it’s my birthday on the east coast, and i treated myself to a tattoo earlier today. if you’d like to buy me a drink, my venmo is tentwentysixpm!! 😘

“girl dinner” is infantilising and lame. Woman Meal is provocative and cool.

Was trying to remember a Will Forte quote from Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie and accidentally figured out how to make Google’s AI tool shut up

women don’t need husbands, women need a collection of 70s shirts and a good waistcoat. a cool leather jacket doesn’t hurt.

rainy day mai tais and chinese food yesterday, bonus heart cheese.

i’d love to be on marlon brando’s island with his crate of big macs right now.

everyone on r/LAmetro right now.

now watching. i never got into dawson’s creek, so this is where i really fell in love with james van der beek. RIP king.

finished my rewatch of sex and the city (original series), and now you know what time it is. anyone watch the leftovers on this website?????

i like that the legion clearly got all of their sunglasses from the gas station.

get yourselves a man who makes a special delivery of a galco’s footlong blockbuster with your fave soda and chip on a random tuesday. ♥️♥️

yes hello, bongo!

had a pretty hard downhill fall on my run this AM, i’m pretty banged up but otherwise okay. a man named ishmael helped me up from the ground, then i jogged home. worst part is last time i ate shit on a run, i was at least trying to get a photo of a broken toilet in the street.

hating the matrix is so pedestrian.

the mood is not subtle

fuck ICE.

mulholland drive x pluribus.

a new jersey-based christmas tree delivery service called Spruce Bringsteen

now watching. fuckin obvi!

pluribus once again proving that only perverts drink milk.

men who have the audacity to call a woman terrible only to side with a rapist is some of the most hack shit in the book! especially when they portray themselves as An Ally.

Bad Company by Bad Company from the album Bad Company

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again.. the dateline channel badly needs a keith morrison episode filter!!!!

an appropriate shirt for today, followed by a shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch. etc.

HELL YEAH

on a momentous election day i am thinking of the guy who sent this legendary wrong number text

BYE BITCH!!!!

For anyone unclear on why this shutdown is still going, or why it’s not just affecting social services like SNAP but all the military branches too (which is unprecedented)

correcting a blind spot. now watching!

i love gay halloween what do you mean you’re the duane reade bag full of sex toys, trojans and lube under the bed in david harbour’s west village apartment

WORLD SERIES GAME 5 (courtesy of @screamerjim.bsky.social)

DODGER BASEBALL

this is what will happen if mamdani makes bus rides free

how could i charge full price for the man whose lust for filthy magazines kept me in business during that first shaky year?? oh by the way, here is your new issue of gigantic asses!

Logged on, ready to post

ongoing bit on stream where i trick someone into saying that today is a friday, triggering the mechanism to force them all to watch some of this show until they get CTE

tubi autoplayed the burbs after the game. a flawfree streaming service. now watching one of my favourite saturday afternoon WPIX movies.

now watching.

I learned about sex from a Tubi original

now watching. seems apt.

The White House looks good as new

all of the Sexual Posts(tm) here feel like they’re written by bots, and not even sex robots. virgin robots.

americana at brand memes was at this so americana at brand memes is canonically bald.

earlier today on the red line, the older man next to me took a huge bite out of his cherry chapstick. okay!!!!!

the universal equaliser.