everything everywhere all at once buffet

atheists and evangelicals have one thing in common. neither of us care what the bible says

meh friday

so far the biggest change ai has brought to my daily work is that instead of telling account that forwarding the client email doesn’t count as a creative brief i’m telling them sharing the ai client meeting transcript doesn’t count as a creative brief

advertising works on you

I slept in my Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes shirt and i woke up everybody

“Keep in mind that every website you go to while on the White House network, even while using incognito mode, is cached and can be reviewed on our end,” the memo read https://theonion.com/white-house-it-guy-sends-out-reminder-memo-about-child-porn/

to be fair, i’ve ended up at several waffle houses with no recollection of how i got there

the enemy has no defense against cringe

(ludacris voice) whore-mooz

bros. re-rack your weights bros. what the fuck bros. bros, this i why they hate us

RFK Jr. Urges Americans To Grow Lots Of Pubes To Keep Bugs From Crawling In Cockhole https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-urges-americans-to-grow-lots-of-pubes-to-keep-bugs-from-crawling-in-cockhole/

best tv theme song answer too

king ranch edition conservatives are the right’s limousine liberals

No congress, no constitution, and a king. What a way to celebrate 250 years.

Never forget who you’re fighting for.

why are they called the US Olympic Men's Ice Hockey Team and not the Mighty Milkshake Ducks

i deleted twitter/x the day elon invited the nazis back. wasn’t a tough decision. never been back.

As in 🇺🇸, the median voter in 🇨🇦 works in the nontradable services sector, experiences international trade only as a consumer, & likes it because it significantly raises her standard of living. bsky.app/profile/mcop...

the FBI can report with high confidence that savannah guthrie’s mother is not in the USA hockey team’s locker room

fartsmaxxing

an uncrustable is a dumpling

"We owe conspiracy theorists a huge apology" No we fucking don't. They were talking about a secret conspiracy of gay trans Jewish lizard people. The Epstein files uncovered a conspiracy of rich, straight, white, right-wing Christian men, which these motherfuckers never even considered.

rebranding beauty routine as looksmaxxing has these aren’t dolls they’re action figures energy

reflecting on how many cracks i heard about jessie jackson from the adults in my life growing up and coming to terms once again with the fact that the caring people who raised me were also deeply racist

The interview with Talarico has been posted to YouTube: youtu.be/oiTJ7Pz_59A

FBI Announces They Have Located Savannah Guthrie

celebrating white foodways

remember when everyone just took a dump at halftime?

sports betting was cool when you needed underworld connections and kneecaps were on the line. now that any dork can do it, lamesville.

i want a sports bettors betting app where you can wager on which of your friends will lose their house first

No Kings includes Draft Kings

a lot of people who boycott corporations because of their owners shitty politics and labor practices are totally hyped for the super bowl sports is a helluva opiate

I realized that a lot of the guys who have been found in the Epstein files are probably really struggling because the guy they would have gone to for advice about being discovered in the Epstein files was JEFFREY EPSTEIN

i liked everyone involved in the smartless podcast. then i listened to the smartless podcast

i am trying not to joke about the Epstein stuff because it's so horrible but there's also this ridiculous element where it's like... discovering Dracula is real, he's taken over human society at the highest levels, he's involved in tons of evil and also he's a huge dipshit

Someone wrote the lyrics to Tyler Childers' song Long Violent History in chalk on my campus. "It's the worst that it's been since the last time it happened It's happening again right in front of our eyes There's updated footage, wild speculation Tall tales and hearsay and absolute lies"

bad bunny should do purple rain in spanish

i’ll keep going to drafthouse because it will still be the least bad cinema option. but i ain’t ordering shit. the food sucks anyway

one maddening thing, of many, is that we ran florida pete out of tx-32 and congress. then they gerrymandered us out of tx-32 and pete ran again in central tx. now pete’s back in congress saying dumb shit about texas voters from his wife’s florida condo.

dear alamo drafthouse fan who i was seated next to at send help (two thumbs way up btw). i too am mad that drafthouse will be switching to mobile phone ordering durning the feature. but the server has fuck all to do with that. don’t be a dick to them about it.

this guy was also an economic advisor to george w. bush, john mccain, and mitt romney, which helps illustrate that the rot is not just within maga but runs deep throughout the republican party

I know that there's a lot of controversy over whether or not it's worthwhile to attempt to flip Texas, which I assume will pop up again because of Rehmet's win in SD9. If you're from out of state, I wanted to point out that Rehmet's win (and any Dem win) blunts the power of billionaire Tim Dunn.

these emails seem fishy. not one mention of pizza

can’t wait for the give melania an oscar or i invade mexico news cycle

wait. wait. i’ve heard this one.

i live in dallas and the only things that don’t suck about it are because of immigrants

Can’t believe they released the Epstein files to cover up for the Melania movie.

can’t wait for the don’t be a doomer choir’s verse on arresting journalists