The amount of money Kevin Warren is being paid to fuck up at work on basically an hourly basis at this point is WILD.

Every commencement speech intended to get grads excited about the future being AI slop reminds me of Monty Burns genuinely thinking he’s doing good by leaving no sea creature unwasted by recycling them into slurry.

holy shit this is not only real, but costs $100 www.bradfordexchange.com/products/911...

Live look at the Cubs

Kansas Baseball is the load bearing sports happiness pillar until the Bears get going and that is unprecedented levels of grim

An example of how the term LGBTQ gets used in establishment media to flatten and obscure. Frank was notoriously hostile to trans rights, and wasn't particularly keen on queer communities broadly outside a swath of gentry white cis gays. The main trail he blazed was for his own power.

That is a pure Simpsons gag exit

Indictment of the entire Eastern Conference that the Cavs got this far with trash ball

Harden and Brunson having a trash off. It’s a trash off, everyone.

Turns out the Cubs are who I thought they are even through the 2 streaks. The exact same goddamn team they have been on offense since 2020. Cool.

Another season of the Brewers boring their opponents to death all leading to a thrilling NLDS loss to the Braves. Thrilling stuff.

CRICKET: Who is it? MANTIS: Plumber. CRICKET: Plumber? I didn't order a plumber. MANTIS: Telegram. CRICKET: oh hell yeah a telegram

Real jump scare seeing Amy McGrath’s name in the timeline tonight

Lee Dixon with the bold statement that Arsenal fans like the team that won the league. Excellent work as always!

At least Arsenal fans will be temporarily miserable now

WESTERN CONFERENCE FINALS: two thrilling young teams engage in battle led by the two-time defending MVP and maybe the most physically perfect player ever created EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS: an affront to god full of plodding left-handed ballhanders flailing their bodies into airborne defenders

Crammed a bunch of work in earlier so I can now take 2 hours surely enjoy a relaxing, calming, not rage inducing edition of The Beautiful Game

I haven’t seen something from Southampton unexpectedly sink like this since Captain Edward Smith of the White Star Line crashed into an iceberg in the North Atlantic in April 1912.

Spurs only need one simple point at either 1) a place they literally never win or 2) at home, where they literally never win the last few years. I’m sure this will all be fine.

If there ever was a year for a conference final to be legally binding as crowing the actual champion, this would be it. Borderline travesty the vile scum Knicks or aesthetically vile Cavs have get to play one of these teams

Another year, another season of the Cubs pitching not being able to solve the mystery of the Brewers AAAA lineup of nobodies.

Each screaming of “AGENT” gets louder and more unhinged, my finger bloodied from smashing 0 over and over on my phone cracking the glass and hearing “I m s o r r y, I m h a v i n g t r o u b l e…” as I get madder than any human being has ever been mad.

Every single Cubs-Sox game is the same dumb and or weird shit and whatever team is worse comes out on top. Each edition is just variations on a theme.

You can’t expect the Cubs to get Edgar Quero and Tristan Peters out. That’s asking far too much against two real guys and future hall of famers.

Do you think the CEO of Citadel or any big company is actually looking at any work, let alone doing any? Do you think they have any idea what they’re doing every day? Or is it that they played with a chatbot and went “wow” and have VPs that feed them bullet points of metrics they sometimes read?

Kansas is a…baseball?…school now

It’s Cubs-Sox weekend which means it’s time for the dumbest people in the city to have something to talk about in between advocating for whoever the bad white Bears backup QB is to get some more snaps.

Fascinating long thread about the disability use-case for Meta glasses and its broader implications.

Nice taste of what Playoff Cubs will look like the last few games. You never are as good as you are at your hottest or bad as your worst, but sure feels like they are closer to the team in this stretch than they are the win streaks.

I know it is several orders of magnitude different in scale, but the ways the Fire keep lapping the Bears on a new stadium and doing it seemingly The Exactly Right Way (and quickly) is hilarious.

With Rex Reed’s passing, Gene Shalit now can collect on the “critics who voiced themselves on The Critic” tontine

It’s the right call but I simply would not have tried that move on your own end? But also…the cursed amulet luck strikes again

Aside from literally every other part of this being exactly as crooked and tone deaf as you’d think, this should be enough of a red flag on its own: Duffy apparently has *NINE* kids? This fact alone is full on “do not trust anything else about them” territory.

On our way to start shooting the new episodes of MST3K this morning. Very exciting! (He’s gonna drive)

Finally, some undeserved good fortune for this Arsenal squad

Fuck Arsenal forever and I hope they follow through and bottle this chance at a double as excruciating as humanly possible

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

The literal one time I need Arsenal to run into one via meatwall and they naturally can’t boring their way through the net against a relegation side. Pathetic.

Let's check in on West Ham-Arsenal

I always hated Bobby Cox because of the Braves of it all and that superficially he looked like The Racist Sheriff/Mayor/Business Owner in any Civil Rights Movement photos, nice to have that validated even more learning he was a abusive piece of shit as well.

It’s like all the pitching injuries caught up with them in one terrible, pathetic inning.

this is like an arrested development bit

i think one day we'll wonder why this technology was dangerously rushed into every consumer facing product instead of quietly developed to fruition in academia or industry and the answer will be that the tech CEOs didn't know what to do with it so they asked the chatbot and did whatever it said

A real Brewers ass Reds team and almost as annoying. Literally who are any of these guys and they have a baffling run differential compared to their record. Just need to fast forward to their inevitable regression to reality.

COYS

I am currently in the process of paying $6.19/gallon for gas. At least everything else is going great and everyone is happy, so it’s all worth it.

hotel bar has the savannah bananas on instead of playoff hoops and this is truly the most tedious shit i’ve ever seen in my life. as a society we are starving our souls

i’m not haunted. please dont put it in the newspaper that i’m haunted