Fighting talk from Ed Miliband...

Never buy cheap chargers, Lads. Always buy branded products from reputable retailers... I know what I'm talking about because it's sort of my job.

Last one from me, I promise* *promise not legally binding.

Lesley Judd though...

Not queuing in Bars, Political Sex Scandals, Going for a Curry after a Night Round the Town so you can keep Drinking, Buying Single Fags and a Match from Ice Cream Vans, Finding Porn in Hedges, Running your Finger through your Arsecrack and Wiping it On Your Mates Top Lip...

Everything reminds me of him...

Wednesday.

Five people Blocked me today and I've only posted this.

Tuesday.

Just updating my Block List, has Sp!ller of Te@ turned up here yet...

I remember Martin getting a lot of abuse from idiots for going to the Tory Party Conference over on The Bird Site, so this is an important caveat.

Truth.

It's made it easier to identify idiots who think being arrested for a cause is a noble action... So there's that.

Not the biggest fan of Golf, but I am a big fan of the Europeans beating the Septic Tanks. 👍

My guts when I'm caught short and need to use a public toilet.

Saturday.

As much as I wouldn't have wanted my daughter's information online, what data could they possibly have on an under 5 that would actually be damaging?

I do not have a bad word to say about Ming Campbell. RIP.

Reader, it wasn't bad news at all. The exact opposite of Bad News in fact. 👍

Oh, you're against Mandatory Government ID Cards? Yet I see you have a Tesco Clubcard...

Was indifferent to ID cards but now I've seen this, sign me up for a platinum one.

The racist Edgelords arrive in court...

If you see this, post a Bridge.

Boss just sent me a meeting request for today called "Quick Chat".

"Fuck, Charles will be King"

Yes Minister on ID Papers. Hacker - "How will the other countries feel about identity papers? Won't they resist too?" Humphrey - "The Germans will love it, the French will ignore it, and the Italians and the Irish will be too chaotic to enforce it. Only the British will resent it."

Friday.

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA 10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

I'm immediately put off. There's going to be Cunts wearing Bowler Hats in the street, isn't there?

Thursday.

Five years since this tremendous typo.

THIS! I want to taste lots of things, not just one thing.

Wednesday.

A quick guide on "How to fall downstairs": Step 1 Step 6 Step 8, 9, 10, 11.

My Mum had a Pontiac LeMans when I was a Kid. Not as nice as this though.

That "Tory-Coded" question doing the rounds is very revealing because it appears that everyone equates Tory Things as Nice Things...

Anyway guys, what time's this Rapture happening, do I need to go to my meetings or not?

The look your Toddler gives you as he poops his pants.

Tuesday.

Bill Clinton watching everybody get into trouble over Epstein.

Me on the way to the Rapture.

I don't think I have the energy for this one...

Everyone that never watched Jimmy Kimmel before can go back to not watching it... 🙄

Gave up on Level 18