Yeah bro I've been meditating. I've been genuflecting and practicing loving kindness and getting right with Dog. Mostly to deal with the horrors of being a woman.

I can get pregnant at any time my uterus just needs to lock in

no rule in the rulebook that says a puppygirl cant play basketball. no of course she wont make the team - look at her. shes pathetic. she cant even run up and down the court that well. look at those tits and hips shes basically just a mascot. god everyone in attendance is gonna want to fuck that dog

"did you cum?" my dear...is a song beautiful only at the end? do we watch a sunset to see the darkness? is a story only valuable because of the climax? but no

if i was garfield i'd be fucking the absolute shit out of that dog that much i can tell you

Literally what adult hobbies are there besides drinking and drugs

Agp dad or rapper mom

Have a seat anon it's just for you

White ppl love to be named shit like Themsicole Smith Jr

Wearing pink is gay. Asking for lemonade at a restaurant is gay. But having sex with a guy isn't gay, as long as he's dressed like a girl. You're taking notes right?

Bailiff, drain this man's nuts

-Gun to my head- CALL ME HE ONE MORE TIME AND THE BITCH GETS IT

We are fucking Charlie Kirk?

Yeah I'm the Crown Prince of Darkness, Underlord of All Evil, Purveyor of Ultimate Suffering, but really I'm just a normal guy haha

I'm over here twerking with my gay ass boyfriend y'all missing out on the joy of bottom4bottom relationships

Rip Jeffrey Epstein you would've loved Discord

Hard to say if the noble practice of emailing will ever recover from this scandal

kink shouldn't be allowed at pride because then kinky straight people will think they're queer and before you know it your pride is a ren faire

New word of the day: "stalkeándote"

Protestantism is like Chipotle - build your own reality for westoids with spiritually weak tummies

Two men, across the globe, independently discovered calculus. In two different languages, two completely different sets of terminology, they arrived at the same conclusions, they described the same reality. One Dog by many names. Is monotheism the same?

The treat is placed on the dog's nose, but she cannot act, lest she risk losing the treat, the pawmise of further treats. In this way, she is taught to conquer desire.

"anti-communist" takes too long to type out you can just go ahead and say you're a fascist to save time

There's an obvious pawlitical agenda for straight edge and it's not anti-drug user. Drugs are a vehicle for state violence, used to wage and justify war on the third world and working classes of the imperial core. To be anti-drug is anti-state.

It was about when she broke out the shock collar after unsuccessfully beating me with a TV guide to stop me from humping her leg that it hit me - this is all part of Dog's Plan

Talking to AI pawbably rules when you're an insecure meatling with no sense of self or Dog

As a pre-op transsexual, I really relate to Roddy Ricch's "The Box"

we are ruled by a class of men incapable of experiencing joy

I showed you my man voice please laugh

Depends,

>be me >unhappy with life and self >"Fuck predeterminism" >Completely change life and self >Realize this too was predetermined Mfw

Guess who got out yesterday and damn near gave me a heart attack

I'm starting a transvestigation practice but only for the hrtwinks who say they're not on it

(experiencing penis for the first time) wow this goes fucking hard

i love how even in a positive discussion about what testosterone does to your genitals we have to include the sentiment of “but you don’t have to take hormones to be valid!!!!!” when it feels like a huge chunk of transmasculine culture is being terrified of the effects of hormones

Straight trans women friends keep inviting me out to drag nights I'm gonna have to revert to lesbianism just to have a decent hang smh

"you identify as a woman?" No, I identify as a cunty motorcycle, liberal

Need need need vocaloid voice training

they call it the bluesky block

Hey crypt-bro, there's actually a massive pump and dump scheme taking place in my bedroom and I want you to get in on it

when archaeologists find my bones they will be like oh shit its a skeleton!!!!!!

YouTube in 1750 BC: NEW BOMBSHELL IN EA NASIR DRAMA -NANNI LAUNCHES MASSIVE TELL ALL CANCEL TABLET

Fellas, is it kawaii to do a racism?

While you were jestergooning, I mastered the woke blade

A pure distillation of the capitalist relation - the proletariat are tools in the process of generating capital, with less rights than the machines used to enslave their labor. You have to pay to maintain machines, and capitalists loathe that they have to do the same for humans.

My bf keeps calling me wife in front of his mom and it's really confusing her lol

Once you've been dating for 3+ years as a transsexual you're automatically considered married