You all making this an opportunity to crack short top jokes STOP ASIAN HATE!!!

Me n who

Taking your dog out for a walk and realizing halfway you only have one bag left on your roll: a horror story

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR TO HER!!!

Listen as a Filipino guy who lived the ABG nightmare of the 2000s, bebot makeup suddenly becoming the new viral trend is frying me, like y’all wanna be my ates in 2004 sooo bad

Want this man to bend me every which way ...

Sometimes I wonder how that tortured bathtub girl sleeps at night knowing she got the ugly brother

Stormy Daniels testifying before Congress:

Anyway,

Obviously not every gay man, but also I’ve seen it happen enough times by enough people that this can’t possibly be normal now. You know phones sold in Japan are legally required to make shutter sounds regardless of if silent mode is on or not exactly bc of this, like oomf wouldn’t last a minute

So does every gay man sneak pictures of people they find hot in public and post them to their close friends stories or am I the only who finds that behavior idk depraved

Me to the crudely fashioned peepholes in the restroom stall dividers at Home Depot:

Waiter at the restaurant didn’t believe we’re gay much less together and he was like, “that’s cool! I kissed my homie last night” I said lol no judgment man we had each other’s dicks in each other’s mouths last night oh when I say the look on his face

I’m a service top (will grill and serve the meat at KBBQ)

Me at the Apple Store in 2007:

Valentine’s Day when you’ve been together for 12 years is just taking your dog out for a walk along the water, rewatching A Walk to Remember for the millionth time, and sending each other IG Reels while you sit next to each other on the couch with Mandy Moore in the bg before your KBBQ reservation

Fell asleep on the couch, woke up to gawk gawk 5000 and men’s hockey on TV

Those curling athletes make sliding across the ice look so effortless but I know if I were to try that I’d fall on my face and end up in the ER

Me to the In-N-Out Me when burger wrapper 🤝🏽 he’s uncut Scrapping the melted cheese off with my teeth

I’m like dropping hints that I had a really good push day

Mikhail Shaidorov after coming out of nowhere to win the men’s singles gold:

Benito and Gaga during Super Bowl rehearsals:

It’s come to my attention the locals are big mad that Guillaume Cizeron and Laurence Fournier Beaudry won gold in the ice dance over Madison Chock and Evan Bates. To which I say, now you all know how I still feel about Adelina Sotnikova’s robbery of Yuna Kim in 2014

Hey pretty boy

Been really committing to meal prepping and eating clearly the past three weeks or so and haven’t eaten any junk or fast food since. But then I remembered the 3x3 and Double Double I had last weekend and the SoCal boy in me just said In-N-Out isn’t fast food in a CA way that I can’t explain

Saur I ended up getting one of the sun on the Philippine flag (from a queer Filipino owned business!!!) but I got in silver to match my jewelry and it made me wish gold looked better on me so it’d look the way it’s meant to

Congress’ seeming inability to agree to fund DHS and risk it shutting down is frankly the most productive thing Congress has done so far this entire second term

Yeah man idk my therapist said smelling your balls after your workout would help treat my depression; sounds wild but who am i to question science?

And when I say they’re tattooed all over my body then what

I was browsing the World Wide Web for whimsical little necklace pendants for five minutes last night and now all my targeted ads are jewelry brands

And when I say this is still my favorite ponytail girl song then what

One time in college this guy messaged me afterwards that I fuck good for an Asian guy, and I kept replying with “what do you mean” every time he tried to explain until he blocked me

Reminder: It’s not a compliment if it ends with “…for an Asian” 😬

Me finally going through all my playlists and deleting anything by or featuring Ninky Minjaj

Me thinking I’m ready to start lifting but my preworkout and energy drink hit my bowel at the same time:

My sexuality is Nathan Chen backflipping straight into a butterfly spin

A second, slutty narrower chain has just hit

So @jgv.bsky.social was nice enough to offer to send me a couple of the Futbolista sticker sheets but I wasn’t expecting A SIGNED COPY OF THE BOOK HELLOOOOOOO!??! 😭😭😭😭😭

GOD STOP TAKING THE WRONG PEOPLE, THAT MAN IN THE WHITE HOUSE IS THE ONE YOU WANT!!!

Category is: muscle boy who loves slurping on his fruity little pink energy drink

What if he had brought out Borinqueña Grande to do his favorite English language song

HAPPY 27TH ANNIVERSARY FINAL FANTASY VIII!!!

Hate that Futbolista got me down bad specifically for goalkeepers now, like fuck Piña but also FUCK Piña

Consider this:

My sexuality is Keegan Messing’s Tarzan EX program

You ever need to piss so bad that when you finally let it go the groan you make borders orgasmic

People who fluently speak multiple languages or whose first language is other than English, do you keep your phone/technology in English or your primary language

My only gripe is that he didn’t bring out Utadalupe Hikaramirez

The new little quick skeet text field at the top of the feed gives late 2000s iOS 3 Twitter, like what a little dose of whimsy