If I get raptured please make sure my Michael’s points go to my mom

The 'kin' of ‘napkin’ means "little." ‘Nap’ comes from ‘nape,' which means “tablecloth.” So a napkin is a little tablecloth. 10/10, no notes.

I think my most annoying autistic trait is having been unable to figure out for my entire life whether a request I need to make is going to be considered reasonable or unreasonable by neurotypical people and as a result of that learning to be unreasonably self sufficient and masking my needs.

This moment in history where Charlie Kirk is being transformed into Jesus is a good time to read “the liars gospel,” a realistic novelization about the life of Jesus.

If that’s your emissary of peace, white men may be even more incompetent that we previously thought

BREAKING: Incomprehensible Shouting Named Official U.S. Language

It's fine it's not like the media is helping hypernormalize all of this or anything

"I am disabled, injured and in constant pain, and incapable of physical exertion," I say. "I respectfully disagree," says someone 2,900 miles away who hasn't been in the same room with me in 25 years.

Thanks John Oliver

Women’s clothing is still constructed with the assumption that it will be put on by servants. That’s why the buttons are on the other side.

I had so many good rapture jokes the last few times it happened I don’t think I have any more

find me another Dem that wouldn't be too afraid to do this. seriously.

The further you get away from the truth of a problem, the more absurd the proposed solutions become

Amazon doesn’t let you loan your kindle books anymore.

Can we get 'go fash, lose cash' to trend...?

The further you get away from the truth of a problem, the more absurd the proposed solutions become

Women are choosing cats over men because even with multiple litter boxes it’s still less shit you have to deal with everyday.

I can’t tell you how many men I have talked to you on dating apps who cannot manage to give me a time and a place for a date

People acting like Disney being fascist is new should go back and read the company’s history. Disney himself was a Nazi-sympathizer and only got into the US propaganda film game because he was also a staunch Nationalist. Before that he literally hosted dinner parties for Nazis.

Stop trying to argue with the logic of the right. The right purposefully employs inconsistent logic to specifically in order to make people show it is above consistency. It is purely about dominance. And it also has the added benefit of getting its foes obsessed with arguing instead of fighting.

[redacted]

A lot of cis women end up regretting the breast implants and nose jobs they got as teenagers and young adults but I don’t see a moral panic about that

You want to read this story. I promise. www.democracydocket.com/analysis/how...

“I see protest as a genuine means of encouraging someone to feel the inconsistencies, the horror, of the lives we are living. Social protest is to say that we do not have to live this way." — Audre Lorde

The offer made to women in the enticement to become trad wives is the same as the offer made to citizens in the enticement to embrace authoritarianism: give up. Abandon the aspiration to self rule. It’s imprisonment recast as rest and relief.

This was the “morning in America” part.

The place for white men in progressive movements should be taking notes and getting everyone coffee.

This could be especially triggering for at least seventeen women

real issue with most of our political commentators having very little experience with the military, to say nothing of black people in the military, is that none of them clocked this for what it obviously was

he seemed ready to sacrifice all mortal interests to that one passion

White people are really pulling this shit on the twenty first night of September

What I learned from the Nicolas Cage Left Behind film: the rapture may have a significantly lower budget than you’d think.

protecting women (american style)

Makes you wonder what Jesus was really like

Everyone in power is like ‘oppressors deserve grace and the powerless deserve prison’ it’s super fucking neat

Trying to set a rule for myself where I share what I think is good journalism for every quote dunk of the New York Times because ultimately I’d rather have good journalism than call Bret Stephens a stupid asshole for the 9000th time when he’s not even an especially interesting stupid asshole

If you see Husband and Father in the descriptor you know they are itching to hit you with some bigotry

Too many of yall get excited when the worst person you know says something you agree with. Tucker Carlson, Candace Owens and others are still ALT RIGHT. They’ll say “the sky is blue” & yall be shocked they told the truth & start listening to more and that’s how the pipeline sucks you in.

[from the corner of the room] gawrsh

It's really that simple. And if a Black person posting about what you could be doing but aren't makes you feel unfairly targeted to the point that you're making a dramatic exit from solidarity you were never aligned with it in the first place.

For the Nth time, white people who are about that life are NOT camping out in Black people's mentions litigating their wounded feelings. They're out here opening purses and abetting liberation. They take no issue cause they *know for sure* we're not talking about them.

What time zone????

I might play this as my alarm every morning for the next month

Don’t let anyone tell you that fan fiction is not serious art. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...

If you are not prepared to do what the most oppressed among us would do with your power, kindly step the fuck aside sir.

Thanks for posting, Senator. It's hard to do. Too bad you have no power to do anything. Maybe next time.

After attending 25+ conferences, the best swag is now silicone and button cable organizers, silicone phone wallets, mini fans, mini lint rollers, vinyl stickers and this *exceptional* heavy-duty canvas tote with a metal zipper—perfect for protecting my stuff from disgusting airport security bins.