Do you think Andy Samberg is irritated that this is the still Netflix uses for when you're picking an episode?

RIP Katy Perry

Every New Yorker staffer who writes something about AI + college should be required to run a college seminar. Just you and 15 Zoomers--welcome to the octagon, Lord Fauntleroy

I will never understand why people bring, like, baby babies to Disney World. Like, why is your piping fresh baby baking in the Florida sun next to a thousand other people??

It took a panic attack from the mind of Satan himself to get my ass in gear, but I'm so happy it's been over a year since I quit smoking weed 😊

they got Luda doing One A Day ads 😭

Charlotte 😭 and she was so equanimous about it

Having GERD is fun because your spouse might call to ask if you want chicken fried rice from a place you've never been, but you can't get it because it's [spooky voice] JUST TOO RISKY

I have never heard an airport announcement without thinking, "We both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion!"

My son was telling me they got to paint a pony today at school and I was like ????? I thought he was joking. I guess not. Lol. What an odd activity.

People are hunting for tickets to the local high school's graduation like the Beatles are reuniting for one night only

Weird because that's one of our institutional learning objectives and my students study local issues and then do related service-learning projects that emphasize exactly this 🤷‍♀️

Leaving for vacation tomorrow, so of course I have some bizarre headache situation happening, along with some horribly swollen lymph nodes at the back of my neck and out of control tinnitus. Also I'm probably gonna get my period. Fml.

This is very sexual and not nudity. Great job, labeler!!!

You ever think about this picture of Paul Rudd? Cuz I do

Yaaayy I don't have to make any more school lunches until August

they put your man in the newspaper again www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-n...

This is my new Nutty Putty horror fixation www.cnn.com/2026/05/17/a...

This took sooo long, but I loved it

I love it when health influencers make posts like, "This protein-packed breakfast is so good, I had to share!!!" accompanied by a picture of what looks like the most disgusting slop you've ever seen. It cracks me up.

Rousey vs. Carano: The Puttana Punchout. May they both somehow lose.

Is the Pope still weak on open container laws or whatever the fuck they were saying

An 84-year-old lady graduated from my college today, and the entire crowd gave her a huge standing ovation when she crossed the stage. It was so sweet 😭

aquarius being an air sign not a water sign i call bullshit

I just read that tabloids in Europe and South America used to call Tom Brady "Giselo" and I can't stop laughing about it

His pictures always feel like he's still in his MySpace era

One of my daughter's friends thought I was 30 today

Even more annoyed with Facebook than usual because I'm trying to sell my little motorcycle so it asked if I wanted Marketplace notifications turned on, but every notification I get is for some bullshit instead of my listing

It feels like a chilly autumn night tonight and I LOVE it

I don't want to review my quarantined emails. I want a soft rain to wash away my burdens and make me new again.

Happy Mother's Day to all my fellow short queens 😆

It's Mother's Day and I refuse to read about balls!!!

Sister had an urgent angiogram this morning and there were no blockages--everything looked good! I'm so incredibly relieved. Can I get a hell yeah in the chat??

I guess those videos of marathoners crawling or being hauled over the finish line are supposed to be inspiring or something, but all I can think is RHABDO 😩😩

A teacher at my daughter's school that she hated either left her job or was fired and I'm way too nosy to not know what happened!!!

Really crazy for Amazon to roll out its AI doctor thing with a nursing mom showing her achy boob to it. Hell no.

ISTG The Devil Wears Prada 2 soundtrack showed up in my Spotify library by itself. Is this a U2-type shenanigan?

Had the parents vs. kids scholastic bowl match today and crushed them kids into a fine powder, as is right and just

May 6's Connections is Satanic

Oh good I've had a nasty headache since last night and had weird scalp pain the night before that and I just found a tick on me 😭😩😭😩

If they can make a pill to keep fleas and ticks off my dog why can't they make a pill to keep mosquitos and ticks off me? HUH?

For some reason this made me realize that dudes must have to plan their scruff. Like, "Hmm, the Gala is in one month, and I'm gonna want Level Two scruff, so I need to shave at noon on the 1st."

Omg the number of AI-generated term papers I'm grading is out of CONTROL 😭 and they are all garbo of course

Uh oh I have once again become obsessed with a house for sale that I am not in a position to buy

I randomly watched The Green Book yesterday and didn't realize that A) Viggo Mortensen is in it and B) he really gabagools it up

Have any of you with big breasts tried a Shapermint bra? Are they any good?

I showed my husband a video of the Kentucky Derby trainer who won today screaming, "Come on, José!" over and over, cheering on the jockey, and then I said I heard his brother came in second. My husband replied, "The horse's brother?" And then I laughed until I cried.

I have never known someone who is in and out of the ER and hospital as much as my stepdad. I feel so bad for him. It's a miracle he's still alive, but man, he is having such a rough walk on the last part of his journey here.

Betty Spaghetti