why are they like this 🥲

Instant nonsense from the Bears!

“Hey Chicago it’s the first half of a football game!” I schleep 😴 “Hey Chicago it’s the second half of a football game!” REAL SHIT????? 😲😲😲

Are the Bears playing like this on purpose or something?

yeah but i don’t like every day being worse than the day before

Absolute success for medium hot millennials running for mayor.

Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and caldron bubble.

happy none pizza left beef day!! it's been 18 years and is now old enough to vote

Stop inventing new celebrities. I don’t know who you’re talking about.

NYT games needs to make a pips archive. I’m addicted.

NOW that’s what I call BLASPHEMY volume 8!

Ok but what’s up with right-wingers and the Conjuring house? It’s very weird how that’s a whole category of content.

I eat nails for breakfast. Fingernails. I’m very nervous.

No one is really talking about it but customer service is worse lately too. Also, customers.

A scam call after 10 pm. Outrageous.

Falling for obvious scams and instructing others to be less skeptical is not a morally superior stance.

It’s really a shame that literally no one between the ages of 25 and 75 exist to do all those jobs that experienced adults who aren’t on death’s doorstep are most qualified to do.

Me, almost everyday: I reject Catholicism from my life. I have much respect for the great Catholic educators I have had but it is a corrupt evil organization that has inflicted unspeakable harms on this earth. Me during a conclave and when New Pope™️ news breaks:

Huh.

If I turned in AI generated slop for my Econ homework I woulda failed but I guess that doesn’t apply to everyone.

Today’s wordle was ridic.

Started from the bottom (Monday) now we're here (Friday)

I hate when Wordle and Connections are both easy on the same day.

Open the schools. I know they ain’t closed, but open some more. Lock people inside.

Dear coffee: I don't care how late in the day it is; I'mma drink you like it's 5 a.m. I love you, girl.

Open the schools. I know they ain’t closed, but open some more. Lock people inside.

today is a being mean to me blackout. nobody be mean to me all day

I seriously sit around doing crossword puzzles like it’s my full time job and I’m not even good at them.

Dear esophagus, I’m going to eat some pasta with red sauce and a big old glass of wine. NO ✋🏽 consequences please!

The Fox News has made an ecosystem of perpetual victims who don't have to answer for anything. It's always somebody else's fault, DEI or Woke or The Media, and that way you can be as stupid as you want. Yeah, so I'll laugh a little bit at the leopard eating their face as it eats mine.

The combination of the wrong people having way too much money and far too many people being very stupid is not helping things at all.

What makes you uncomfortable doesn’t make me unqualified.

Kendrick Lamar deserves to win the very first Nobel Hate Prize

Today, I cooked on the back left stove burner just to feel something different. Thanks for following my journey.

Wyna Liu come outside I just want to talk.

joining a neighborhood group on facebook is a good way to get to know that your neighbors have absolute brain worms, just fully gone, holy shit

Rest In Peace, Jules Feiffer. Died just shy of his 96th birthday, but he was still as vital as ever, plugging away on his next book. The way 2025's been going, I'm not surprised we lost our greatest living cartoonist less than a month into it.

Eggs better be 99 cents when I get up in the store today.

I’m going to read so many books over the next four years.

As scary as it is that the world is about to end, it’s scarier how much you want it to.

An NPR investigation found Louisiana health officials told staff to stop promoting vaccines for COVID, flu and mpox, holding flu shot events or otherwise encouraging the public to get those vaccines.

I've seen a child with tetanus, I've treated near fatal infections after chicken pox, and I've pronounced children dead from COVID whose parents refused to have them vaccinated. We have lost our minds... and are about to lose so many of our precious children.

Thou shalt not allow polio to come back you stupid fucks.

people say “you need to start living in the real world” but they forget that the real world includes lupines and lightning bugs and ginger beer and starlight and sea coasts and Renoir paintings and Rachmaninoff’s piano concertos and fog banks and foxes playing in snow.

Only one religion is right but I won't say which one because I want you to figure it out by hating and killing each other while I watch.

Makes me sad re-reading this amazing letter from ex-Watergate Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox sent to high school seniors in 1994 after they asked him “What should Americans learn from Watergate?” 20 years later in ‘94. His answer is remarkable—unfortunately things didn’t work out so well in 2024.