Because I haven't spent enough money this week on a new "smart" toilet and a new stove, I also decided to get a LaserPecker (giggity) LP2 laser engraver so I can start burning pics of my 🍆 onto things like the cookies and breads and cakes @easer79.bsky.social bakes.

Me, whenever a new guy shows up at the gym wearing socks any color other than black:

I'm tired

Today seems like a good day to scream into the void.

Met Gala be like

Well I fucked up big time. I sent @easer79.bsky.social some recipe for chocolate sourdough. And he made the chocolate sourdough. And then about half a pound of peanut butter fell onto a thick slice of the chocolate sourdough. And throwing that away would've been a waste of food!

This is why I had to make being shirtless my personality instead.

Someone bennyhilled it 🤣🤣🤣

people in the midwestern united states:

Back day!

My pants:

I guess I'm getting another 3D printer. I also have no idea where it can possibly live here. But that's a problem for another day. The day it gets here. www.flashforge.com/products/fla...

Well, now that the sequel is about to be out, I guess it's time I get around to actually watching The Devil Wears Prada.

Monochrome Monday: Arm Day Edition

Oooooooooooooooh

The one where I wore shirts.

News used to be better

Hungry?

Me going over a speed bump too fast:

Chest day again.

not to be dramatic but I think I'm having a worse Friday than Jesus did

Freddie Mercury:

Sun's out 😎

Eli made biscotti, of which I easily ate a pound's worth, so I vowed to get in extra activity to make up. Vacuuming water out of a stairwell from someone's leaking bathtub that I found when it dumped water on me from above as I opened the door to the stairs was not exactly the activity I envisioned.

Oh no, this building's cloaking device appears to be glitching!

“I couldn’t help but wonder…could he be the anchovy to my pizza?”

The Supreme Court did not strike down conversion therapy bans today. Not nationwide. Not in Colorado. Not anywhere. Here's what actually happened in Chiles v. Salazar—and why the coverage you're seeing serves the conservative legal movement more than it serves you.

I think everything going to shit began when we stopped gathering around our TVs every Sunday night to watch videos of men getting hit in the testicles with various objects as Bob Saget narrated in funny voices.

Between the cardboard recycling and the ear hair, my 40s have been mostly spent standing over a bin with a sharp object, wondering how I got here.

"The Run," officially Omaha Mining Company, in, well, Omaha.

Best today, anyway.

She's so crazzzzzzzy! Love her!!!

Hey guys I know it's really hard to be conscious of your health right now, so please remember that after every hour muttering "wtf" while scrolling on your phone you should stand up and banshee scream for at least 5 minutes to stretch out your lower back

My third eye? Blind.

Happy Monochrome Monday #mcm

Legs and stuffs.

Ugh, the way I want to lie on the couch all day rewatching shows & eat chips & malted milk balls. But, no, I have to go to the gym to do legs & shoulders. Then I can rewatch shows & eat chips and malted milk balls all day. And then hate myself tomorrow. But that last thing is a tomorrow problem. 😁

Me to shirts.

Somethinsomethin #GoldenHour somethin

Shirtless Jay says "sup, homos (and homo-adjacents)?"

Brixley says "sup, dawg?"

Clothes? In THIS economy??? Well, yes, occasionally.

😋

"Do you take your shirt off for attention?" No, I don't put a shirt on for attention.

So many things I was going to do today. Which all went to shit when I realized I'd have to put pants on for most of them.

Only Oscar I know.