Sunday is a day for family. Which Iron Maiden album will you be playing at them today?

I’m disgusted to hear my friend STILL subscribes to Disney+. I cancelled 2 years ago, but still watch because she gave me her log in details. Our friendship will be over if she doesn’t quit soon. Preferably after I’ve seen all of Alien Earth. I honestly feel like I’m the only person making a stand.

Fair play to Ulster Unionists. If Northern Ireland can’t be more English, England will just have to be more Northern Irish.

It’s today!! I’ve been looking forward to today. I’m going to have a lovely day. My account has not been hacked.

Pubs are full of kids on Saturdays and Sundays. Schools are closed on Saturdays and Sundays. I think we can make a deal…

Did you send me a gift in the post a couple of days ago? I got a thing, but I have no idea who sent it. I know I didn’t drunk buy it for myself because it’s nice.

Kirk was a red shirt.

There’s been a shooting in America. www.newsweek.com/charlie-kirk...

Hey there.

You begged for more photos of me. Well, here they are! All taken by the excellent AS Studios Ltd at the Derby Comedy Club.

Who doesn’t love Iron Maiden trivia questions? TRUMP, that’s who. And Farage. There’s no way they would look at this brilliant Instagram account. You’re nothing like Trump or Farage though, are you? Are you? www.instagram.com/impqpodcast

I needed to read that.

This podcast takes the misery out of Monday mornings

Every Monday, me and @danmersh.bsky.social put out a podcast. It’s funny. You should give it a go. Follow the podcast here: @impq.bsky.social and give it a listen tomorrow. Thanks!

Free fringe?

Have you seen Donald Trump’s hair? It’s not very good.

The hilarious @michaellegge.bsky.social headlines The Leadmill Comedy Club on Wednesday 3rd September! Tickets from just £8 are still available from: leadmill.co.uk/event/leadmi...

I’m having a party!

I really am. Even older, in fact.

Brand new episode of our podcast out today. What other Iron Maiden podcast gives you so much information about Englebert Humperdinck, the Edinburgh Fringe, arthritis, arguing and drama students singing Happy Birthday? You’d be daft to miss @impq.bsky.social. Out every Monday.

There. This is what you like.

Really pissed off with David Bowie tribute acts for not appearing in any of those AI pictures of other rock tribute acts greeting Ozzy in Heaven.

Really moving and beautiful AI picture of Ozzy being greeted in Heaven by Lemmy, Ronnie James Dio, Randy Rhoades, Pat Butcher, Steve Davis, Jimmy Savile and the Sycamore Gap tree. So accurate. So respectful.

Hey there! So I mentioned this on next week’s episode of @impq.bsky.social and if you’d like to hear a terrific recording of a set from the Piece Of Mind tour of which there are almost no decent recordings then this is right up your street. youtu.be/75fZDgAUYAU?...

Here’s my Ozzy thoughts.

And here’s Eamonn Holmes speaking to concerned citizens just before Ozzy’s gig at the Avoneil Leisure Centre, Belfast in 1986. www.facebook.com/northernirel...

I think this is one of Black Sabbath’s most underrated songs. Well worth watching. All four band members are stunning on this. youtu.be/dz9cTVG0qp4?...

Perfect.

Fucking hell. The “Ozzy waving from Heaven” videos have started already.

Goodnight, Ozzy. Let’s all leave a window open tonight for him to fly into.

‘Figures in black play Italy….’

“What is this that stands before me?” - the England football team.

Autopsy report says that cause of death was decapitation by dove.

The England team are so upset about Ozzy that they can’t score a goal. I hope that helps.

The first time I saw Ozzy live was in Belfast 1986. He was being protested by Ian Paisley with a loudhailer. Somehow, Ozzy was louder, so I decided I’d go with him instead of Ian. Ian said Ozzy was “Satan himself”. This is how Satan dressed that night. I like Satan.

Satan must be packing his bags.

Audience members constantly teach me how little I need to know about Tik fucking Tok.

Michael knows.

For the 62nd time this week, I’m listening to ONE OF TWO brand new Jim Bob albums out next month and they are both fantastic! If I were you, I’d go to @cherryredrecords.bsky.social and buy a copy. You’ll be glad you did. He just keeps making classics. He’s our nation’s greatest treasure. Don’t miss!

Fuck. Off.

Looking forward to seeing which celebrities are on this year’s Epstein New Year’s Honours list.

Air conditioning should be burned.

Your mother sucks cocks in hell, but all good dogs go to heaven. ❤️🥰❤️😍🐶🐕🦮🐩🐕‍🦺🐾💩🐺❤️❤️❤️ www.lindablairworldheart.org

Black Sabbath are free.

Amazing farewell gig by Black Sabbath tonight. One of their best so far. So glad they supported themselves at this gig, so they can do another farewell gig 20 minutes later. Can’t believe we’ll never ever see them again ever until Tuesday. 😢🙏🤘🚑

Want to feel old? This is what Jaws looks like now.

It’s been 39 hours since Ozzy Osbourne’s last retirement. It’s not like Sharon to wait this long…