I hope I'll never be one of those losers that dies one day.

In The Odyssey, Circe, the witch-goddess turns Odysseus’s crew into swine but with Hermes' help, Odysseus resists Circe’s powers and then becomes her lover, by her side for a year. But if you ever turn MY boys into swine, there's no way i'll be your lover for more than 6 months.

The Bega they come, the Mambo they Five.

Name a more iconic island...

Arcade Fire would've been a great name for a big room of video games that is burning.

I got to argue against the ridiculous @benrussells.bsky.social on his original circular debate format 'Girt'. youtu.be/N0vCPuaOHzg?...

Guests for tomorrow's livestream. Its gonna be a big one.

Hello kind listeners. We're having our 500th Two in the Think Tank episode livestream tomorrow. The livestream starts at 8am Melbourne time. We have so many guests from The Weekly Planet pod, Do Go On, Sanspants & many many more. Link for tomorrow: youtube.com/live/nitLNCM...

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving with a visit from @alasdairtb.bsky.social @locallaughs.bsky.social tonight

America's funniest home births

I would die of natural causes for my family

In the TV show Seinfeld, every character is trying to find love but dismisses each potential mate because of small petty flaws. However when we watch the show, the reason we love these characters is because of their flaws.

We all know that the wheels on the bus go round and round, all through the town. I'm not telling you anything new here. But what I feel is being ignored is that its in rural areas, on rural roads, that bus wheels are getting the majority of their rotations.

This nuclear sub thing won't work but what will distract me from the epstein list is if Trump goes into the criterion closet.

Calling people who ride bicycles 'cyclists' is bi erasure.

My new book goes on sale roughly 6 to 18 months after i start then finish writing it.

That "Paper Airplanes" rapper was everywhere but now seems to be M.I.A.

two thirds of acting is having a haunting face

Hey, before this world war is over, let's not forget to sow the seeds of the next one.

As a severely depressed astronaut, I for one am very excited to get to fly on this one day.

I think I'm gonna spend the second part of my life getting arrested a lot.

There should be little rocks you can keep near the cpu in your computer that get hot and you can get them out and drop them in you coffee to warm it up so you don't have to get up and go to the microwave.

It's actually 'anywhom'

Gym bros are the new philosophers.

I'm gonna go with my gut and trust them.

You shouldn't stab people, you don't know what kind of day they've had.

I'm gonna become a futurist. That's my first prediction.

Had to scrambled my eggs as butter entered pan airspace.

i don't go with the flow I get carried away by the flow.

when less is more nothing must be so much

Checkmate is a move that's devastating to your chess friend but crucial to the wellbeing of your lonely friend.

this is the best hour of standup ever i reckon @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdhr...

I think it's the 21 year old drinking age that keeps America such a reasonable and stable country.

Ever since the freedom of speech people got in, social media is just full of coded messages like "someone needs to decorate the orange cake"

The only thing that's remained stable for the last twenty years in this dang economy is guac is two dollars extra.

Since all cables come out the back of computers, the internet is an ass to ass based technology.

Updated our EXTREMELY HANDY list of YouTube specials to include new uploads from Celia Pacquola, Garrett Millerick, @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social, Guy Montgomery, Marjolein Robertson, @martinurbano.bsky.social and @mrsamsee.bsky.social, how NICE... 📽️ noblefailure.org/specials

giving up spell check for Lunt

People always complain about the power outages but never celebrate the power inages.

We've got some big news: Heavyweight officially has a new home Pushkin Industries. Tell your friends, your exes… tell the strangers on the subway! And be sure to subscribe to the feed to hear about new episodes. www.nytimes.com/2025/02/25/b...

News seems to have a real cunt bias right now. We needs reports on what people who aren't cunts are doing.

Man, 2016 was such a bad year.

Something is afoot in my shoe.

I swear to god it used to be the 'Mandala effect'.

Nice guys finish fast.

Remember when that CEO got itsameed

Once you watch Babe you realise why they called the pig Babe.

Men have nipples for the same reason sharks have teeth. Because or else they look like a dolphin.

My anaconda don't want none unless you got rats, hun.