BREAKING: Shabana Mahmoud has clarified that British people are allowed to protest as long as they don't protest too often, their protests aren't seen by anyone, and they are completely ineffective. Anything else is un-British and basically terrorism x

I love this. The purest essence of Kemi - incredibly wrong, bizarrely belligerent about it, and also wrong in a way where you just go “have you considered reading anything other than your Twitter feed?”

Never mind engaging with constituents, here’s the latest pearl of wisdom from possibly Britain’s most irrelevant MP.

On the morning of Keir Starmer's conference speech here's a new post on an odd psychopathology in British politics - our main parties don't like the people who vote for them - the dreaded Professional Managerial Class. And so they are acting out like a divorced dad seeking cooler voters. 1/n

Woman who lives in a castle or on a yacht rants about "real life" 🤣

“The former leader of Reform UK in Wales has pleaded guilty to bribery charges relating to making statements in favour of Russia while being an elected member of the European Parliament.” 1/

Happy LSD Day! #timmy

Nothing wrong with people asking where the £885,000 came from. Everything wrong with none of those people being HMRC, the police and the National Crime Agency.

Here's a Danny Kruger story we all seem to have forgotten. news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_poli...

What is your body language?

Better sack a few more cleaners now Jim.

Peter Kyle is entering rhyming slang territory

"for each Labour defector who has shifted to the right bloc, you would expect that at least four are liable to remain in the left bloc. Meanwhile, the bulk of Reform’s gains have come either from deserting Tories, or from habitual non-voters." www.economist.com/britain/2025... From The Economist

BREAKING Met arrest 900 violent racists for rioting and assaulting poli….. oh wait

I don’t think the gulf between the heavily online & the rest of us has ever felt wider than this morning. And the nature of the former experience has changed beyond recognition since Musk gifted Twitter to the far right. So those of us who have left the platform don’t fully grasp what’s going on.

BREAKING: Keir Starmer somehow comes up with the one thing that will make him less popular than he already is x

Nice timing that Tim Allan has been brought in as Director of Comms a week before this blows up given he was deputy comms director for Blair when Mandelson was getting into trouble the first time around.

Oxford is to get a congestion charge of £5 per car per day, starting this autumn. Charges will be levied for driving past one of six camera sites. The decision, intended to accelerate bus services and encourage cycling/walking, was taken at an Oxfordshire County Council cabinet meeting this morning.

Cue the theme tune. Lachlan inherits the crown. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

Whenever Nigel Farage is properly challenged, he reminds me of those 1920s burlesque entertainers, whose act consisted of swapping the position of fans or balloons, really fast so nobody could catch a glimpse of their fanny.

There’s already evidence that immigrants pay more into the tax system than they receive, at least in the UK: publications.parliament.uk/pa/ld200708/... It doesn’t matter because politicians won’t admit it. None of this is about what’s “good” for the country; all of it is about leveraging racism.

BTW, if you think that's bad, read THIS! bsky.app/profile/flyi...

"We will police the streets and not the tweets" says Nigel Farage, who previously demanded the police arrest a comedian for making a joke about him

What's the oddest thing to see in UK politics this morning? My contribution would be the new Leader of the Green Party, leading a choral rendition of "Lib Dem fightback", at Lib Dem conference 10 years ago.

Can we just skip straight to the Jacob Rees-Mogg and Liz Truss defections and get it over with

Well this is a good opportunity to wheel out Jonathan Gullis's Desecration of War Memorials bill. www.cornwalllive.com/news/cornwal...

Classy.

Yvette Cooper looked at current British asylum policies and thought, what we need is for *more* children to die in the English Channel

Proof that Labour has been captured by the transphobes.

Transfer Deadline Day NEWS! Angela Rayner, 2 Pads➡️3 Pads Nigel Farage, Reform➡️Germany 1939 Liz Truss, Lettuce➡️Bananas Chaka Demus, Pliers➡️Chisel Michelle Mone staying put. Daily Telegraph, Newspaper➡️Toilet Paper Rylan, ITV➡️GB News Prince Andrew, Royal Family➡️Royle Family.

Reminder: Most mass shootings are carried out by cisgender men.

I wonder if this is why they paint crosses - swastikas are too complicated 🙄

There's a story in my local paper about how the council has painted over red crosses on crossings and roundabouts... ... and the first comment is "can't fix potholes that quick" Oooookay... I'm guessing this knuckle dragger doesn't realise the difference in difficulties between the two.

Every morning I seem to gain another reason to be pleased that the Telegraph is behind a pay wall. Am on reason #21,341

Abroad and got onto wifi. Is he alive?

Bears repeating that Lowe's position on remigration is to the right of the BNP in the 2000s. And the Telegraph is giving him softball interviews.

My brain is playing that Shellac track like earworm. Yes, that one.

Dying in order to distract from the Epstein files is going a bit far even for him...

Traitors!

Remember when the BBC and its fascist then outlier Question Time gave Nick Griffin a special to itself for no good reason? It’s now as if the arseholes who programme QT run the BBC.

It’s a fact of modern life that this stuff is all turned on its head. When the going gets tough, let the weird turn pro.

The lack of short term memory in British politics at the moment is quite something. Was everyone in Number 10 in a coma for the last five years or have they genuinely forgotten how this exact same strategy worked out for the last Government?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

This is the key thing about the Voter Respecters: they neither respect, nor understand the voters.

If I were Labour Prime Minister, I would simply criticise the bloke pushing mass deportations.

Shade.