Lads, I forgot to tell you all that this exists. I just tried it and it’s like liquid pickled onion monster munch. It’s dangerous.

"You're gonna need a bigger bookshelf" The Very Hungry Great White Shark is available now! www.lulu.com/shop/happy-t...

Brutal Tokyo

Post a fictional comedian who definitely would accept an invitation to the Riyadh Comedy Festival.

because stuff always works like this when you're a one-man band, obviously it's only now that Alien:Earth is finished I'm finally getting chance to remake the moulds for our Xeno:Morph kit. He's back in the shop as a pre-order, anyway!

New! Cassetteboy vs Keir Starmer. This took absolutely ages, so if you'd like to buy us a coffee at ko-fi.com/cassetteboy we'd really appreciate it. Thanks!

I have finally done the thing. Well, more accurately, the thing has been done.

Four of the five paintings of mine that were exhibited at Dismaland.

It’s probably pining for the fjords.

As a little thank you to everyone who's backed www.kickstarter.com/projects/dav... so far here's a few of the posters that didn't make the final cut for the calendar starting with Groundhog Day (1957) descriptions in alt text 1/4

I think I have received every marmite branded thing sold by M&S.

Please follow my Hourly Simpsons account, because I just discovered that there is something similar for King Of The Hill with 10,000 followers but mine has subtitles so is slightly better!

For the evening crowd.

Thought I'd knock something up for the @b3ta.com image compo this week - MAGA TV b3ta.com/challenge/ma...

Is it pay day for you? Have you been waiting til pay day to back this? If so, this was a helpful reminder. If not, what colour socks are you wearing today? or something like that… www.kickstarter.com/projects/dav...

Nobody: Middle aged white men from the Home Counties who’ve been into central London once in the last decade:

Here we go then…

A very big Onion announcement: The Onion has spent the last two months working on a masterpiece. It's a documentary titled Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile. It's so good, in fact, we were set to release it in theatres nationwide on October 2nd. Then two weeks ago, Charlie Kirk was shot.

Maltesers are the absolute best confectionary. Fight me.

They arrived and they look good! DM me if you'd like one, they're A4 and I'm selling the first batch for just £10 each (plus postage but if you're in Cardiff West I can probably do that for free let's be honest)!

This request came in and I thought, I'd give it a go. Not a tour, just book a couple of nights in a tiny club and have a go at it. I think getting the audience to gently row about trivial opinions could be fun. Anyway - grab a ticket. Tufnell Park. www.designmynight.com/london/bars/...

Farage wanting to kick people out of the country because they migrated here made me angry and made me think about which best of British people and things wouldn't have happened were it not for the brilliance of immigration to the UK.

Reposting this for the evening crowd.

When was the last time they didn't have a gross man presenting MasterChef 🙄

Nearly got raptured, lads.

Time’s running out on this.

If any of you have a nice big house with land, a garage, maybe a workshop, near a good school, are super-christian and expecting to get raptured tomorrow, give me a shout.

You couldn't make farther Ted these days, because he's already the furthest he can be.

‘Drift’ Oil and acrylic on canvas 1.1Mx1.1M

Over on the Other Place I would occasionally put this thread together, most recently during lockdown, four years ago in fact, and I realised I'd not done it here. So, bear with, and feel free to mute as this is an epic (genuinely, I’m not sure we won’t reach hitherto non-invoked thread limits tbh).

It’s apparently Batman day today, so here’s a Batman I drew ages ago.

Back from ice-skating with the sprog. We made it nearly the whole session, then as we were mere yards from coming off the ice, she stumbled and pulled me down, and I cracked my head quite hard. If you don’t hear from me again, I have probably died.

How about instead of weirdly putting dead people in the ground in an overly expensive box we put them in the sea in cages of some kind of simulated coral, so you can feed the fishes? #saturdaymorningthoughts

Amazing skelly lad from @jaunty.art 💘

Coming soon from @christhebarker.bsky.social and me...

Ok, I'm game. Hit me up, @sentimentbot.bsky.social

thinking once again about one of the all-time great newspaper mixups, when Dennis the Menace and The Far Side got their captions swapped

My little brother just FaceTimed me with a big grin on his face, giggling like an idiot, informing me that he’s passed his test and bought a 3.0 BMW Z4. He’s having the time of his life. Oh, what’s new with me? I bought some varifocals.

I’m not sure how I feel about Kimmel’s replacement, tbh.

And here's my assistant, Little Parker Booowles!

‘See that decrepit, crumbling old wreck over there? …. That’s you that is.’

It's incredible how close the Red Arrows fly together, must take nerves of steel

"And this is a gift from my brother, he says he took it at one of your parties"

Watching Blackberry and I swear I know this guy, but I don't recognise him at all. I finally had to admit defeat and look up IMDB, it's bloody Glenn Howerton!

Good morning, country where it's legal to project Gail Porter onto the side of a palace, but illegal to project Donald Trump onto the side of a palace. Also, why do we have palaces?

🚨 THIS IS NOT A DRILL 🚨 We’ve just seen this, by creator “Menapian” - a 4,998-piece set of the Great Exhibition (1851) Crystal Palace - complete with a bonus Megalosaurus and Ichthyosaur… beta.ideas.lego.com/product-idea...

Soup

I’m back in the barbers (Christ, has it been nearly four months?) Fingers crossed for conversation that isn’t as controversial or, ideally, none at all.