Sometimes I play Microsoft Having A Dumb Haircut Simulator

For years- NASCAR fans: “The sport needs drivers with personalities! All these drivers are boring!” Carson Hocevar enters. Today- NASCAR fans: “not like that!!!1!1”

If you think about it, our entire lives are like an Animorphs cover if the end result is a skeleton.

Republican men ruin everything. Hot Wings, nascar, bimbofication…

Kayden Honeycutt is an absolute bitch.

i bring a kind of “has boobs and has had boobs in her mouth” vibe to the function that cis-male straight fans of NASCAR do not like

This may be the worst NASCAR broadcast I’ve ever seen. Clumsy, awkward commentary, production missing almost all of the action, Clint Bowyer existing, etc.

Christopher Bell couldn’t do it for Charlie. Oops. Sad.

It would be nice if FOX, you know, covered the actual action and consequences of the pit stops rather than have Mike Joy casually just ramble off a bunch of significant updates as they’re cutting to commercials.

Polymarket to allow bets on the name of the new terrorist organization spawned by the war in Iran.

Stage 2 won by… an evil cabbage patch kid? The antagonist from Children of the Corn? What am I looking at rn?

“Taken out by another driver” is a funny way to say Corey Day, Mike Joy.

😑😑😑

Well, my wife called this when she was watching Ryan Preece’s sledding video the other day. #witch 🧙‍♀️

Briscoe is a… *checks notes/consults wife” bass pro bitch

okay button. best button.

America in 2025 is basically that “God Warrior” episode of Wife Swap, but crazier and with nazis.

Hear me out. A House of Dynamite, but it’s solely about whether or not I will give into a defcon 1-level snack attack at 9:43pm. I promise it will actually end with some kind of resolution.

Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time

“.. in a group Signal chat, .. he wrote in part: ‘I fired 5 rounds and she had 7 holes. Put that in your book boys.’” @reuters.com #Chicago www.reuters.com/world/us/bor...

Don’t take it from me, listen to Snopes! Speaker Johnson signed a bill to cut $186 billion from SNAP. And again, it’s HIS party that won’t help millions of Americans put food on the table this month.

A shit end to a shit season. See you in February #Nascar ✌️

Fuck William Byron and fuck Kyle Larson.

Say it with me, NASCAR fans will never be happy.

I think Michael Waltrip is asking for an intervention #nascar #foxsports

A gentle reminder that crime has been steadily decreasing for decades since peaking in the early 90s.

KISS the band sucks, but Ace Frehley’s “New York Groove” absolutely fucks.

This is what it looks like when your community stands up.

Jesus Christ! You took the wrong 79 year old!

Author who hates himself in a real Nick Fuentes way, whose entire career is defined by good filmmakers elevating his c grade work tries desperately to remain relevant with a shit take. FIFY

Jordan pulling his co-team owner Denny Hamlin aside after watching him ruin the race of their own driver who needed to win to continue his Nascar championship run.

He blocked me so I will respond here. Someone not willing to engage with someone after “having final say” is… a little bitch. @dustindowd.bsky.social . It’s weird to be so precious about sports, but let me be clear. Chase Briscoe’s Trump cocksucking at the Daytona 500 will always be embarrassing.

Brad Keselowski being a total fucking idiot?

This might be the most insane thing I’ve ever seen.

"…and Magda Goebbels made a great strudel.”

We’ve been living through 72 nonstop hours of this exact tweet

Terrorist Trump. No Justice bsky.app/profile/chri...

Just a reminder that #Trump is a rapist and a pedo.

My favorite thing about today’s NASCAR race is that Larson once again drove like a dumb dickhead and suffered the consequence. Not only is he not the world’s greatest race car driver, he’s not even the worlds greatest NASCAR driver and it shows.

Kyle Larson running out of talent…once again.

Know your rights, Illinois. Stay safe and stay informed.

Responding to emails from Ted Cruz

Sorry food workers just know I've been there. I feel for you.

My takeaway is that Joshua Taylor wants more Columbo apparently 🤷‍♂️. I don’t know, the hackneyed analysis defaulting to soap opera tropes was kind of hard to decipher as real critique (of which there would be plenty), but this ain’t it. Sorry, bubbie. Do better on your work-for-hire yahoo pieces.

20-odd years ago I had an asshole district manager tell me "You need to give up on this silly internet writing thing and get serious about your career here at Hollywood Video." After Hollywood Video shuttered, I heard he went to work for Bed Bath & Beyond. I wonder which corp he's serious about now.