is it just me or is she only activated when Trump is in power? Just silent when its Democrats doing the evil thing

"roman salute," that very normal way of describing a salute every living person recognizes from decades of world war two movies

time to get my gun out of the storage unit

finally got off the apps im on a strict diet

all the “this isn’t a time to blame politicians” narrative around the fires in LA are so funny to me because it is absolutely the time. we can offer mutual aid and also grow in class consciousness at the same time. those two things are not mutually exclusive.

this cant be the same winter that johnny appleseed walked barefoot in

need a godzilla tattoo asap

being really brave rn* *eating a crumb cake muffin on public transportation

William New Years Eve the Science Guy

chips are a gateway drug

if you give a mouse a Dorito, he’ll ask to guzzle a high fructose drink to wash it down with. now that mouse’s brain is addicted to high-salt high-sugar foods and anything healthy tastes boring in comparison

omg just realized Jimmy Carter was younger than Betty White

William New Years Eve the Science Guy

I cannot wait to have my own place

All those christmas songs are euphemistic right? Mommy wasn’t kissing Santa Claus, bc he isnt real. And Rudolph wasn’t a reindeer, he was a munch

Squid Games 2 is just asian John Wick

Share a crush with no explanation

Hey man, sorry I can’t make it: it’s just that I’m going to die in at best a few decades so I’ve got to do some other things instead

incredibly racist things happening on that other website.

i’ve been on a list since I was 16 whispering the word “jihad” into my smart fridge. this is not my first rodeo

Had a bike accident in September, went to ER. Got a bill for $4300. Luigi shoots a CEO. They send me an email giving me a $500 discount Luigi gets a fade. Bill is $80 now. Am I gonna pay it? I’ll think about it.

hope they didn’t use “apple intelligence” for the new iOs bc its ass

I know a major part of writing is making an unwieldy, shitty first draft, but god, there’s nothing I hate more than being in the middle of an unwieldy, shitty first draft

Clarissa Shamrock used to date a well endowed elf of a different breed (Leprechaun) who worked in the Gold Trade. Thank you to Bushwick Comedy Club for giving Clarissa Shamrock some stage time on Xmas day!!

Be careful out there... New Year's falls on Friday the 13th this year

just bought a bunch of condoms (for a prank) from a Yemeni brother at the corner store and then had a wholesome discussion on Islamic law. i love brooklyn

that’s my boy!

the venn diagram of people who hate pronouns and people that don’t mind being asked for the title of “Miss, Ms, Mrs, or Mr” on a form is a circle

AirPods are great, I love spending $200 on an ear infection

Seven years ago I wrote a holiday-themed version of “Killing In The Name Of” that RATM could release as a Christmas single. They haven’t recorded it yet but I haven’t given up hope that someday they will

how close should I keep my friends' enemies

I can’t wait for the day Luigi converts to Islam from jail. It’s bound to happen, I can feel it in my bones.

not enough black and brown people on raya. tired of all these bland white faces w chiseled bodies.

More like A SCAB ammirite?

using the vibrator as a night light >>>

it is 🧱°F in nyc rn

Brooklyn College spying on Muslim students w cops going undercover on campus

but where am i gonna get a last minute neon tutu now??

Guy who can’t remember what chocolate is called: “hello, where can I find your dog poison?”

I check the wheelchair accessible option on google maps (bc am disabled even tho I don’t need a wheelchair atm) and once in a while it is completely inaccurate. I had to fight the pain and made it up but imagine if someone was in a wheelchair and ended up trapped not knowing how to get up the stairs

Fiyero in Dancing Through Life The Dance The Lyrics

one thing about me, i hate breaking a streak of progress

Proud of myself for keeping my fasting blood sugar within the target range for a year straight but I’m still always too scared to check it after eating 😥

a gym playlist titled “Jim Jams” has anyone done this yet?

Himbo station

using a lofi version of chappell roan’s entire rise and fall of a midwest princess album for my classroom activities 🤌🏽🤌🏽 god bless

I DO wish more men would take a few minutes off from conquering Rome or building passive incomes and generational wealth and fall in love with themselves, too. Figure out who you are without money. Learn to love THAT guy. I don't mean go broke (because i know some of you will jump to that.)

As millennials, the first Star Wars movie most of us ever saw in theaters literally opens with a trade dispute. We’ve been preparing for the fallout from these tariffs our whole lives.