Yay another tornado warning, I would like a break please!!!

Mental health check: Feeling guilty about something I said to someone in a dream

You know how bra advertisements often show women hooking them from the back? Does anyone actually do this??

THAT'S WHAT I CALL TELEVISION 😭😭😭

I hope on the season finale of The Pitt they finally reveal the pit. My guess is it's under the nurses station.

Does anyone else read the Agent Pendergast series? This one is a banger!

WHY ISN’T HE DEAD YET??!?? WHATS TAKING SO LONG???

I organized all the notes on my phone yesterday. I feel like a brand-new person.

Going to sleep with a gentle thunderstorm overhead? Don't mind if I do.

I like how the Cubs do spirit fingies after they get a hit

"Trust Me: The False Prophet" on Netflix is another great cult documentary that will have you admiring badass women. You also won't believe the absolute chud in charge. Recommend.

Hmm it seems like eating and drinking stuff I knew would bother my stomach is bothering my stomach. Who could have predicted such an outcome?

Bruh JD is SUCH a fake-ass Catholic. He probably never even tortured himself over what he should say in Confession 🙄

I haven't had a cigarette in 17 years, but for some reason the urge is STRONG lately

the Artemis crew took photography classes so they could take the best photos possible up there 😭

If your story looks like this please seek help

I used to think the call of mourning doves was owls, and now that I know the difference, I'm realizing I must've thought my neighborhoods were chock-full of owls

I am free to help any of the astronauts out of their suits :)

And now the guys left on the front porch are set gently adrift at sea as a sacrifice to the moon goddess

The helicopter hoisting just seems excessive after a space journey but what do I know

It's fun that they're building a bouncy house for them

I'm moonscrolling

I love that they did a whole successful space flight and now they're checking if the astronauts are pushing the buttons on the radio as it's not working

Yayyyyy 😭😭😭

I AM A WRECK

Shiiiit I've blacked out for much longer than six minutes and no one was impressed

"Them: Your burn is within limits." Me: "FUCK YEAH"

"Next stop Earth" 😭

My interpretation is that these people may not be fighting, but simply Italian

A 6th grader at my daughter's school keeps fainting and injuring herself. Yesterday, the ambulance had to get her from school when it happened again. My daughter said the fainter drinks these every day, up to 6 of them (!!!)

There was a question at Scholastic Bowl tonight about the word "they" and what part of the sentence it was (the subject), and someone behind me started saying shit about "they/them" and "LGBT shit." You simply cannot get stupider than MAGA. Brains below empty. (And yes I started beef with her.)

I've been teaching since 2005 and today was one of the weirdest days I've had by far. Something is in the air and I don't like it.

Anyone else keep looking up at the sky/moon and thinking, "Holy shit, there's people up there!!!"

High of 71°, chance of snow 15%

Did anyone else see the video of the school bus that narrowly missed getting smoked by a train? I will drive to Florida and beat that driver's ass myself!!!

Well. That's a memorable foul catch. LMAO.

All I do is cry over astronauts these days! This is so unbelievably sweet 😭 www.tiktok.com/t/ZTkB7FGM3/

JESUS NAOMI STOP EMBARRASSING US (English majors) FOR ONCE

do you know how mad I would be if I was ON (near) THE MOON and still had to fucking hear his voice???

Am I the only one who didn't know that Sia has a son named Somersault Wonder

You could wear pointed 1st amendment pins OR you could

I absolutely love how when the Artemis crew goes live or sends a video there's always the one dude posted up sideways

My mother-in-law showed up 30 minutes early again for a party at my house LORD give me strength

Start of the semester / end of the semester

I hit my move goal for the 1,000th time today 😎

I think it would be poetic if Earthside Satan died on Easter. What saint do I pray to about that.

Jean-Paul! The electricity went out!!!

This quote from Apollo 14 astronaut Edgar Mitchell has been in my head the last few days