I leave for ONE HOUR to go get dinner and come back to have missed drama goddamn

Every time people are mad at Chappell Roan for something the thing she did is always just something any normal person would do if they became extremely famous

I love being safe inside of my palatial bunker after destroying society when a knock comes upon the door. Ah must be my men. Coming to thank me no doubt. I'll have to award them an extra ration of broth.

it must be annoying to be a 90 year old Republican congressman and have to pretend like you know what's going on anymore. you got into politics to pass laws giving out tax breaks for every horse you own but your groyper staffers are like "you need to condemn a new YA novel about bottom surgery"

Check this out motherfucker [trades one third of my roster and some picks to another losing team for the most injured man alive, unclear what kind of move I was trying to make]

It really is bewildering how some people will talk about journalism, as something crucial that they’re owed but also must be provided for free, which by extension means they are demanding journalists should toil without pay, something they’d never think to demand of their electrician or doctor

Not really breaking news here on Bluesky, but "line must go up" is literally the root of every single problem we have! It's why everything fucking sucks now. More so than ever.

My favorite lay-off experiences are: 1. Coming in on a Monday morning to find that my bosses had already packed the contents of my office and personal belongings in boxes over the weekend. Losing Google Drive access right as I pulled into the parking lot was a nice touch.

RFK, jr. is the worst person you ever met at a party in california, patel is the worst guy you ever encountered at the gym, bondi is the worst person you ever met at church, bessent is the worst person you have ever met at a conference, all these people are the worst versions of every stereotype

worth noting that the second rich people stopped being afraid of mobs tearing them limb from limb, they stopped building libraries and opera houses and stuff and started ripping the copper wiring out of the walls of society instead

Hell yeah brother

After a lengthy appeals process and productive discussion with the Blue Sky safety team I will no loinger be sending George Thorogood lyrics to beautiful women on here via DM. Thank you all

sometimes i think about the fact that all i wanted to do during my senior year of college (after i flunked out of the school of education) was write for magazines and then just didn't do any of the important work to make that happen and now i'm 40 years old and still don't write for magazines

Pivoting my national newspaper to fash opinion sludge and some AI-related handwaving, on account of economic headwinds and also because neither I nor anyone in my cohort of elites knows how to read.

Anyway I hope everyone saying "defector but for x" today subscribes to those sites when they launch!!!!!!

Adam's take makes much more sense to me than "he wrecked it on purpose" I imagine a guy like Bezos thought he could pitch the conquered WaPo to the Fox News set as a cultural victory and that they'd start reading it but they're all rock stupid and don't care about a paper. They want Tucker and Jesse

Pretty amazing that most of us said if we we ever got to retire we’d like to make music or art or write and the tech guys said oh I can make a program to do that and it will cost trillions in debt so now you’ll get to work in a bad job til the day you die to help pay it off.

"They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back from the Dead!! Ahhhh!" off Illinois, probably

Bezos isn't destroying the Washington Post because it isn't profitable. He's destroying the Washington Post because he's calculated that a robust free press threatens the ability of his class to warp society around their interests

Unfortunately, Jeff Bezos had a bad divorce, so it became necessary to annihilate American journalism as a profession.

The Post killing its Books section (one of the best around) is so fucking bleak

I know Google sucks dogshit as a company but I do think it bears mentioning that I have paid $70 per month for Gigabit internet for the past ten years without even a whisper of a price increase.

i feel like we've had a good enough sample size for like two decades on whether or not body cameras on cops do anything whatsoever to stop them from killing people. the guy that murdered renee good was filming it on his phone for fun!

Funny how hard these guys are for Return To Office, but when it’s time for the mass firings we have to be absolutely sure there are no possible gatherings

Might fuck around and watch Lonesome Dove again

@erinmessel.bsky.social: Field of Dreams. It’s got baseball. A dad. Fields. An old guy named “Moonlight Graham.” She is one of the funniest people I know and when I tell you the face she made—this goddamn Art LeFleur in The Sandlot expression— had my stomach cramping from laughter

The principal followed up today. Got his ass. Parents found out. He wrote me an apology note.

i need school to stop introducing my child to apps that seem explicitly designed to make him mad and/or steal my money like this pokemon-ass battling game has him stressed because he lost and i'm not paying money so he can earn boddle bucks to level up his little pets.

As a card-carrying member of the party since, uh, 2004, I actually want to see ICE abolished and every current agent imprisoned at a minimum

did he shit his pants again?

we are not gonna make a hero of a MN lawyer who decided in the year of our lord 2026 to represent the government in habeas petitions here. yes, the crashout in court is kinda fun, but she took the job to do the habeas backlog for the government! she's not speaking truth to power. she's just tired.

isn't netflix the one that keeps platforming dave chappelle

Kicking off February by having to replace the garbage disposal. Love it.

Kinda wild that these people are just in charge of things isn’t it

WEAPONS (2025)

im building machines that i keep saying will both throw you out of work and allow masked special police forces in service to a lunatic i bought and paid for to recognize your face and check if i agree with your beliefs. im part of a pedophile ring that put this into motion. why are you rude to me

bummer for them i guess

Millennials reading this post

Duke Nukem probably committed at least ONE act of sexual harassment

I know that there's an argument to be made that kids should be kids, but I also don't love having children throw what sounded like a VERY heavy snowball at the side of my car on the way home from school pickup.

oh no someone I despise put their phone number on a Facebook post imploring people who are curious about Jesus to call them if they have questions and now I'm trying to figure out what to do with this information.

lol

i really am having trouble grasping the extent to which our entire culture has been shaped by the guys in salo

emphasis on the "offensive"

Once a hack, always a hack: aftermath.site/darren-aronofs...

libertarians never beating the accusations

I'M AN AMERICAN BADASS IN A 4X4 MY PRESIDENT'S A DUDE WHO SHITS HIS DRAWERS

I love Bluesky because you’ll get people sincerely logging on to tell you that mocking the president’s incontinence is ableism and you will be first against the wall when the revolution comes if you laugh at farts

Now you too can play a slowed down version of a game from 20 years ago with no actual level design or enemies and all it costs is a complete collapse of the world economy, biosphere, education system, and multiple entire creative industries.