The payoff is … perfection.

I'm sure Starmer will be along shortly to condemn these. Alt text: various political cartoons from major British newspapers leaning hard into stereotypically antisemitic caricatures to depict Zack Polanski

keir starmer is endorsing zack polanski.

I agree - let's get rid of that 2% of antisemites from the Greens. Let's not pretend that the Greens aren't the LEAST antisemitic party though, with the Lib Dems coming a very close second. No surprises who the MOST antisemitic are.

What if Mercator could draw right?

Without stating your age post your favourite film released the year you turned 18.

Sagittarius - this week, all your buses will be replaced with wormholes.

The Devil Wears Red and Green

Really wish I had a shower with a curtain now.

Name your top 15 birds, gut instincts only Boobies Great tits Blue tits Crows Ravens Jackdaws Jays Swallows Kookaburras Miner birds Red Kites Wrens Sparrows Owls I also like a cockatoo

Slightly diminish a book Modest Expectations

Autoglass repair, Autoglass replace

Sainsbo’s were all out of athlete’s foot cream so I’m using vaginal thrush cream instead. I’m pretty sure it’s the same stuff.

In the early days of COVID it wasn’t easy to get hold of masks so a lot of people made their own from old bras. They were quite effective but wearing them you did look like a right tit.

Name your top 15 TV shows, no overthinking The West Wing Psych Avatar: The Last Airbender Red Dwarf The Wire Schitt’s Creek The Young Ones Better Off Ted Veronica Mars Brooklyn 99 Blackadder Daria Flight of the Conchords Only Murders in the Building Dharma and Greg

I might need new glasses as I thought this was a centaur.

A retweet by Zack Polanski is now the main story across every single media outlet. Two days ago, it was revealed that Nigel Farage failed to disclose a £5 million gift from a crypto-billionaire. It gets nowhere near the media attention, for straightforward political reasons.

but the nectarines think you’re kind of an asshole

the Sacramento zoo has 6 BABY CAPYBARAS

“We found two of the worst men in politics to replace one woman who was competently doing her job”

Stop dismissing things as "whataboutery". You didn't do that the other time.

Meanwhile back in Glasgae, a visit to the local park took an unexpected turn.

This is how the kid from Flight Of The Navigator posts

Me doing some yard work

Have you ever noticed that the massive, coordinated, multi-year assault on trans rights is based on NOTHING WHATSOEVER

Your uncles when they put on Madness at the wedding reception

New “Live Laugh Love” just dropped.

I have kinda the opposite. A teacher who gave me amazing encouragement and support but then they went off on long term sick and I had a succession of temporary replacements who didn’t care because they weren’t sticking around.

Nah, people around the world asked a specific question about the shooting, got told “no,” and then stopped caring

"Three young Barn Owls looking out of the quatrefoil of a church in North Norfolk."

Going back on lowering the viting age will not only hand an even bigger majority to Reform, it'll create a whole generation who will never vote for Labour, just like when Lib Dem's went back on their tuition fee pledge when they went into coalition with the Tories.

Potatoes are stupid. They’ve got all these eyes and none of them can see. This is not what I meant when I asked you to roast the potatoes.

Going after Parkrun – a non-competitive event which has no changing rooms – perfectly illustrates that it's never been about fairness in sport, women's safety or anything else. It's about bullying and demonising trans people, hounding them out of public life in every space possible. It's disgusting.

No shit Sherlock And its opposite Yes, wee Moriarty

This is why it's important authors read a lot, Murakami has no idea this has been done already

Sky News: Human penises are shrinking because of pollution, warns scientist. Greta Thunberg: See you all at the next climate strike :) news.sky.com/story/human-...

Share someone who looks stylish with an umbrella.☔️

How tall is the average cinema boss?

Yeah, it’s usually much worse than that.

My new book Whale Bellows And Dog Whistles is now available on Inaudible.

You say potato. I say potato. Now we're both just screaming potato at each other. This social experiment has failed.

This guy is a hero

How privatisation works (and Thames Water is just the latest example). 1. A government takes a national asset built up with taxpayers' money and the work of public servants over many years, and hands it, for a fraction of its value, to a private company. 2. In doing so, it creates a monopoly. 🧵

Happy St George’s Day 🙏🏼❤️

They’ll probably post the code to their public git repo soon enough.

"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." What a stupid quote. I'm killing way more than two people, idiot

This 😏👇

If you're a cis person who thinks that Starmer and his government being appalling on trans human rights is a non-issue because 'nobody's perfect', rather than a telling insight into a fundamental lack of respect for basic human rights law, and a necessary warning for all people to heed...well.

Mad fact... 42% of Labour Prime Ministers have had to fire Peter Mandelson.

Me: a stitch? No way I’ve got time for that. Me, doing nine stitches: well, this fucking sucks.