3yo: [kissing my arm] Me: awww :) love you bud 3yo, to 2yo: ok let’s pretend we’re mosquitos on mama’s arm,

a fascist president, a corrupt president, a vindictive president, a senile president we might endure — but a pelagian president?

This video of Chicagoans intervening to save a man from being abducted off the streets by ICE is making the rounds on Instagram. Community action works. Source: www.instagram.com/reel/DPZL2AL...

[mario voice] lex-a-pro

Baby chuckles in his sleep, no doubt dreaming of me being hilarious

Someone found us a secondhand baby doll crib that’s basically a tiny pack n play. My 3yo son uses it as a dumpster for his pretend construction site lol

Full guttural screamed at a car in a parking lot for getting too close to my kid for my liking. Not angry just “STOP” Didn’t know I had it in me, also made my kids cry in the process. My bad (everyone is fine)

Me: buddy do you want the same truck sneakers just the next size up? 3yo: no, I want different trucks, building a hotel, ok? Me: um,

DoorDash but for someone coming over to take off your makeup for you when you’re so sleepy

Is that good

Me: you know something? I love you ☺️ 3yo: I……….. did know that. I knew it.

Love being able to mention offhand the idea of having a mini greenhouse and maybe getting a lemon tree and my husband is immediately excited about it

This is now just part of the family lexicon

I did in fact say out loud one too many times “it’s so nice for me that my kids love beans” and now it’s over. We had a really good, multi year run

Baby breath sometimes smells really sweet and sometimes like clean laundry

unmasked scooby-doo villain: AND I'VE WOULD'VE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT TOO!! IF IT WEREN'T FOR MY OWN LACK OF FORESIGHT AND PLANNING FOR VARIOUS CONTINGENCIES! fred: wow unmasked scooby-doo villain: what? fred: nothing, we've just never had someone take accountability like that

Just a little something to take the edge off

All I saw was cheesecake boat and ocean for at least 5 minutes

affirmation: “I am hotter than I appear in my passport photo”

BUCEPHALUS, MO - a full-size Pulp Magazine written and drawn by me! Only 30 copies of the first print run are left unclaimed! $25 (includes shipping!) at @BucephalusMo on Venmo and @bucephalusmissouri on Paypal Include your shipping address in your payment or dm if you want

2yo now sings “LMNOP” correctly in the alphabet. It’s a tough loss. “Enebo P” was beloved

That’s why I don’t do a good job cleaning. What’s the point

VICE is the right word ! Folks,

5 very eventful years 💕 the kids tell me I look great, tell me to rest, and love getting me treats because he does.

The 2yo likes to touch her head to the baby’s and says she’s “doing forehead time”

The new guy might be my snuggliest baby yet

3yo has school orientation and 2yo doesn’t until next week so she’s feeling left out. I took her on a little girl date to our favorite coffee shop She marched up to the counter and said “do you guys have chocolate here?”

3yo: people weren’t there when dinosaurs were there because they would be scared Kevin: I dunno, people can handle pretty much any animal 3yo: well, not me

3yo wants to play n64 Mario together, insists I just explain everything he has to do while he holds the controller. We’ll see how much patience I end up having for this, but so far he notes that real people can talk and walk at the same time but not in this game

I’m a little out of it today. Apologized to the 3yo for not paying good attention to his story. He kindly reassured me “being a big sibling is tough sometimes”

The Catholic Church in Rome has been insisting on calling attention to the suffering in Gaza, even if you don't hear much about it stateside. Seven hours of names: 16 Israeli children and 12,211 Palestinian children.

3yo will randomly come up with food ideas that actually go really hard Lemonade ice cream… wine cake…. Today was ranch mac n cheese Get this boy a restaurant or better yet a food truck (so he can still work on vehicles)

3yo, pretending to put makeup on me: “there. Now your eyes smell good.” Thank goodness tbh

Things I love that newborns do: -quick double inhale sniff -fist shake stretching overhead -the :o face

Lately have been mixing strawberry lemonade from Costco with seltzer. A nice little treat for me

Loving 3yo compliments. “Mama, you’re comfy. You’re like a warm warm blanket”

I finally deleted my burner on the other website . Goot bye

Folks, I’m back: I’m reviving my sourdough starter

The B-51’s

Would really love to ask some of these prominent MAGA Catholics what it is they find compelling about the gospel and person of Jesus Christ

My son always mimes whenever he talks about stuff falling over, by dramatically flopping over/throwing himself on the ground. Really terrific physical comedy honestly, I lose it every time

One delightful summer thing my kids do is still share licks of their popsicles with each other even when they are given the exact same flavor. It’s all in the spirit of summer and brotherhood and friendship

“It’s so important for kids to play make believe” ok my kids are pretending they have a pest business. They catch mice, cows, and spiders. What do they do when they catch them? “We put them all in a big tank and put it in the garbage or something”

Today at dinner 3.5yo asked me for more of “the green stuff with croutons” Took me a second to realize he meant… lettuce

3.5yo seems to think someday he’ll be big and Kevin and I will be kids again He is talking about where we’ll all sit in the van and where he’s gonna take us where that happens 😭 How he’ll take me to the children’s museum when I’m little again

Whenever some car is bumping really loud music my daughter immediately starts dancing along. It’s a nice life

I love these crazy bastards

Gonna have a baby next month

Hello

I love finding out the stuff Johnny has been internalizing. Baby was fussing so he just started singing “you are my sunshine” for the first time I’ve ever heard him