Alex Bones. The #1 source of news for Bluesky Catgirls and people with Garfield PFPs.

They don’t photograph well, but these beans (pronounced Sean) are going to be so good

Dad stop playing air guitar! I’m trying to chop your head off with my laser! *slice noises*

beans appetite

I hope it’s painful as hell when he goes.

Let’s get high and make some mfing beans and tacos

2026 official soundtrack

If nobody else got me, the same music I've been listening to since I was 15 got me. 🙏🤝🎶

It rules so much that Kerry King is such a dogshit soloist

When you get paid to say the most absolute brain dead shit.

Board games are wild with Jess.

borzoi look like dehydrated great pyrenees

genocide: no thanks

One of my favorite things about limp bizkit is that every once in a while you’re like “whoa, is that Scott Weiland?” And it is!

bluesky is an echo chamber you guys should really be reading stuff like Why Genocide Is Good Magazine

I can already feel myself not feeling well tomorrow around 11:30 in the morning oh no

Who else beaned up right now?

I’m running on an anti-poverty platform Healthcare to all Union strength Extended public school through an AA degree

the united states of babs

If you don’t like dippy eggs I am sorry.

Hell yeah

Let’s get zooted and eat hashbrowns

I’d eat you alive

We showed you our dinodicks please respond

Kash Patel: (pressing buzzer on desk) Find out who trained Jason Bourne

We are *Tony Hawk-ing* the Shark. Fancy spins and board grabs and whatnot.

Sounds Like a Good Power 👍

I was going to get blood work today, but it’s fucking gross out. Instead, I will NOT be getting blood work. Maybe the cute phlebotomist will be there.

"I bet I could throw a[n oil tanker] over them mountains."

I really do take after my parents, thank you for noticing! Half of me is dead, the other half severely mentally ill.

im just really fucking sick of spending my entire adult life lurching from one worldwide economic disaster to another all because people pretend republicans arent dumb as dog shit morons completely detached from reality

Which way western man

If you make AI shit you have forgotten the face of your father

I wish this motherfucker would cease to exist.

wake up you piece of shit it's time to continue your depression

all my enemies are m*n

I just think war is bad and should not happen for any reason

In America, the Supreme Leader makes his flunkies and generals wear shoes that don’t fit

Jerking off to completion in defiance of my SSRI

It’s all fun and games till Lu Bu shows up and fucking whacks you with a giant stick

She bounces on it like she’s the next contestant on The Price is Right

Too many books? What’s next? Too many hopes? Too many dreams?

Logging on.

Shooting grok to impress Tilly Norwood

its taking all of my energy to not use PTYO today I should check my calendar and see whats on my list for today...

Ay yo, @cranfath3r.bsky.social how you feeling homie? After our talk, I pulled this out of the garage. I've had this bitch since 98!