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@mikeschmike.bsky.social
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Tim Onion
2 days ago
SNAP benefits expire in one week.
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Juno Rylee Schultz
17 days ago
David Simon, creator of âThe Wireâ, being interviewed by Ari Shapiro (NPR)
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Onion as fuck
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23 days ago
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Whatâs the over/under on Schumer and Jeffries wearing Tylenol pins to work tomorrow?
about 1 month ago
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Effin' Birds
about 1 month ago
can the AI generate him rolling over in his grave
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Dave Itzkoff
about 1 month ago
it was literally in a bag
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/20/u...
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The Democratic Party needs to be abandoned, much like how it has abandoned those who were loyal to it but werenât billionaires or Israel. When Tucker Carlson has a better take than anyone in dem leadership, itâs time for a fundamental change.
about 1 month ago
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Tim Onion
about 1 month ago
These are right-wing terror events I covered just from 2017 to 2023. It's not even close to comprehensive. The government's trying to erase this history.
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M Meerkat
about 1 month ago
Just like when Chump said The Epstein Files were a Democratic Hoax.......
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CHOAM Nomsky (frightening)
about 1 month ago
[the shooter is unidentified] the left must be purged with the sword [the shooter is, again, a compulsive masturbator who loved Hitler] I believe it was pascal who said that the heart has reasons that reason may not know
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about 1 month ago
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Paul Eric Scannell
about 2 months ago
đźđ± Israel: "We don't want warâ â KiIIed the Gaza negotiator â KiIIed the negotiatorâs family â KiIIed the Iranian negotiators â Bombed the Qatar negotiatiors â Bombed the capital of Iran â Bombed the capital of Lebanon â Invaded Lebanon â Invaded Syria They want peace đ€Ą
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Jon Cooper
about 2 months ago
I despise Charlie Kirk and every hateful thing he stands for, but todayâs shooting was truly horrific. Violence is NEVER the answer.
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Molly Knight
about 2 months ago
what a humiliating way for don jr. to find out his dad sends birthday cards.
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The Onion
about 2 months ago
RFK Jr. Warns Mistress That Condoms Cause Autism
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RFK Jr. Warns Mistress That Condoms Cause Autism
WASHINGTONâClaiming that 100% of users experienced dangerous side effects as a result of wearing the contraceptive device, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reportedly paused an amorous moment Thursday to issue a...
https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-warns-mistress-that-condoms-cause-autism/
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Grindr Mike really doesnât want to go to heaven.
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about 2 months ago
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The Onion
about 2 months ago
Mourners Unaware They Burying Knockoff Giorgio Armani
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Remember when Trump called this guyâs wife ugly and he didnât do anything?
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about 2 months ago
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As someone who has never been to a convention or thought about making/selling art, Iâm glad to see theyâre not letting any AI slop go unchecked.
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about 2 months ago
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Concepts of a spine
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about 2 months ago
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Truth Social(ist)
2 months ago
Pat Robertson introducing James Dobson to hell..
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2 months ago
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Ilhan Omar
3 months ago
JD Vance and other pedophile protection party officials are holding an emergency meeting tonight over their strategy on the Epstein files. This cover-up is a disgrace to Epsteinâs victims. The American people deserve transparency and accountability. Release the Epstein files.
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Maytera Marble
3 months ago
So youâre telling me the Wizard of Oz presented itself as a towering force of overwhelming technology, only to be unmasked as just some guy, off-screen?
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Elizabeth Spiers
3 months ago
Me three months ago:
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Mostly shot in the head. Fuck Israel.
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3 months ago
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Jason Bailey
3 months ago
"The man who is not yet mayor is to blame for a shooting that happened under the watch of an ex-cop mayor who's thrown every available dollar at the NYPD," insists sex pest
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The three dudes that own the news in this country got their tax cuts. The useful idiot they put in charge to achieve this is no longer useful. The tide turns.
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3 months ago
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Tim Onion
3 months ago
Bribes work!
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FCC Approves Paramount-Skydance Deal After Skydanceâs CBS Ombudsman, Anti-DEI Pledges
The FCC approved the transfer of CBS licenses to Skydance's ownership group, paving the way to the merger of Skydance and Paramount.
https://variety.com/2025/tv/news/fcc-approves-paramount-skydance-merger-deal-conditions-1236459974/
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Razzball
3 months ago
[staring at my bloodhound gang CD of Hooray for Boobies, shaking my head] You ruined us.
