“I was in the Malvinas y’knaa!”

Absolutely fucking not. Fans need to be vocally opposed to this before it gets off the ground. www.espn.com/soccer/story...

How hard is it to understand that, since Newcastle DOES NOT want to sell, it’s going to take an absurd amount to make it happen?!

Ridiculous.

This is why Trumpism in the United States is so pervasive: Otherwise good people willing to hold their nose and accept corruption as long as they benefit from it personally.

Have tried to distill the second half into one image

If Keir Starmer somehow convinced FIFA to overturn a suspension for Declan Rice or whoever, I'd feel incredibly embarrassed and would just avoid talking about it out of a deep sense of shame. As opposed to the "hated adored never ignored" approach that most Americans seem to be going for.

Absolute corruption.

And if Bruno is sold, the window as a whole is an immediate 1/10.

If America hadn’t been founded on such idealistic principles, perhaps it might not have drifted so far from them? It’s a land of extremes, incompatible with its shadow, fighting its reflection. It’s carbonated, caffeinated and oh so stimulating. Happy Birthday, USA!

🚨 Exclusive: Bruno Guimarães to Tau Ceti Alpha, here we go! 🇧🇷👽 Deal agreed for former Athletico Paranaense and Lyon midfielder, with HIJACK done. Other clubs interested, but Bruno only wanted Tau Ceti.

Advertise your Bluesky account with a Simpsons gif

Hydration Break

this is known as a newcastle united curve

Come on!!! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Well played Canada 🇨🇦👏 www.skysports.com/football/new...

A good time to dust this off.

All this hand wringing and hysterics over a fucking football shirt. If you don’t like it, that’s fine…no one cares. #nufc

At least Ian Wright is speaking up about the hypocrisy and farce of this World Cup 👏👏👏👏

Show us the last four albums you listened to #last4albums

The whiff of professionalism across the way this big deal was handled is refreshing. Feels like grown-ups are in charge of the club. #NUFC

Yeah you’re right, fuck it. Why bother playing the games, even? Let’s just have a computer predict the results and we can all stay at home not caring. Fucking hell man.

100% can’t be arsed with it.

This hits so good it should be illegal.

It's our penance for rewarding rat-like behaviour

🏆Daniel Moore hailed his Hebburn Town ‘underdogs’ after they defied the odds to pull off a shock Northern Premier League Premier Division title win and secure a historic promotion into the National League North. Report and reaction via the Shields Gazette. www.shieldsgazette.com/sport/footba...

This is absolutely spot on. Howe’s obsessive meticulousness was such a huge part of getting NUFC to where they currently are, but it’s clearly been detrimental this season (and the tail end of last, if we’re being honest). He’s not likely to change his methods either.

www.loudersound.com/bands-artist... Fuck man. Gutted.

I hated the fake crowd noise, but I confess a slight enjoyment of the weeks before the players realised there wasn't 20000 screaming fans covering up them yelling "I was right fucking there for fucks sake just fucking pass it you fuck" and started just talking at a normal volume.

It looks like he misjudged a fart and shit his pants…

Yep, I was right.

Liam Rosenior has done nothing to make me think he’s a cunt, but he’s definitely got the face of someone who might.

Sp*rs fans: "I'm freaking out man!" Sp*rs front office:

Victor Osimhen. Doubt he would pass the “no arseholes” test. Writing Woltemade off after one season, in which everyone not named Hall or Thiaw has underperformed, is daft imo.

Barcelona celebrating like they won. Cunts.

Death, taxes, Joelinton getting a yellow card…

Agent Carrick #MUFC

I love football me

For the record, Jesus does NOT want to come back. Would you?

Via dot com. Superb.

Three Men and a Sausage

Not me thinking this is what he meant 🤦‍♂️

"It doesn't matter that he had a gun" Maybe it'd be good if neither he or immigration officials had guns. Or, hear us out here America, almost no one had guns

If someone can dehumanise a black person or a or an immigrant or a disabled person or a gay person or a trans person, they sure as shit can dehumanise you.

You score 3? We'll score 4. That one's for you Kev 👑

Ugly win? Seems like an exaggeration.

Read “Luxury” there in the style of the Monty Python four Yorkshiremen sketch, is this the right interpretation? Two strikers? Luxury! We used to live in a rolled up newspaper in a septic tank