Just finished my umpteenth rewatch of the season 13 holiday episode of Bob’s Burgers, which is one of the best ever episodes and features one of the best voice cameos ever from one of the best poets ever - Saeed Jones! - @theferocity.bsky.social

Not sure what kind of visibility I have on this site, but can anyone smarter than me explain this phenomenon? I can’t understand it.

Doctor I trust more than RFk Jr

My boyfriend and I made a list of people we could have sex with if we ever got the chance. He chose Margot Robbie, Charlize Theron, and Ana de Armas. I picked his younger brother, my therapist, and the neighbor who waves at me shirtless.

Charlie Kirk isn't even charge of his hairline. We shan't be listening to him about anything.

On this Chairteenth, we celebrate the good folks of Montgomery, especially our guy AquaMayne. Special shout out to the folks who, within 72 hours, recreated this in their apartment complex. A COMMUNITY!! 💀

Every blue-haired they/them liberal arts grad living in NYC is tougher than this sad little bitch.

"It's ok, honey. The Sears Tower experiencing a blackout won't hurt you!" The Sears Tower experiencing a blackout:

The Blackbird of Annoyance has replaced the Bluebird of Happiness in my life

“No, sweetie, there’s no plan to fix anything because the plan is to destroy everything.”

The ones where you can tell they got a little bit of that angel on them >>>>

Tell me your pet’s name with a GIF

I just wanna get drunk and eat shit off the grill for 3 days with my titties out.

bulge fleck schwump splosh flack a flack plip blup bloop bloop splash plip plop plip plop blllggghh swoosh whargharble shuhplip plop plip plop plop pitter bulge blup bub bloop sploosh flack a flack splish bloop bloop burble gurgle whargharble flush plip

They were airlifted out just before their country club desegregated.

It’s Friday night—time to swap stress for gin and sin.

So sick of these dipshits not knowing the difference between Medicaid and cash assistance benefits.

Anxiety is ridiculous because sometimes “I’m not going to accomplish anything meaningful before I die” and “that dog’s ear is inside out and nobody’s doing anything about it” feel the same

On top of everything else, I am fed up with Trump officials telling people that we should be “grateful.” YOU MUSTY-CROTCHED DEMONS CAN SIT ON MY GIRTHY INGRATITUDE AND SPIN.

For a minute I really thought this was a statement on our current political situation.

Not to be conspiratorial or anything, but Chuck Schumer’s sudden change of heart reminds me of Frankie Pentangeli after seeing his brother in Godfather II - iykyk

Was it something he said? Oh wait …

We only rate dogs. This is a very cuddly croissant. We understand the confusion between puppies and pastries, but please only send dogs. Thank you... 12/10

Final word on substack today: keep posting about how awful they are because a lot of people really have no idea. I feel like I post about it every day and I always get people who asked me why substack is a problem. They don't know. We gotta tell 'em.

ski instructor said the yeti turds I found are moose droppings. am I supposed to be comforted by the fact the yeti is riding a goddamn moose

I’m watching a kid on my block build a snowman and the lack of innovation is staggering.

Many commentators say that vigilante groups are never the answer. But they clearly don't know about the masked Ecuadorian trio named “Acción Ortográfica Quito,” who roam the streets at night with a singular purpose: to correct all the spelling and grammar mistakes they find in graffiti.

‘I stand by my original statement: we ARE never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy.’