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Tim Onion
3 months ago
Colbert will be all right, maybe even better off. The world's his oyster and I'm sure MSNBC and Netflix will come calling. He could stand up the biggest late night YouTube channel in days. But they are just torching the Late Show, an institution, solely to appease a dictator. And that fucking sucks.
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The Onion
3 months ago
Trump Invites Jeffrey Epstein On Stage To Explain There No Conspiracy
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Trump Invites Jeffrey Epstein On Stage To Explain There No Conspiracy
WASHINGTONâDuring a speech Friday in which he sought to convince MAGA supporters that his administration did not withhold any important information from its partial release of âthe Epstein filesâ in F...
https://theonion.com/trump-invites-jeffrey-epstein-on-stage-to-explain-there-no-conspiracy/
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JustinđŠ©Boldaji
3 months ago
This is genuinely the news every day
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Drew Harwell
3 months ago
Bravo to the
@miamiherald.com
for publishing this list in full
www.miamiherald.com/news/local/i...
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Is your family member or client at Alligator Alcatraz? We obtained a list
The Trump and DeSantis administrations have refused to release a roster of detainees, none of whom seem to appear in ICEâs online database.
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/immigration/article310541770.html
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Dr. Jack Brown
4 months ago
I stand with Rosie O'Donnell.
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The Onion
3 months ago
Pam Bondi: âWhat Is The DOJ Hiding?â
theonion.com/pam-bon...
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Pam Bondi: âWhat Is The DOJ Hiding?â
WASHINGTONâCasting doubts on the agencyâs recently released review of the late financier and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi held a press conference Wednesday to ask what the Department of Justice was hiding. âThe departmentâs memo claims there was no client list and Epstein died by suicideâthatâs very suspicious, donât you think?â [âŠ]
https://theonion.com/pam-bondi-what-is-the-doj-hiding/
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Thor Benson
4 months ago
Dan Bongino has important work to get back to
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This will only get worse
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4 months ago
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whet moser
4 months ago
whenever i see grok screenshots i remember how it's running on methane-gas generators in a black neighborhood in memphis
www.politico.com/news/2025/05...
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'How come I canât breathe?': Musk's data company draws a backlash in Memphis
The companyâs turbines â enough to power 280,000 homes â run without emission controls in an area that leads Tennessee in asthma hospitalizations.
https://www.politico.com/news/2025/05/06/elon-musk-xai-memphis-gas-turbines-air-pollution-permits-00317582
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You should see Cuellarâs abysmal voting record since, too.
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4 months ago
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PBS News
4 months ago
Gilbert the golden retriever was home with Democratic leader and Minnesota state Rep. Melissa Hortman and her husband when a gunman fatally shot the couple and mortally wounded their beloved dog. He was with them again Friday when the Hortmans lay in state at the Capitol in St. Paul.
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Hortmans' beloved dog Gilbert lay in state with slain Minnesota lawmaker and her spouse
Gilbert the golden retriever was home with Democratic leader and Minnesota state Rep. Melissa Hortman and her husband when a gunman fatally shot the couple and mortally wounded their beloved dog. AndâŠ
https://buff.ly/MtHkyws
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We need this kind of solidarity. Who among the elites can get together? It canât just be Pritzker every time.
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4 months ago
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The Onion
4 months ago
Bezos Wedding Guests Given Monogrammed Plastic Bottles To Urinate In During Ceremony
theonion.com/bezos-w...
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Zohran Kwame Mamdani
4 months ago
In the words of Nelson Mandela: it always seems impossible until itâs done. My friends, it is done. And you are the ones who did it. I am honored to be your Democratic nominee for the Mayor of New York City.
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Weâre taking the party back from the corrupt old guard. One god damn election at a time.
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4 months ago
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Rex Huppke
4 months ago
Pretty sure America just went to war because nobody liked Donald Trump's military parade.
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That pandemic level urge to bake is hitting hard. Anyone want a black and white cookie?
add a skeleton here at some point
4 months ago
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Garrett M. Graff
4 months ago
ICE in just a few weeks has transformed itself into the closest thing that the US has ever had to a âsecret police,â with more seemingly culturally in common with the Klan nightriders of Reconstruction than their federal agency brethren like the FBI or ATF.
www.doomsdayscenario.co/p/ice-believ...
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ICE believes it will never face accountability again
The Trump administration is letting an unaccountable secret police form at the heart of our democracy.
https://www.doomsdayscenario.co/p/ice-believes-it-will-never-face-accountability-again
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Anonymous
4 months ago
Translation on Trump's position on Iran: "based on the fact Putin threatened me and Israel also threatened me, and they both have my Epstein blackmail records I'm going to chicken out and pray this blows over in two weeks."
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