“I hear that Laurel Canyon is full of famous stars / but I hate them worse than lepers / and I’ll kill them in their cars” Me, an idiot: Neil Young was so sigma for this

November 1 holiday season begins

Why hasn’t anyone made a good punk song about Gavin Newsom. Who will update California Uber Alles for the unfolding technofascist utopia

Logging on

How I look when I read your posts

You have been blessed with the Carlsbad Caverns cave titty.

bro did you just challenge portland to express oppositional defiance in competitively creative ways bro

I've been sexting with my computer for years now and lemme tell ya, all the booping and beeping sounds she makes drives me nuts

David Simon, creator of ‘The Wire’, being interviewed by Ari Shapiro (NPR)

I don’t like horses but I do like men who remind me of horses

America really entering its “hell is empty and all the devils are here” era

thrilled to be in a DANIEL DOC with my beloved @spookymeatball.bsky.social to answer @danielspielberger.bsky.social's burning questions about our steamy short stories! 📚

I’m filmpilled. I’m moviemaxing

Doing a bump of truffle salt straight from the bag >>>>

She’s real and she’s my girlfriend

Would love to see all the big hearted Liberals who took up arms to defend a wealthy celebrity’s talk show give a little of that energy to the trans people and undocumented people whose lives are literally at stake

“i don’t read fiction” damn sorry about your flaccid imagination

Christian Girl Autumn is canceled…it’s time for Fuck Fascists Fall

So funny that my body violently rejects all non-train forms of transportation. Victorian ass proprioception

It's Baby Safety Month.

Instead of sports more bars should play old episodes of ER

All Italians are descended from this

that's what I look like inside too

this is where I post from

fatal attraction to aloof older brother types with niche and off putting interests who absolutely refuse to text me back

a beautiful story about being online

The people dominating our political landscape, culture, and economy are just so stupid and full of shit it's almost impossible to describe

Huge W for me: work cafeteria just started stocking Ito En teas

Men fought and died on the beaches of Normandy so their grandsons would be free... to be this.

If you see a large penis in renaissance art, it means the artist thought they were a moron.

Conceptual art piece where I go through the complete set of Harry Potter books and change Harry’s pronouns to ze/zir

Someone should invent a robot with big naturals

free my beautiful boys what is their crime

Sharks I’m asking for just 500 million for my teleportation potion

has anyone noticed this

Mom wished me happy birthday yesterday and said “You’ve grown into such a beautiful woman…or they/them.” She’s learning 🥲

Raw dogging the urgent care waiting room. no magazine no phone just human suffering and stomp clap pop songs

Seems like everyone has forgotten about going “goblin mode.” Well not me. Cut me, a goblin bleeds. Fake fans gtfo

Sick of everything being Orwellian or Kafkaesque. I demand more Scarrylous situations, where animals drive vehicles and run small businesses.

How I relish being a fat little feral freak in a city of slender bores

did some more book design, this time in collaboration with author & illustrator mads gobbo @spookymeatball.bsky.social for their collaborative story collection with @milesklee.bsky.social double--negative.com/002-double-b...

the illos by @spookymeatball.bsky.social are soooo good also

here’s a taste of what you can expect 😈

i'm often asked when my next book is coming out and am now very pleased to be able to say: next month! it's a wicked story collection i wrote with my talented and beautiful partner @spookymeatball.bsky.social, who also penned beautiful illustrations for each tale. asterismbooks.com/product/doub...

this is what its gonna be like when i steal your dumplings dude

these guys have the right idea

Capitalism sucks. We should all be given a living wage to draw our picture books by the government (completely non-ironically saying this)

anyone here ever have sex with a cartoon? is it as great as it seems or what

throwing it back to the ER theme song