"Oh! No way! I thought this was AI when I got the ad for it! It's real!" - my husband considering a Mountain Dew Baja Blast Snuggie from the Farm & Fleet for my Valentine's gift

We’re gonna win but man everyday is so fucking hard

14yo: I read the definition of a Sadie Hawkins Dance but does that mean that the REST of the dances, a boy has to ask? Me: that is what society pressures us to do, yes 14yo: well, at least society is collapsing!

I need one of those devices people use to talk to their pets when they are at work but for my infant niece who does not have a cell phone yet

I have been working in family law for about 8 years and I often miss my previous 20 years in HVAC but not during cold snaps like this. Godspeed to all of my CSRs and dispatchers out there, I hope I raised you right.

my kingdom for just one sprint car race promoted by @mustangjosh94.bsky.social

hey everybody Dorothy Lynch Salad Dressing is finally on Tiktok if you have been waiting

It's hard to sum up the Trump Doctrine of International Affairs, but "But I want an Oompa-Loompa now!" goes a long way

my kid is blasting Tegan and Sara's The Con album while getting ready this morning, so if you thought the world needed another me in it, the project is well on track

THE POPE'S STILL GOT IT

Sent my husband on some errands this morning in his Ditka sweater and mustache because strangers love his vibes.

sometimes there are too many side quests for me to handle in a single day and I have to enlist my production partner @adaventurer.com

Hey girl hey

I think the World's Greatest Driver has a cheap boxed dye job.

@gibvoice.bsky.social Hi I have an important sports question within your realm of expertise. Why didn't you tell me that Aaron Rodgers might have an imaginary wife?

Emilio Hoover drop your conditioner recs asap

semi-regular reminder that ICE was only created in 2003 when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out

new mandatory post

People talk about putting the cocaine, back in Coke. How about the lithium back in 7-Up.

I have turned on the Chili Bowl Alternate stream on my 2nd living room TV (for science) but my tall person isn't home so I had to do hilarious remote control contortions like a bartender.

I'm on the Chili Bowl live stream before the announcers have shown up so I have to make up my own backstory and driver's name for the flip count additions and honestly it's better this way.

[butt rock plays, cut off by sound of bear growling] YOU'RE LISTENING TO MIKEY AND THE POPE IN THE MORNING [m-m-MORNING] here to give you all the bears talk you need on your commute [whistle blows, QB says hike, gregorian chanting] now here's mikey and our heavenly father, LIVE from lakeview

bears

happy for all the Bears fans except my husband who is probably going to keep his Ditka mustache for another week

Zach: Don't tell anybody but I've started putting Anderson's maple syrup in this cocktail Me: I'm going to tell Bill Balog Zach: okay, yes, you can tell Bill Balog

@jon.turningfortune.com @bauxoffice.bsky.social we've got Jaden Christ in a Limited Mod at the Wild West Shootout

Goalies carpooling to Chicago this week like retired Elphabas getting summoned back to Broadway during the pandemic cc: @adaventurer.com

Commesso is starting for the Blackhawks tonight after just getting called up a few hours ago. You know that accountant in Oak Park is at least doing some light stretching right now.

sometimes it's more predictable than usual that we're going to end up on the jumbotron

I just tight-rolled the sleeves of my Malort hockey jersey, in case anyone out there is filming a TV show set in an early 90s Chicago dive bar and is looking for a manic pixie dream girl.

This Bananaphone Kills Fascists

god I love being an aunt

oh shit tomorrow is circle back day already

Early January 2026. Life included: Coronado Theatre, Tulsa Shootout via Carlson Ice Arena, Skechers Jen Stark Infinite Drip, Chili's with @adaventurer.com

I always feel bad when people follow me after a political post. My next post is going to be about Kool-Aid Man's dick

If your position is that regime change should be forced on countries where the president does not respect democratic norms and regularly kidnaps opponents using an officially sanctioned paramiliatary, have I got news for you about your position on the United States

@bauxoffice.bsky.social Hi why did Brady Bacon name his kid after pork rinds

"Well, the lord loves the smell of burning fat. We all have our things, I guess." - my husband as I turn on the Tulsa Shootout again

@adaventurer.com we could take you to the races like this

"Clout Chaser? What does that mean? Is that one of these children on the TV race?" - my husband

Bumping this from a year ago because I think I have at least 3 more followers who know who RTJ is.

"I want to be in your group chat with @mustangjosh94.bsky.social but only when you are talking about bad race car driver names and not when you're talking about actual racing.' - my husband

sometimes I think I will use the caution laps during the Tulsa Shootout to finally learn what the classes are and then a name like "Mekentzi" shows up on my screen and I lose motivation

and so it begins

my husband gave me a banjo for Christmas and I gave my little brother a keytar and we're definitely going to find one perfect song to turn into complete chaos

Little girl's mom in gas station bathroom: where did this scratch come from? Little girl: I don't have any scratches Mom: Hazel, I NEEEEED you to stop petting kitties that don't want to be petted Hazel: they DO want to be petted

husband brought me to Milwaukee Public Library for an architecture tour because he knows what is what

hi, I got a banjo / a whole new personality for Christmas