I will never "go live". my life will be accessible to this accurséd app in fragments only

Suck it Hemingway

using a tiny child as bait to execute a detention is just so profoundly and gleefully evil

the intense concentration and enjoyment of a baby eating a piece of frozen banana>>>>>

Albanese: *wobbles, significantly* the Coalition: hold our beer

do online retailers actually pay attention to who unchecks the "yes please add me to your mailing list" box or is it just there for decoration

dressed like a crunchy byron bay mum to take my kid and my mum to storytime at the library and after I dropped mum home she gave me a big hug and said "you look so beautiful" hahaha

I've got a work mate who's one of those types who loves to get a rise out of people. caught up recently and when I complained about how it actually rules to be off looking after my kid instead of going into the office he puts on this arch voice and goes "look at what feminism has taken from you, lj"

today has been lovely for the most part (found full linen pants on sale for like 25% of full price, The Dream) but then part of the glass screen protector on my phone shattered and embedded itself into the thumb on my dominant hand 🥲

Don’t understand the 2016 trend. It was only three years ago, surely that’s too recent to be nostalgic about

new everina maxwell... yay yay yippee etc

Yeesh. www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...

RAADS-R: we've done the maths and you are neurotypical 👍 my score, one point below the diagnostic threshold: 🙂

more like deadbert am I right

it's that time of year again (when a glass of iced water tastes like pure heavenly ambrosia)

Thought the baby was really enjoying scrambled egg for breakfast until it was time for cleanup and I realised most of it was mashed into the high chair

The Cardiff Lions do an annual Drag Rugby charity match for children’s charities and it’s as beautiful as you imagined

lrt generally a delightful interview, and also: someone who is self indulgent about the music they use but ALSO thoughtful about how it reinforces the story? incredible

I will read every interview with Heated Rivalry writer and director Jacob Tierney because his quotes are truly a reporter's dream: www.rollingstone.com/music/music-...

2026 the year I actually start doing parkrun

history's greatest called shot

I know they're cheaper but I think the psychic damage sustained by entering a Chemist's Warehouse imposes a cost more than equal to the money saved

bit bloody hot

cool website. delete your fucking account already

jfc it's grim out there isn't it

sometimes your baby does a tiny little sigh in their sleep and you feel like your heart is going to liquefy and explode out your chest (positive)

Matt Corby looks like Lee Pace

If we lived in a just media landscape, this would now be a trilogy.

the ABC NYE coverage has a bunch of play school presenters doing a bit. including Philip quast. who's javert in the 10th anniversary recording of les mis lmao

This was a good year because I didn't have to go into the office for the majority of it. Also the baby. But mostly the office thing

Expelled! is a really clever and fun game but I feel SO dumb playing it 😩😩😩

Knives out: the upper middle class are squabbling vicious children who do not deserve their inheritance Glass onion: the new elite are the stupidest murderous cunts alive and deserve your scorn Wake up dead man: those preaching anger as salvation are leading you to death, hope and kindness matter

another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls

baby has now reached "good enough at rolling to get feet stuck between the bars of the cot but not good enough to get out again"

The comments on this are all about how sweet it is and I feel insane. Using AI to make fake memories of your grandma with dementia and telling her they happened and then filming her reaction

I worked on a big piece of litigation once and during discovery we found the other side had redacted the commercial in confidence portions of their pdfs by editing black boxes over them, but then they'd saved the files in an editable format so we could just move the black boxes and read the text

lrt WOW!! wow!! I knew it was bad but that's *bad* bad

for everyone confused as to what the fuck is going on right now:

Christmas hasn't been the same since i noticed Santa has the same handwriting as my wife

apparently having a kid has permanently set my feelings dial at 11. televised Christmas carols got me doing the throaty emotional strangling tears voice

driving home from my mum's on christmas eve and the usual radio station was playing dance so we switched to commercial hits - bad - so we switched to Old Commercial Hits

"Nobody seems to have the cilantro gene in Mexico" yeah because they genetically selected away from it. Because it's a weakness

"Jake Paul" sounds like two fifths of a boy band

I enjoy reading the Guardian's cricket liveblog bc it's written by a wryly glum Englishman

took a little chunk out of my finger while chopping veges yesterday night. I've been slowly bleeding for 16 hours. anticoagulants, baby

ok dispatch is fun

"A Pakistani man living in Australia has spoken of his “deep trauma” and said his life had become a “nightmare” after his photo was widely circulated on social media falsely labelling him as one of the shooters in the Bondi beach terror attack" www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...

it's cool* how whenever something completely fucked happens now there's also a subsequent period where a bunch of bad actors disseminate evil disinformation about it in order to stoke social division *horrible