for once, the google AI summary is helpful.

Kash Patel locked himself in his office and his been blasting Machine Gun Kelly all morning

LAWYER: The shooter shared your post: “Bugs Bunny is a two-pump chump. I’d show Lola how to smash ‘Animal Style!’” What did you mean by that? ME: That Bugs Bunny cums fast. LAWYER: He lacks sexual prowess? ME: Yes. LAWYER: Did you consider that posting something this inflammatory might be dangerous?

if you ask someone for advice in 2026, they're probably gonna say "you gotta show up," which is dumdum-speak for, "try." so that's what you should do.

Imagine if ChrisChan had been on the shuttle

Got roughed up by Wesley Bell's goons for being in an interracial relationship. The left me at the Schnucks on Grand dressed like a Lime Bike.

Full bush hoochie Daddy shorts

I think it would be really beautiful to be the first man to get divorced on the moon.

Threatening Jack White with a gun and making him smoke K2 with me and my cousins until he acts right.

great size. look thick. solid. tight. keep us all posted on your continued progress with any new progress pics or vid clips. show us what you got man. wanna see how freakin' huge, solid, thick and tight you can get. thanks for the motivation.

Rodney Moore: I'm using the cat brush.

Chevron telling their crew to get on deck and start cranking hog, sucking and feeling on each other, blasting Ladytron, to make it too weird for the Iranian navy to interact with them.

Israel is the biggest threat to the world, and doubly so with Barnacle Jim's hole being allowed to heal.

Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him

Hate a SNL skit where everyone is giggling like it's an CMFM scene.

IMO its not a lack of hobbies thats the problem, its that every hobby is now a GIG. That thing you do for fun? Well monetize it, run a tiktok, take commissions, get that 2nd or 3rd source of income going on top of your 9-5. The things that we once did for joy are now part of our survival

White Boys after watching Dune one time.

The Hasan Piker thing feels like a retread of the Chapo/Cum Town thing a decade ago where the DNC and centrists could not understand why they lost and instead of looking inward they blame their loudest critics to the left of them.

This Sammy Sosa Fleshlight smells like bubblegum. Oh well.

Jean-Paul Sartre: Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does. It is up to you to give life a meaning. Me, half paying attention to whatever he’s going on about:

One seamanpenjs to rule them all

This week: a 2019 FDA advisory to not buy Big Penis, the Quittr app exposing peoples' jackoff habits, A vaginal kungfu artist beat up a census worker, RIP to Chuck Norris/Vin Diesel Facts and we play a collectible card game with Wikipedia articles 48minutesofdogsbarking.com

AI Emma Magnolia prepping ground forces for certain death in Iran like the video from Battle Royale.

I think it's really funny dating a respectable person that is an adult in ways I will never be and we have to act in public like I'm not what happens when you dip a Big Lebowski poster in the TMNT ooze.

Getting cracked in the train joes parking lot wiping up the mess with my weird all ass shift shirt

Imagine finding out there is in Iranian Cum Town

Accepting of trans people is right in the same way that shunning a dallas cowboys fan is right

The Frogs > Ween

Jacking off.

Swans Guitar Hero DLC

ME: Why did Dracula go to the baseball game? ME: Because he wanted to see the bats. 🙂 WARDEN: Maybe the worst choice of last words I've ever heard. Ok, he's ready. Throw the switch. ME: (does not die no matter how high they crank the voltage, but does feel exponentially increasing amount of pain)

Dry firing a g17 at the cpac Nick Shirley speech like a dog barking at the neighbors cat.

I think it would be really funny if trump tried to explain the icp mythology

Do you think God knows the exact amount of zaza in every pre roll

This cat basically wandered into my house a few weeks ago. He takes the worst smelling shits and likes to claw my furniture, but he is incredibly sweet and loves to cuddle. I guess I'll keep him.

Iran captured Barnacle Jim from Israel and are threatening to let his hole heal unless their ceasefire demands are met.

Rip Sora I will never be able to write the perfect prompt that replaces riddick with mpreg John wick

Passed my ServeSafe training for eating pussy

You ever see trailer park boys that shit is so fucking funny

Doing the One Chip Challenge while on suicide watch ama

Showing AOC my exotic fish tank and then asking her if she wants to see what happens when I give them Pepsi

When Hasan was in Cuba he told people his name was Caesar Juan Carlos and Brace had put him in a meat locker until he calmed the fuck down.

I once saw Hasan Piker at a pet store and he was asking which ferrets were the most inbred. He kept bringing up that he had a crushing fetish and the clerk seemed perfectly fine with it as he bundled up some ferrets with twine

welcome to the 75th annual gape pride festival

I did not care about the re2 remake speed running community until after Oct 7th

Before he died chuck Norris told a filthy story about how he once prowled the Folsom Street Fair as a Twink human toilet and it was such a beautiful story that it made everyone cry and jack off.

Chuck Norris was poly