I really think you should google the origin of a phrase before you put it on your kitchen wall in neon cursive.

I have decided that the three best TV presenters in the UK are: Hazel Irvine Claudia Winkleman Andi Oliver

This is why it's important authors read a lot, Murakami has no idea this has been done already

Do you ever forget that a particular food exists for weeks or months, then get reminded of it and immediately NEED IT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD? Well, today for me that food is yum yums.

i’ve worked in tech more than 20 years. it has never been more ridiculous.

Ballroom? Like, when you switch from briefs to boxers?

A question for half the gays on this app.

Air to Ground Message: HI. I KNOW CLEANERS WILL DO THE A/C TONIGHT BUT SOMEONE HAS DONE A POO ON THE FLOOR IN THE FORWARD TOILET. MAYBE THE A/C COULD BE LOOKED AFTER ASAP. RGDS Area: Zurich, Switzerland Type: Airbus A320 A: #a211f8fb712 F: #ff96298d564

This week's home-baked bread is a bit 👀.

Today will forever be remembered for this world record broken in London

I'm feeling SO low energy today, it's a miracle I'm even dressed. I'm seeing several hours lying in front of the snooker in my future.

So we had rearranged our plans to go to Bath to yesterday. And then forgot and didn't go 🤦. That was a truly cursed idea.

The whole “noun & noun” naming structure for businesses must be stopped. I cannot stand it! Happy Saturday.

Wasn't this a plot line on Better Call Saul?

Man get out.

Went to M&S and they didn't have anything good reduced. Why must bad things happen to good people?

Wonderful scene. Not a smartphone in sight. Just a matador lad with a horn right up his hoop, living in the moment.

When there's an email in your inbox that you're avoiding.

I saw a physiotherapist on Tuesday about my ankle. She said there's no reason for me not to be running 😭. So here I go again, for the first time in nearly two months...

Leeds trams update

After trying to move the carpet out of our bedroom, I think it's safe to say that carpet fitter can be crossed off my potential careers list.

I used to think SLS disagreed with my skin and have been buying relatively pricey SLS-free hand wash. Then I found a cheap one but my hands look like this after 3 days using it. Maybe I'm just allergic to cheap?

I have a physio appointment for my ankle tomorrow and the funny thing is, it's at most my third worst ache and/or pain currently.

So what you're saying is... I get paid a reasonable amount more than when I started working so I should be buying more expensive whisky now than I was then?

Thought I'd give this "Slayyyyyyter" (I don't know how many y's it's supposed to have) a go seeing as she seems to have cropped up out of nowhere. I don't get it.

New invention idea: Socks attached to each other by a long piece of string like children's mittens, so pairing them is less of a faff on laundry day. I can think of no flaws with this.

It turns out the year I turned 18 was a real flop for the movie industry.

The Sunday scaries kicked in before I'd even opened my eyes this morning. So that's fun.

It's lunch in the garden weather. Need sunglasses though.

Top tier thread.

Bought theatre tokens as a birthday present last week: no check out as guest option. In what way does having an account for a company that sells one product, that I'm unlikely to buy more than once a year, help me?

This might be too sweet even for me. And I've been known to snack on sugar lumps.

These are pretty amazing, but two were enough to have me feeling sick.

I feel like stirring things up a bit: Pedro Pascal doesn't do much for me.

A group of musical killer whales is called an orcastra

My review of this wine by the way. I have such a way with words.

I just put the forbidden object in the forbidden orifice and it felt so good... 🥴 (Cotton bud in my ear.)

People of Bluesky, we're trying to choose a colour for our bedroom walls. What do you think? I'm not convinced by any of these so feel free to suggest variations. Photos of our furniture and bed to help with coordination.

@realfollowers.bsky.social how about me?

Aren't chatbots great?

Is there a worse RuPaul song than Peanut Butter? Yes, I'm catching up on the lalaparuza.

I'm cooking bolognese tonight, so I sadly have no choice but to open a bottle of red...

I've been playing this cryptic-crossword-adjacent puzzle for the past week or so. Frustrating initial learning curve but quite fun once you get it. www.parseword.com Parseword #74 ⏱️ 2m1s 💎 Perfect 🥚 Learn Mode

Spent some of my time lying in bed awake ca. 2 am pondering all those privatised directory enquiry services. Everyone remembers the 118 118 runners, but what about Maureen 118 212? Do any of them even still exist?

Went to watch Project Hail Mary. Even better than I expected (once the little shits got bored and left half an hour in). It really hit me in the feels (yes I have them!).

Does anyone actually play RuPaul's Drag Race Match Queen?

Recreate your own Artemis splashdown with three Tunnocks teacakes and a Nespresso pod

I’ve seen stickman memes made with MS Paint that have resonated with my soul in ways that still reverberate today. Every AI meme I’ve ever seen, no matter how detailed & glossy, has killed me a tiny bit.

Might make a Great British Menu drinking game: drink every time someone says fucking "cuisson". It might be the only way it doesn't cause me to want to launch the TV out the window.