New preworkout flavour tastes like sweaty hole and not even in the fun munch down kind of way

Periodic reminder that I keep all my social media notifications off so if you message me and I don’t respond it’s not me avoiding it or if I go silent mid-conversation I swear I’m not ghosting, I actually won’t see it unless I have whatever app it is open

The only tripod you carry around the gym is because of what you've got between those legs I know that's right 🙂‍↕️

Do you guys actually carry tripods around the gym with you or what

same image

Had Five Guys on the Navy base for dinner, do with that sentence what you will

lol and primary his bitch ass too

Sometimes I ask myself damn why are you such a hater, and then I remember bc it’s fun and move on

The boys in Kelis’ yard:

Chinese hot pot consumed

Me slurping Me slurping hot pot 🤝🏽 on dick Turning my hat backwards

Crazy but flattering that 8K of you follow me for my well formed thoughts and opinions

The first people to experience COVID-19:

Seeing pics of gaggles of white gays on vacation in Mexico always tickles me in a way that I can’t explain

Seated for phở

The niche for understanding this is SO specific and yet…

What the hell twilight zone are we in that Marjorie Taylor Greene of all people is making sense about the White House gaslighting people into thinking the economy is doing well

They’re not the prettiest, but I spent the last day of my two week vacation baking cinnamon swirl blondies

Rainy day pull day ✅

Tidus when people ask where he’s from and he stops himself from saying “Zanarkand” so he doesn’t sound like a blasphemer:

How big are you? 5’5” / 165 cm 150 lbs / 68 kg

When uncut Italian oomf Venmo’s me money for drinks at the bar:

Me: sometimes I wonder what turn my life would have taken if I actually enlisted My man: you probably would’ve found yourself some hunky Navy guy Me: I DID find myself a hunky Navy guy Man:

Painting! In the Bathroom

Love when Hevy oomf’s workout volume is a strange number with a whimsical little decimal, like what plates did you use to lift 10573.2 lbs

If your sinigang isn’t so spicy and sour it makes you look like Renee Zellweger smiling it’s not spicy or sour enough

A rain storm is coming tomorrow and I along with every auntie in the checkout lines at Seafood City was buying shit to make sinigang

It’s so humid

Me after I finish working out:

Calling men who prefer uncut turtle fuckers from now on

The relief you feel when you almost follow a MAGA gay and a Barb gay but realize just in time are the same and no I will not explain

Oomf said of all the guys doing this I was the only one who gave Blastoise a slutty chain

Was recommended a news article about how Brittany Mahomes and Taylor Swift staying friends despite one clearly being a white supremacist and one is allegedly not so I reported it to Apple as hate speech

Actually I just trimmed back my guava and calamansi trees and I have three days of vacation left so if it’s okay I’m gonna go back to laying with my gooch out

The random AAVE??? 😭😭😭

Me when he’s uncut and been in the sun a little too long:

Catholic priests giving mass in Latin during the Civil Rights Movement:

I’ve been on PTO for the past week and a half and the most productive thing I’ve done in the past 10 days is give myself a second eyebrow slit

Donut glaze flakes in my happy trail who won’t me

All I know is that it wasn’t my senators who voted yes, and my congressman already announced he’d vote no

Happy boys in fleece pajama pants season if you observe

I regret to inform I’m back on my skincare bullshit

I mean in his defense it’s a very nice orchid

Get a man who looks at you lovingly and can’t stop talking about you the way my man paraded his star orchids around Trader Joe’s and made conversation about them every time someone complimented him on them while I was trying to get him to focus on what he wants to eat for dinner this week

The full moon was out late last night if you saw it 🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️

Drop your favorite “me and who” pictures

lol yeah me too

Anyway I eat pulp and hairy boypussy so what up Orange Julius

Me watching this SDSU vs Hawai’i game wanting both of them to win