ever known

Now I’m just a simple country lawyer but it seems to me that if you use a predictive text generator to send people to prison you and everyone in your supervisory chain should get disbarred. www.sacbee.com/news/local/a...

so Trump & the Republicans NEED ppl to starve, because that's their leverage to get the democrats to cave to their fascist demands to reopen the government but in order to secure that leverage they're mutilating their optics and prrsenting an unambiguous hostage scenario do i have that right

“I want to step on your neck, little one.” “Please kill me while you’re at it ♥️”

Dear fucking god my head hurts so much why did I wake up where are my pills

And now, an important announcement from Captain Jean Luc Picard.

“Kiki, can’t you call me by my GIVEN name, not ‘Human’?” “It’s my name for YOU, human—like you got a name for ME!…You COULD call me what my kitty mom called me!” “Which was…?” “‘Greedy-Eater-Doesn’t-Play Fair-Uses-Sharp-Teeth-and-Claws.’” “I’LL stick with ‘Kiki.’” “And I’LL stick with ‘Human.’”

My buddy picked up a spare kid - a friend of his own son. Said kid lives with his dad, a single parent on disability after a near fatal car crash. Last night Kid was at my buddy's for dinner and asked, "Can you pack me some spaghetti to go? My dad's been starving himself to make sure I eat."

Growing concerned that Boo Boo might be the world's most photogenic kitten.

My little emotional support kittens waiting not so patiently for me to turn the damn tub faucet on for a little drink😹 Lily Spicypotatopants & Lance Longleggington

“Here at Bluesky, we love to ignore feedback from the majority of our user base and instead try to distract with some inane topic. We are definitely different from Twitter.”

A classic

VOICEOVER: in the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate, yet entirely opposite, groups: the police, who are afraid of sandwiches, and sandwich wielders, armed with food consisting of two pieces of bread filled with meat, cheese, and vegetables. these are their stories.

Update: Transferred art to blocks, finished smallest carve, started next carve. Too detailed to do more work this late, I have LEARNED MY LESSON more than once. Folio finished and sent out, idea for the second needs sketching out, third is still ??? Half the kiss cuts done. Made a mini logbook.

Okay so it was 10 years ago but it also involved Michael Chiklis

Quote post with your favorite thing you’ve made lately! Comparison of block print carvings done in 10/2024 vs. 10/2025. I am INCREDIBLY proud of how far my technique has progressed in just a year. #Art 🐡

O SHIT I HAVE A DR PEEPER IN THE CAR

Okay. I’ve got the art done for 3 stamps, just need to carve them. I need to finish a folio, design 2 more, cut some bases for cards, kiss cut some stamps, and then I’ll almost be caught up. LET ME DIE

It’s like it was made to be the front page art for an issue of The Onion

Donnie is tired of waiting for supper. Donnie is no longer asking

Editorial cartoon: Don't bread on me. Enjoy :)

“Hey dawg, I heard you like sexually harassing women…”

EVERY SINGLE ONE IS FUNNY

Sandwich Guy thanks everyone for their support, “emotional, spiritual, artistic or financial.” Intones, “Let us not forget that the great seal of the United States says…‘ out of many, one.’…You all have a right to live a life that is free.”

Two prosecutors are now going to have to deal with the question, “wait aren’t you the guys who lost the sandwich case?” for the rest of their lives.

guys I’m sorry but have you looked through Getty images for yesterday 💀

Y’all if you haven’t seen this sketch…enjoy.

The Democratic ticket in 2024 was like The Whitest Kids U Know sketch The Grapist where one guy is trying to point out how offensive a commercial is and the yes men around him refuse to see it. "I love it. Grape those kids!"

Also, I got my usual cash tip, plus a second cash tip from a new client so it’s definitely time for a treat

How, exactly, is it always Brazilsky that gets ahold of my dommy mommy Gwendolyn Christie post with the horny ass alt text? (obrigado)

Rent is free in spider city

RFK jr:

The saddest thing I think that I learned from a behind the bastards episode was that yes, he actually is an excellent doctor and very talented and yet he chose to devote his life to grift, misinformation and trying to beat the world record for most boots licked during an administration

Oh my god I am SOBBING

…oh…

Woohoo!!!! my client has worked like three 14-hour days so he took off work today and canceled his visit but I’m still getting paid and now I have an extra hour off to just fuck right around

Oh god I don’t even work in software dev but this scenario made me clench my jaw so hard that I heard a ligament squeak

Please enjoy this picture of Lumpy looking more mysterious and debonair than any of us ever will in our entire lives

Oh hell yes I just remembered I have half an order of yaki udon in the microwave and enough time to run home and get it FUCK YEAH LEVEL 4

Y’all. Mustache over there looks like someone told him 20 minutes before this press conference that he needed to wear a suit, and his teenage son was absolutely taking the piss out of him by letting him borrow one and assuring him it looked great. A real ally would have handed him a long jacket