Zach, Zach, he’s a megalomaniac

there’s fucking ants everywhere

abracadabra amor oo na na abra ca dab ra morta oo gaga. Stefani I have received your message and will be acting on it soon

The Time Traveler’s Wife Guy

I like dogs and I also like fireworks. Make of that what you will.

Dafuq / boo

I don’t know why Hozier thinks it’s so hard core to drink coffee in bed at 3. Seems kinda soft to me, tbh.

Another day, another $100 at Met Market

My Sharepoint, My Ass

practices include: drinking coffee before sleeping, taking the mare's hat, throwing a piece of a noose at the demon, sleeping with a wedding belt or a scythe, changing one's sleeping position, smearing feces on the front door, leaving a bundle of hay in one's bed and going to sleep in another room.

TIL that the fortunes in fortune cookies are printed on edible paper. Then I unlearned it because it’s not actually true, but my teenager had me going there for a minute.

BREAKING: A new poll shows that a majority of Americans say that they are most thankful for Your Mom this year

why is Topo Chico so much fizzier than other sparkling waters? is it science?

Dark MAGA

A Tyson victory would be huge for Gen X. Huge. I need this.

the guy accidentally killing his wife with insulin in Memento, except it’s me repeatedly re-salting the food I’ve already salted

one of my first managers in my long and stable corporate career was a really nice, smart guy who took me under his wing. a recently widowed gay man in the late 90s, he was going to retire on his Yahoo stock before the Y2K crash. he was still working 24 years later and died at his desk. RIP

The Kid Rock one the sounds like Sweet Home Alabama but is actually about Michigan(?)

ICYMI

These Salinas area lettuce cutters tell us: We support Kamala Harris, we know that with Harris we have a chance for immigration reform. Donald Trump on the other hand calls us criminals. #Vote

people are too into eagles. they are just not that cool. they are not even a top 10 bird. not top 20. not a diss on any nation or sports team. just think we should move on.

Emails obtained via public records requests reveal a network of Republican election officials in Georgia are coordinating on strategies to overturn the results of the 2024 elections

pretty sure the new senior manager who came to our “town hall” was wearing two Apple Watches, one on each wrist . . . the mind boggles

Here’s my thing: I don’t give a fuck whether you think Bush was worse than Trump. It doesn’t matter. Trump is trying to become president again RIGHT NOW. Set that shit aside if you care about not letting the country slide further into fascism.

Trying to have an AI write my spooky children's novel. But it keeps deciding that the evil ventriloquist dummy is a basically benevolent figure, with many uses for society

gorcey outlet borgain morket

goddamn where did boomers get the weird idea from that they get to laboriously select their own version of "grandma" to be called and it has to be some wacky shit like MiMoo

To live in the world that exists and try to make it better is the only way to be happy, and also the way to be liberal, which is why we are universally despised

remember when we didn’t have to know thing things abc45.com/news/offbeat...

what if Trulys were called For Reals

what’s the deal with Reddit and open marriages? does one lead to the other?

Fascinating article. I’ve definitely noticed an increased tendency in recent years toward store-bought jalapeños simply not being spicy at all.

playing online chess is humbling. these mf’ers are out here pinning you, forking you,

Crossword Constructors xkcd.com/2896

a single turd should be called a “fecus.” it’s kind of upsetting it’s not tbh

I’m ready to go on record that having teenagers is worse than having babies/toddlers, not least because you yourself are 10-15 years older and 80% more over it

The Kraken have gotta get rid of Dave Hakstol, right? Throw him in the depths, sacrifices must be made, I can’t deal with this anymore

I went to “search posts” to see people being funny talking shit about Usher - and people were liking it? Bluesky fail.

why am I such a bad napper

pls share/RT Democrats Are Blowing The Immigration Message www.oliverexplains.com/p/democrats-...

did anybody see Miley Cyrus on the grammies? That was fucking awesome

pls share/RT America Is On The Mend, So Here Come The Caravans (Again) www.oliverexplains.com/p/america-is...

TIL my daughter recognizes Jenna Fischer and Vince McMahon from their respective memes

I keep coming back to my dream of making and marketing a vegan soup bone / vegan ham hock that would add body, fat, and flavor to a bean soup, and I keep realizing it’s like totally impossible

if those airline apps were smart, after you check in for your flight they should be like “do you want to schedule a Lyft now” or something

I have no idea what the plot of The Maestro is besides “this guy became a famous conductor” and I refuse to google it. This has been a subskeet of LA which I am now flying back from.

Anyone telling you the economy is bad when you are doing fine is telling you you don’t matter