The posts I’m seeing where Moms are questioning Tylenol use and Autism is making my blood boil.

The thing that bugs me most about Mariner’s fans and M’s announcers is that they’re legitimately not superstitious enough. I beg, stop jinxing my team.

My kid tried this too and instead of ignoring him I threatened him with bodily harm.

I’m getting a lot of joy out of the mispronunciation of acetaminophen and I know that makes me petty and an asshole and I accept that assessment.

Staying sober through the total collapse of society has been really stupid.

Dr. Oz is a disgrace. I hope the devil who bought his soul when he signed on with this administration is pissed because he’s starving and makes him pay for it every day of his afterlife.

Why haven’t I ever used my mug warmer for a little simmer pot in my office? What is actually wrong with me?

Got an earworm for some reason… “So the FCC won’t let me be, or let me be me so let me see, they tried to shut me down on ABC but it feels so empty without me.”

Someone tell me I don’t need Dutch Bros for lunch.

CDC now recommends recycling gum from the underside of the tables on the ferries instead of getting vaccinated

I’m not name dropping because I worry that brings their boys to my yard but it’s a weird fucking world when I’m agreeing with certain talking heads from the other side. Truly living in the upside down.

I’m back on my bullshit (bought a Coke). This account is now just a place where I tell everyone about all my bad habits

Trying to drown the horrors with salt water taffy.

I have been down a rabbit hole for three days, in order to find the answer to this question. I have watched many hours of videos and I would just like to say I still don’t get it. I mean, I think I get the gist of it, but I still don’t get it.

Nothing beats watching the sun set over the Pacific

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?

excuse me, but what the fuck is a “Groyper?”

Your girl is tired

The problem with allowing guns everywhere is that no one is safe anywhere.

I’m not celebrating that he died but I’m not mourning it either. We’ve been screaming at the top of our lungs for decades that we need better gun control and we want people to quit dying needlessly. That goes for whether you’re right wing or not.

Posting this for no particular reason

That brain worm had one fucking job.

If you ask me to be mature about something you can guarantee I’m going to be as immature as possible about it

I stopped watching the match at 90’ cause I had to go get my animals in. I didn’t miss anything right? 🙃 #sounders

So many books, so little time. Favorite read of August was Isola and My Friends. Least favorite was Nightbitch and Project Hail Mary, one day I’ll learn to just DNF and save myself the time.

All that pink in Lumen Field looks like someone varmed a bunch of Pepto Bismol all over the stands

chocolate lab: He sits, comes, and lays down on command when he feels like it. Also likes to steal bookmarks out of 700 page books when you don’t pay attention for 2.5 seconds. Eats his body weight every day in very expensive food, because of course he’s allergic to chicken. Free to home.

Is this what boon scrolling looks like?

People are playing with my emotions tonight and I don’t know if I can handle it.

Somehow I forgot how messy Labs are when they drink water.

These clowns can go fuck themselves.

Fuck RFK Jr

“May his fat ankles find something today.” I know what I’d like them to find…

If you’re from the PNW and you see someone walking swinging their arms like the Bushwacker Brothers you know what season it is.

Busted out the spooky mugs. LFG.

Can someone please tell August that we’re ready for Fall

🦇 🕯️ we needz it @mementomorty.bsky.social @heatherupperleft.bsky.social @prodigalhoosier.medsky.social

Whoever gave me a headache on a Monday is on my shit list.

Pup-date. Still cute.

I read Project Hail Mary and I’m mad about it.

This is weird. Let’s actually not do this.

Seems like a logical question…

In a world full of Kims. Be a Scissors.

Homemade peach ice cream with graham cracker crumbles -sans salt

Just tried to make homemade peach ice cream with salt instead of sugar. In case anyone is wondering how my day is going.

One of the most frustrating things about being a reality tv junkie and being online with other fans of those shows, is that everyone always thinks their opinions about people on the show are the only opinions allowed and you better take cover if your opinion differs from the masses.

One work crash out coming right up.

Please excuse me while I go yeet myself off the nearest bridge.

Accurate.