Sorry if you're the person currently being discussed by the table next to me in the café but you're getting an ABSOLUTE COATING

Why does every documentary now have to start with someone setting up a chair/lighting?

Because he’s a cunt. Next question?

Ausgezeichnet! #austria #eurovision

'Choke Me is about something to do with mental health and that and definitely not... you know...' 👀 #Romania

Don't cross the streams!!! #eurovision

Does he have 'Access' tattooed on his back? Very helpful #norway #eurovision

Do they have radiators in San Marino? #eurovision

Lovely, but then I always have several disco balls in my front room #eurovision

Yes, Moldova! #eurovision

Always warrants a repost when it appears in the timeline 👑

I don't care, I very much enjoy #BULGARIA #eurovision

I enjoyed the medieval, yet disco vibe of that jacket #eurovision

I mean, objectively the Israel song is cack. Flicking around whilst it's on, I've just found the signing version on the red button #eurovision

Age yourself with a T Shirt

— Four straight seasons in European competitions — Semi-final of the Conference League — Quarter-final of the Champions League — Final of the Europa League It all started with this photo 😍 What a wild time. I love this team. #AVFC

Paging @tftimemachine.bsky.social

"We had a couple of dreadful winters in the 60s"

When bsky doesn't like my posts

"I'm the king of priests, there is none higher. Sucker Cardinals call me Sire"

Proust Baking Company Recalls Thousands of Madeleines

Astounding outburst on GB News. No, wait, it's actually Sky News.

Fuck it, I'm getting chips.

Slightly increase a band Cypress Mount

I pulled a face mask out tonight and it was a Frankenstein one, but I'm convinced it made me look like someone. Not sure exactly who though

The ALT text is a thing of beauty

Sen. Mark Kelly: "If you say something that the president or this administration does not like, they're going to come after you. The president is trying to silence us, and I can't think of anything that's more un-American."

Reform plans threaten maternity leave and job security for half a million pregnant women, analysis shows

Just how many re-watches of the Super Bowl Half-time show is too many?

Zack Polanski has teeth Americans would have a field day over if he got to be PM. He looks like his dentist uses a rusty gardening fork. His mouth looks like Highgate Cemetery. If you caricature him and the feature you think stands out is his NOSE...we all know what happened there.

It's probably been done a billion times but...

Is this something?

TMI, but I think a better indicator is me having a flat White in town and then racing home before my stomach starts Bluetooth connecting to my loo. Painting pictures with words...

Nice to see Leon Paul branch out into couture

Very much so....and Bad Bunny is clearly channelling Master levels of disguise

Fixed it for them

Hard to believe that it’s 14 years since we lost one of the coolest men to ever live

In memory of Adam Nathaniel Yauch, aka MCA 🖤 The American rapper, singer, songwriter, musician, and founding member of the hardcore punk/hip-hop group Beastie Boys passed away on May 4, 2012, in New York City. #punk #punkrock #hardcorepunk #MCA #beastieboys #punkrockhistory #otd

Unbreak my Horse #replaceheartwithhorse

I think I've accidentally joined a 'remembering stuff' group on Facebook. All I wanted to do was comment on a picture of a rough nightclub from Oxford's past

I'm off to finish me disco biscuits - see you lot next week! #totp

This sounds like it's on a movie soundtrack #totp

Weirdly, I had the Bernard Sumner hairdo in 1991. What a catch. #totp

YES! What a bloody start to this episode 🌼 #totp

I recently saw EMF live and they were flipping brilliant #totp

Yay!!!!!! The 'mef! #totp