I can hear this photo.

Oh yeah! I'm going to be so safe!

Years ago a friend of mine described James Cordon as someone who has definitely eaten dog shit on a dare of his own instigation in order to get to hang around with the cool, football lads. Kash Patel gives the same vibes.

"Are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb." (To my mind, the most perfect joke ever in a sitcom.)

Rob Grant. Fucking awful. This one really stings.

I've heard bad reviews but, to be fair the new Wuthering Heights does seem deeply erotic.

Crime 101 is proper great. Really pleased I finally saw it. Just one little bit that annoyed me but the rest of it was really fantastic

So much chef on chef crime in my area. The remnants of a drive by seasoning.

So much chef on chef crime in my area. The remnants of a drive by seasoning.

Crime 101 is proper great. Really pleased I finally saw it. Just one little bit that annoyed me but the rest of it was really fantastic

They're called 'vegans' these days, uncle.

He didn't even get a chance to go by his cool initials, AMW. That could have been how he referred to himself on his GB News show that he'd definitely be offered and definitely accept.

Can't believe they're going to send Not Prince Andrew to an adult prison. He'll HATE that.

5th year at MPF!

Devastated to hear that Brewdog managed to make shit beer for divs for so long.

Devastated to hear that Brewdog managed to make shit beer for divs for so long.

*gestures to the BBC to come closer* Hey lads. Come here. Just watching Small Prophets. You know, that thoughtful, sweet comedy you've given someone time and money to make. How about you invest in more people that have nice ideas and maybe nurture a new generation of voices? Just an idea, like.

Let’s end the day of Lord of the Rings wtf with an Aragorn upskirt.

Sent from her own kind of iPhone.

Sent from her own kind of iPhone.

Andrew Ranken. Fucking demon. Sleep well.

Andrew Ranken, The Pogues drummer & founding member, dies at 72 www.brooklynvegan.com/andrew-ranke...

AI is getting to the point where you honestly can't tell. Hashtagchatgpt hashtagproperlycooltrend

a "brat Credit Card?" they gave her a "brat Credit Card?" they had the BALLS to give one of the GREATEST POPSTARS OF ALL TIME, A "BRAT CREDIT CARD?"

AI is getting to the point where you honestly can't tell. Hashtagchatgpt hashtagproperlycooltrend

But… but is there *ANY* way this could be a woman’s fault…?

You loved Negative Nancy. Wait until you meet her cousin!

The answer will be “podcast”. The answer is always “podcast”.

in invincible, omni-man, who is basically an alien fascist marries an asian woman who he reveals he sees as a 'pet'. I wonder if they knew how spot on they were when they first wrote that

30% off skanking lessons. Not a bad deal to fair. (No joining fee but you have to join the brass section for 6 months.)

Say what you like about him... He potted as many balls as he could. How many of us can say the same?

But where will she unconvincingly smoke cigars with her attempts at mean-girl, knowing stares now? She's probably the biggest victim but NO ONE is talking about her. Hashtagprotectverywealthywomen

So many men named in the Epstein files say "I was only emailing him for financial advice, something I now hugely regret of course" and then the email is "hi j-dawg, loved partying with you and the naughty little girls this weekend, same again soon, bestie?" and Epstein replying "me am sayy yse . !1"

Regular nonces must be kicking themselves that they didn't become billionaires so that evidence of their being massive nonces just receives shrugs and/or support. Silly nonces.

Only 2? I'll bet it's Never Enough. HashtagTurnstileAreMid

"When I asked to go to Epstein's island I was going to say 'Ok I'll go' and then send another email that said 'psych!'. So now you look stupid and I am bantz." Elon Musk

Every time someone good dies I imagine the dad from Stand By Me saying "should have been you" to the Washington Paedo.

GNU Catherine O’Hara 💔

She was so fucking good. Sleep well.

As I came in through the window, and it was a beautiful window. So beautiful. The best windows we've had. The type of window Joe Biden banned. We got 'em back. As I came in through the window, there was the sound of a crescendo. I just learned that. A new word. Crescendo. The best crescendo.

Ok, I think enough time has passed now and everyone has moved on (especially his wife) but upon hearing the name "Charlie Kirk" does anyone else hear it sung to the tune of 80s stop motion animation "Charlie Chalk"?

Ok, I think enough time has passed now and everyone has moved on (especially his wife) but upon hearing the name "Charlie Kirk" does anyone else hear it sung to the tune of 80s stop motion animation "Charlie Chalk"?

As I came in through the window, and it was a beautiful window. So beautiful. The best windows we've had. The type of window Joe Biden banned. We got 'em back. As I came in through the window, there was the sound of a crescendo. I just learned that. A new word. Crescendo. The best crescendo.

In my other role as co-host of Punk Rock Elite today we talk about Marrowbone Lane by Chewie which is honestly a record so many more people should hear. Find us in your podcatcher of choice.

Breaking News: Donald Trump Does U-Turn on Annexing Claudia Winkleman after being awarded shield.

Trying to work out if my new logo should be a skull with a beard or a skull with a beard and a flat cap. So I can make it clear that my barber/coffee roaster/brewery/takeaway/landscape gardening/roofing/accountancy firm/motivational speaking/nursery is maverick and does things differently.

My two favourite John Lennon quotes are “Imagine no possessions” and “Does that Rolls Royce come in white?” #totp

Sure. You can join for free but their sandwiches look disgusting.

All this for free!

Sure. You can join for free but their sandwiches look disgusting.