This could be The Forth or The Town Wall circa 2009-12 Nobody ever found out for definite what he was listening to

Not sure how new it is but there's a stand in Central Station selling samosas, kebab wraps, baklava and other treats. Got something for the way home/to warm my hands up after the match, great scran, hope people use it and keep it going, better than Greggs if nowt else. That's the #NUFC match report

The lads back playing records and talking shite>people on a match day metro giving it "Good Christmas?"

It is probably something I say too often when someone does something daft, but Gabriel deserves an "are you on glue?" for that one

NUFC going 2 nil up is like the start of Casualty when some kid with braces is away to fly a kite near a pylon, you know something bad is happening, but what? I'm no Eileen Drury but you've got to question what the fuck is going on with these lads

"I want to be considered as one of the goalkeepers at NUFC, don't tease me tease me tease me tease me baaaaaby"

Chicken tikka, in Costa Rica

"It's the new Christmas songs, Marty! Something's gotta be done about the new Christmas songs"

TBF I'm not as bothered these days, we've won a cup and seen it in real life. Anything from here is a bonus, I genuinely thought I'd be dead before that happened. Still not ideal to stick your big hipster head on one past your own keeper against them but they're we are

The debate about who was the best character on "Married with Children" didn't go on for long

If Scottish football fans are wondering how to pronounce Iheanacho, it’s the noise a Geordie makes when he finds a Dorito down the back of the sofa

Big away win in The Nigerian Geography derby earlier

Either one side of my house is sinking or this Qarabag pitch is on some slope

The Inter Milan crowd there giving a rare rendition of the Italian version of "Oh when the beans come out the tin"

"Your love is like Barry Venison, Barry Venison is what I need"

As my brother said during the match today, all these referees when they get on the mic to explain what VAR stuff they've seen sound like absolute nerds. They should pack that in

What have Leeds United and people who run Dog Walking Services got in common? Nowt

That was pathetic, everyone could see Burn needed hooked after the booking except the manager for some reason

Piper's Jalapeno and Dill crisps are a strong addition to any Geordie Tapas spread

Martin Keown "I can't tell you what a good ball that is" well you're under qualified for this talking about the football match you're watching gig you inexplicably keep getting

Is this Villa kit based on an away kit from the past? Looks like a Birmingham City away kit to me Clive

Of course it's all self scan these days so I was spared this, but back when I worked in supermarkets this is the sort of haul that would have had me asking "Dinner party is it?" when some knacker came through the checkout.

Piss poor from @newcastleunited.com that there wasn't any acknowledgement of Willie McFaul's passing aside from black arm bands today. A European cup winner and former manager, deserved more

While Storm Amy was causing disruption across the country at St James' Park it was some Big Nick Energy that did the damage to Forest

Amazing what turning over the Belgium Pro League Champions can do for the mood

"Any injuries other than Schär for the match today, Eddie?" "Trippier" "Er, ok, any injuries other than Schär for the match today, Eddie maaaaaaan?"

It's all well and good these celebrities, your Clooney's your McBride's your McConaughey's having their own Tequila brands, good luck to them. But none of them have got a little sombrero for a lid like the good people at Sierra Tequila so they'll always be playing catch-up for me Clive

Not sure about the new Mortal Kombat

Thought Manchester United had a chance of at least a moral victory on account of having proper long sleeve tops and not short sleeves with a base layer, but then seen their manager is covered in dinner medals so he's ruined that

Not really fussed either way on the outcome of this miles away derby, but, there's more than one of this Southampton team that look like they could be related to the poorly fella who is in the orchestra with Dana Barrett in Ghostbusters

"Stuart Maconie sits in" not many better 4 word sentences on a Saturday

@newcastleunited.com Any pictures of Lewis Hall and Nick Woltemade recreating that famous photo of Jimmy Bullard looking at Duncan Ferguson like he's absolutely terrified of him, please admin?

"He walked away from The Imperial Army and without the movement he started The Rebellion wouldn't have made it, yeah he told a few lies along the way and had a terrible wig, but so what? In this house Luthen Rael is a hero, end of story"

Picturing these interviews being conducted during a game of Twister

Brand new Soultwins podcast from me and @soultwinstu.bsky.social is now up! Cheers to everyone who listens and shares. Well appreciated 🔊🤓🤓🔊 podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/s...

Is there anything we could paint on a roundabout to display our unhappiness with VAR?

@soultwinjeff.bsky.social @soultwinstu.bsky.social I thought you must have sold your decks or something it's been so long, but the good people at Mixcloud have just emailed me to say you're back, praise the lawd!

Philippe Albert apparently learned English from The Viz and liked a Sid the Sexist chat up line, then there was Steven Taylor with his daft bants. This new lad has some bawdy shoes to fill taking the number 27 shirt

I've not seen much of this Strand Larsen kid, maybe he'll be the Norwegian Wood?

When he moves in with Frasier

Fella on the metro barrier at Central confirmed my suspicions that the QR code on the all new digital Magpie Mover is pointless "There's nee where to scan that, waste of time"

It's all about decision making really. Deciding to pass & not shoot, raking someone down the calf and whoever near me who decided to have a mince pie on 30 minutes, they needed to whaft a meat and gravy scent about in the hottest I can remember being in the ground. All errors in hindsight

They might have done a decent job of rehashing an unpopular away kit (the one with orange not that hand chopper monstrosity) but the boffins at adidas have sorted Juventus a bar code home kit. We should have had one of those.

WHOSE HORSE?!?

Long run Saturday, forgot to start the recording app at the start like a wazzock but decent apart from that. Don't YOU forget you can still sponsor me and everyone else I'm doing the Great North Run with. ajbellgreatnorthrun2025.enthuse.com/pf/richard-f...

Can see why Howe was so keen on this Trafford kid, handling it outside the box and treating the ball like a hand grenade that's had the pin pulled while it's at his feet

West Ham v Chelsea, on a Friday Night?!? I bet at least one rotter has come straight from a funeral wearing white jeans

@newcastleunited.com any pictures of Fabian Schär looking like he's pondering whether to ask the shift supervisor if she fancies going to Zizzi's after work, while neglecting his packing duties in the Amazon distribution centre, please admin?

Watching some zoo thing on BBC1 and they've got a Hippo called "Manon" poor sod must be constantly looking round thinking he's going to be tackled