Happy anniversary to the time I was dissociating on break at my retail job and my manager decided to describe a lesbian bdsm manga he loves. He knew something about me I didn’t at that point and I have to respect that.

all of my thoughts are in animal crossing villager language

So if you share some human food to your dog that’s okay, thats “promoting healthier alternatives to processed dog food.” But when I share a pack of smokes with my dog, that’s not innovative enrichment and bonding it becomes “abusive” and “how does your dog drag the smoke and exhale so well???”

I’m just a girl

I saw mommy frotting Santa

Toxic yuri 🩷

Rarity: it’s called a Truke darling. Good heavens don’t tell me you don’t know what a Truke is? Applejack: a tru..what now? Rarity: a Truke, it stands for truth nuke. All the ponies who are anypony are saying it. You really should start learning some fashionable language darling.

Cis woman ally who wears the strap so she can frot with me.

Really disappointed that smiling friends took a stance in the Wawa vs sheetz debate. Keep your politics out of my entertainment!

my wife keeps asking why i wont do political assassination for her like that one guy to charlie kirk for his girlfriend.

I became a father in this dmv.

take a bite out of you #fnaf2

Reminder to not build idols Those who have clout are not prophets, they are people who as complex as you and capable of doing bad things. You should be building a community you can trust rather than seeking an oracle who turns out to be low key shitty months later.

I love my girlfriend and wife 🖤🖤🖤

Average tweet: illegals are transing your kids Average skeet: why the princess and knight dating in this book is a problematic power dynamic 🧵 Average Ancient Egyptian Tablet: 𓇋𓋴 𓂋𓄿 𓏏𓉔𓅂 𓋴𓅲𓈖 𓎼𓅱𓂧 𓄿𓎼𓊪 𓅱𓂋 𓉔𓋴𓏏𓋴

Too many of you trannies (derogatory) need cis friends. Im begging you to go outside and live in your body and not your mind.

Waiting 30 minutes for tater tots just for a drag queen to immediately drop her tip directly into it is actually hysterical. I love drag shows now.

We did 2 years ago

Date idea: we buy monster high dolls and make them scissor. 🩷

Carmilla save me!

I drove 3 hours so my wife could play a tamagorchi sexing game

Weed makes you thirsty because when you smoke the fish in your stomach get hungry and eat all the water. They start thrashing around and that’s what heart palpitations are.

Baby, we just a couple o'chickens crossing this road together 🖤

There's a little shrimp in my head that keeps telling me to make my stories more cruel. I love that little guy.

How did they know???

women

Nobody else is concerned about this, but I am back on my theory that the reason Ragatha didn't get Jax's breaking bad reference is because she joined the circus pre-2008.

· Lefty · #fnaf

I dont drink water, I hydrate my thralls and then suck their blood dry to stay in good health

Polyamory hierarchy, not in a primary/secondary way, but a hot vampire and her pretty little blood thralls way.

Thatta girl! 🩷

A first for her.

The squeak is coming from inside the mouse

They put my mans in a sprinkle jar. (￣ー￣)

I was trying to find a gif of the spinosaurus nuzzling the fuselage with its snout but I got this instead

Tgirl who gives you hrt like its communion

this discord convo is recorded for quality assurance

I found out

Milf horse girl who pisses in my mouth so I get my estrogen dose