You will be visited by three spirits

I love listening to Delilah's radio show during the holidays because someone will call the request line to share a heart-wrenching dedication about a deceased loved one and Delilah will be like "I've got just the song for you" and it's Frosty the Snowman.

The year’s 2103. The world’s a dust bowl overtaken by robots. I’ve been dead for decades. My inbox: Ryan, you’re on a roll on LinkedIn!

Getting started is always the hardest part. But if you stick with it long enough for it to become a habit, it’ll change your life. You don’t need to sprint. You just need to stay consistent. Full episode with my client @ryanmuldowney.com » youtu.be/92kUHdQ2efA?...

I have an irrational hatred toward the “Uncle Jeff” moniker. #survivor

My enjoyment of a country music song increases 10-fold if I'm able to say "take it away, Jimmy!" before the guitar solo.

Padding his resume to try and replace Hegseth

When I was maybe 5 or 6 I got a Viewmaster for Christmas and one of the discs was a Peanuts story. I forget what it was but one frame had Snoopy getting shot with a (suction cup tipped) arrow and falling down "dead." I burst out in hysterical crying, sobbing, gasping, I couldn't even speak/

There comes a time when every man finds out that he's older than the dad on the sitcom Just The Ten of Us. For me, that day was today.

This guy is my hero.

Serious question that I'm hoping someone hip can answer. If someone is "thicc," can they also be a "zaddy?"

In order to perpetuate their grievance du jour, the right would now like us to believe that the planet Krypton is a territory of the United States.

I have this Sportsbeat promotional ad framed and hung in my office. Anyone from Pittsburgh knows its cultural significance. #StanGuyLoveTheShow

I used to have all kinds of complicated, nuanced thoughts about political ideology and policy, but all that remains is, man, I hate these fucking fascists.

Merry Half Christmas, everyone!

With the tragic assassination of a Minnesota Democratic leader, I’m going to underline this point again.

Notice she's not talking about "criminals" anymore. Now they're onto who they perceive as their enemies, including the people *we* elected. They want to use L.A. to show they can force liberal cities into submission.

They did this to a sitting senator while they knew cameras were rolling. Imagine what they are doing to more vulnerable people in the dark.

As the US Army celebrates it 250th birthday, Trump is celebrating the enemy that tried to defeat it.

Imagine spending your whole life cos-playing and fantasizing about fighting the federal government sending troops in against its own citizens only to root for the government when the moment finally arrives

The situation in DTLA to which 700 Marines have been deployed is a couple dozen interfaith clergypersons leading a small crowd in prayer.

ICE crossed a line in LA

Some of y'all can't handle 2 high agency males going at it and it really shows

The straightest thing you can do as a man is to think a lot about two other guys' balls.

Commentary from #TheFinal5 on SecDef Hegseth stripping Navy vet Harvey Milk’s name from a ship: “Hegseth claims this is about restoring a “warrior ethos” — but what he’s really doing is erasing someone who doesn’t fit his idea of what a warrior should look like.”

😬😬😬😬

After hearing the news of George Wendt's passing, it reminded me of one day about a year ago when I lived in Los Feliz. I was taking my dog Rocko on his morning walk and went past the Los Feliz 3 theater, where a small crew was filming.

This hat is a choice and I love it. #BarenakedLadies

I’m here to tee up Jon Stewart on @thedailyshow.com.

Ben & Jerry's If I Had 1,000,000 Flavours (2009-2020): A blend of chocolate & vanilla ice creams, loaded up with fudge-covered toffee pieces, white chocolate chunks, peanut butter cups, and fudge-covered almonds. A Canada-exclusive, released to honor Canadian rock band Barenaked Ladies

At this rate, Steve Sanders from 90210 might get drafted before Shadeur.

Hello Jeffrey. #Survivor #AmericanCinematheque

I've been thinking about something for a long time and need to get it off my chest. Mrs. Roper from Three's Company was hot. Thanks for listening, everyone.

Get me to God’s country

So wait: their defense of the Signal thing is that it's just like the Hillary thing that he made an entire campaign out of saying she should be locked up for?

In 2007, I was watching football at Big Wangs in Hollywood and actor Michael Rosenbaum was at another table. Some guy, after a few too many beers, grabbed a camera and ambushed Michael with a selfie. He brushed it off but looked understandably pissed. Apologies to Michael on behalf of that chode.

please don’t text me war plans, because I’m actually at capacity right now and I don’t think I can hold appropriate space for you. do you have someone else you could reach out to?

RIP Wings Hauser. I hope you and Luke Perry are playing a game of very large checkers in heaven. #WingsHauser #LukePerry #beverlyhills90210

Tony Dance-a

This Trump Flacks Tesla thing reminds me of those super-shoddy Apprentice deals, in which Trump would gush about some weak brand because the company had paid him to plug them in an episode… and by episode, I mean an hour-long ad

When I worked on The Office, Greg Daniels had a list of questions he asked of every story. Some were show-specific (eg “Are we saying something truthful if exaggerated about office life?”), but many are applicable to any script. Here’s a little thread on them… 🧵1/X #Scriptsky #Screenwriting

That earthquake felt like a train speeding by

Happy #Survivor premiere day to all those who celebrate!

Congratulations to my twin brother Nick Siriani on the Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl victory.

Nightmare Myspace Top 8 lineup

The President is fully in charge, except when it comes to anything bad that happens. Then it’s everyone else’s fault.

Does anyone else take a strange comfort in hearing the sound of their dog deeply snoring?

I told my son that we count only blue cars because we’re a Dishwalla household

Donald Trump is the first person from the music video for Bobby Brown’s “On Our Own” to serve two non-consecutive terms as president.