let me explain you hop on Threads, you hop on X (couldn’t be me, but many such cases) and right in front of your face is real racist nazi propaganda it makes you furious annoying is like “i don’t like the way you just spoke to me” fury is like “i want your bloodline to suffer for your actions”

so do they just not have a character limit over on truth social or

i mean look if you have success, great red scare is huge, i hope you earned it, if not, fine i guess but if you have success and you’re still, from up there, spending your time punching down on people then you know i hope you get what’s coming to and i think that’s normal to feel

is it bad to say i’ve been watching dasha fuck around from a far for like 5 years and i’m thrilled to finally make it to the “find out” portion of the show

to be fair it’s not like i’m online cruising for an argument but i’m not just gonna let one of your bluesky duke regents talk sassy at me for no reason without any pushback the fuck

anyway i didn’t think this thru because check this out: betterU actually does their medical paperwork so like, i go to my PCP to get my normal sleeping pill and they’re like “oh yeah sure” but then tell me on the phone later, after i’ve already been to the pharmacy to pick it up, that they can’t

i fuckin wipe my ass with 30k, i lose and gain 30k followers a year on instagram just to keep the number static

by the way i’ve lost accounts bigger than yours lmao pal

you are such a fucking pussy for talking shit at someone but not giving them the option to reply, so break out 6 nail emojis you effeminate nerd

don’t doxx yourself over this brodie

thank you bsky for being so full of dorks who think they are somebody because they happened to early adopt an app that still hasn’t broken the 100mil user mark, it’s my least favorite type of person it turns out and arguing with them gives me a dopamine hit similar to coke which i can’t do anymore

give some loser 20k on an app where nothing happens and they start having delusions of grandeur you’re no one lol and you know that that’s why you’re too pussy to allow comments on your “dunk”

just an old bitter queen taking pot shots at anyone that dares to randomly cross their field of consciousness belching out roasts for anyone who will listen sad

they said it couldn’t be done they said i didn’t have ketchup, i only had tomato paste and vinegar and salt and sugar and spices and i said “actually im doing an artisanal fast food homage and homemade ketchup fits the vibe perfectly, so hold my diet dr pepper”

one cool thing abt being the autistic scapegoat of ur family that exists in the upper middle class socioeconomic range is i’m always broke as fuck and it forces me to be resourceful i could survive and even thrive in a lot of situations that a millionaire who has never known poverty would wither in

“Ha ha.” is objectively the most fucked up part of this tweet pure psychopath behavior

and where tf am i supposed to crash out exactly on a little side account specifically for crashing out like some kind of coward i just don’t ever feel like im really crashing out online because like im just laying here typing like ive fist-fought tweakers irl, it’s not that serious lol

I’m so excited to stay home and play video games tonight. 💚

sorry i was blasting halen revving my car outside the girl's college

i’m not really in the business of defending the wealthy but i feel like this should read “freak intrudes on a guy trying to privately take a piss and tells the media about it”

i feel like a bad queer that i don’t know what a drag brunch is but it sounds pretty self-explanatory so i don’t know why im confessing this

like i can tell you from my personal experience that people with disabilities don’t want either your pity or your judgement we would simply like for you to acknowledge the reality of the condition we have AS DICTATED BY US since we are the ones experiencing the disability pretty simple stuff

bro says “you should read your work to trusted friends” i said “some people really can’t make those” he said “well isn’t that a sad state of affairs?” to which i should have replied, “yeah dude. and it’s sad when people can’t walk but being sad about it doesn’t make their legs work does it”

imagine you’re a male bird and you have to whip out these big honkin’ bazongas to attract a mate lmao

it’s your pal Milford with another helpful American tip that will serve you well in life: take the bullets out of your gun before cleaning it hope this helps!

hey guys here's my impression of you. "I'm posting on bluesky rn"

“i was awarded a structured settlement, or annuity :( is there anything i can do to get my cash now? :(“ yes! call JG wentworth!

J G WENTWORTH 877 CASH NOW

me, an American: i didn’t have ketchup and so to avert crisis, i made some thank goodness it worked now my dinner of burger and fry can continue unimpeded 🍔🍟

to the tune of Rob Schneider’s “makin’ copies” bit makin’ ketchupppp

my desire to never work more than i absolutely have to has lead me to posing questions to the internet like “can you make ketchup out of tomato paste?” and guess what reader you can. you can

people always hit me with this like it its going to absolve them instead of making them look worse, the latter of which it absolutely does

the lack of awareness of physics on this man is astounding to me

“He blew him, Brendan. He blew Bubba and now Putin has a picture of it. Makes sense though. If a guy sucks your dick you have to invite him to your daughter’s wedding, it’s part of the code. The brojob code, Brendan”

with my autism, it’s not that i don’t get that people lie or can’t pick up on it, it’s that lying isn’t MY OWN go to tactic. u generally sub ur own protocol in for others subconsciously and you have to “remember” that ppl are different and i have to “remember” that ppl are constantly lying often

folks idk if this is just my autism kicking in and taking everything literally but i read the Megan Kelly statement and she said “i talked to someone close to the case and it’s his opinion, and i’m not making excuses for this by the way” and i can’t figure out if people just want to hate her

guess i'll get out of this fuckass bed and do another fuckass day

folks i’ve gotten into a little baking as of late to save money and for fun and the number one thing i have learned so far is: flour hands are goated don’t touch anything without coating yourself in flour and also coat everything else in flour

i know that’s right

money is fake, borders are fake, all governments are fake, race is fake, religion is fake, gender is fake, any supposed reason you have to randomly kill or harm another human being is fake and most importantly seasonal christmas oreos are the best oreos

*in the tune of Hotel California* LIVIN IT UP WITH UNLIMITED TOILET PAPER 🎸 der ner ner ner ner

screams with what? dreams and the power of friendship? am i missing something i don’t see any lung on the partially muscled skeleton, do you?

*MSNBC walks in having cut her bangs herself* me: girl, not now

you can also, if you’d really like to, cook your onions down until they caramelize and use that to sweeten the marinara but ain’t nobody got time for all that just hit it with some sugar or honey a little bit at a time until it tastes right

2 small volume but nevertheless key ingredients many forget in their marinara is pepper flakes and sugar just a few dashes each, one to add a little heat and the other to cut the bitterness of the tomato

this is so cool bc it makes this line in my new poem super relevant and only that reason

what a world modern hitler doesn’t post for a day and it’s all anyone can talk about—i know it’s negative attention, but that is irrelevant, counselor—but you don’t post for a month and your own friends don’t even do a wellness check lmao gross