Folks! We are playing 3 shows in Brooklyn next weekend-Thursday, Friday and Saturday. All very different sets. Join us. www.TMBG.com (Update: Saturday is sold out now) Then on to Boston!

if anyone asks for my cause of death just tell them i saw pedro pascal being mauled by puppies

"synchronize Swatches"

waiting for sting at wolftrap

bad back safe ways to sit down

When you wake up on the wrong side of the bed.... cuz it's World Goth Day! 🖤 🦇 🌒 @paulandstorm.bsky.social #worldgothday #goth #jococruise

the fuck you did, buddy

Shigeru Miyamoto has just confirmed there is exactly one pair more powerful than Mario & Luigi, and it's not who you think.

quote with a fictional band that is not spinal tap

weird how a man who has never pumped his own has doesn't even think about the current price

RIP Mark Furhman, the last cop in American history to get in trouble for being racist

is Adam Scott working for CBS news, now?

If I still posted on Twitter I'd explain why there are no cop cats

Grogu With Hyacinths

WAITRESS: Welcome to I Love The 90s Grill and Bar! What can I getcha? KID: I want the Macarena And Cheese! WAITRESS: For you, ma’am? MOM: The…Rodney King Crab? WAITRESS: And you, sir? DAD: The eggs. WAITRESS: You have to say it. DAD: *sigh* Jesus Christ. Okay. I’ll take the Sarajevos Rancheros

1-877-KARS-4-KIDS

so, the big trump/xi meeting is going well, I take it?

hey kids, Mike "Know Nothing" Johnson is back!

Fisher Stevens used the same system to prepare for Short Circuit

Happy Mother's Day

I guess we’re doing this again?

I know she is in that moldy-ass house right now crying screaming throwing up ripping her hair out about this and I'm really enjoying imagining it

definitely not a cult

They suspended @cara.city for this!!! Dogshit website run by absolute babies. It is a Serious Violation to point out that the head of trust and safety’s pants fell down and everyone saw his little red ass and laughed

One box of idiot please

Stop your doomscrolling and look at this otter

this is like Homer trying to make his monkey's paw wish

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

thanks, #criterion

Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike

So, friends: I promised I'd tell the story. Now I shall. Let a (former) psych nurse tell you the true (gods help us) story of a night in a big-time NYC emergency room: and the arrival of The Man With The Bloomingdales Bag. (1/n)

Men be like "wow, I talk to this object just like I talk to human women" and conclude the object must therefore be human, and not that they treat women like objects

this is how you can tell that he has lived his entire life with at least as much, if not more, of the money he would ever need

wait, we already have a fucking ballroom?!

carnitas #foodsky

on the one hand, I get it: previous impeachments w/o senate conviction did nothing, so why bother? on the other hand: SHUT. UP. all you're going to do is drive off potential dem voters in the mid-terms because they think you're ineffective and you're just proving them right

donald trump needs his 30 ft tall mechanical spider and he needs it now

Update: It appears they don’t like it.

funny how it's SUCH a problem, and yet he did nothing about it during his first term

bluesky wtf there are CATS that i'm NOT SEEING fix this immediately!

really looking forward to the afternoon of 20 january 2029, when suddenly every republican is going to re-discover their hatred of the federal government "picking winners"

we've noticed and i'm glad he's getting help

is there a term for that mood swing from high panic to absolute relief that happens when you see a beloved celebrity trending and then you find out it's only for innocuous reasons? as in: I just saw that tim curry is trending, but it's because today is his birthday

this guy tests “ai” chatbots and he comes up with the funniest ways to demonstrate they suck ass & can’t be trusted a good resource to send to your bot-pilled friends

MULDER: The Director of the FBI wants us to investigate a disease where he wakes up with headache, upset stomach and a wet bed SCULLY: Mulder, I think he's just hung over MULDER: Sounds like you haven't heard of a little thing called the Tijuana Blues

@wkamaubell.bsky.social at the strathmore a fantastic evening of comedy

clip-and-save, folks