Tomorrow buy one gift you think Jesus would like, like a Switch 2, and put it near your bed. If he doesn't take it while you sleep, he wants you to have it. ❤️

future dem president: "Actually, it would be a grave violation of decorum to do that. The Donald J. Trump Whitehouse, Presented By President Donald J. Trump stays."

hahaha, this rules. new test for any dem candidate: are they vindictive enough to keep the pictures up but recaption them where needed?

Really inspiring post. It's inspiring me to say "never votin' for Newsom," for example

the trump administration is experiencing total Stancilfication

can they just refer the driver directly to the DC attorney general, or...?

every person getting offended by the idea of greater safety measures for cars is exactly three seconds away from telling you it's actually okay to kill people

Urbanists will talk about how cars are a machine that makes you selfish and crazy, and I know it’s easy to roll your eyes at that but if you give drivers the ability to comment they will say “yes I am selfish and crazy”

strangers are fighting to the death in my menchies over this pretty innocuous take and slinging devastating counterarguments like “what if I had to run away from a murderer” and “I like speeding”

where that "the core of progressivism is doing nothing" tweet when you need it?

word on the street is that johnny's is converting from a bar to a data center that could render a theoretically infinite number of hot dogs in Thomas-Davis's mouth

someone tell the California ACLU who is disproportionately more likely to be killed in traffic accidents including those involving people under the influence

Very important for people to ask Janeese and other mayoral hopefuls how they'll weigh the value of a parking space versus the value of a human life. Even better if they frame the question as a contrast with Bowser's absolute failure on Vision Zero.

Nobody. I do not think you can eat chair

please, hillary, go back to the woods

it rules that schumer can't even pretend like the dems are an opposition party

my defense secretary told me big nude guys keep shooting his troops so I asked how many troops he has and he said he just deploys more afterwards so I said it sounds like he's just feeding troops to nude gunmen and then he started crying

go ahead and destroy the Bozzutos of the world, but note that Robinson says we need radically democratic preservationism, not radically democratic home-building. even in his dreams he's stopping homes from getting built, not building a democratic society

when we say we want more streets to be pedestrianized, this is what we mean

Laughing at Donald Trump saying he'd definitely feel comfortable living in Zohran Mamdani's New York on the same day that half the consultant brain-poisoned Democratic party voted to condemn socialism

hakeem is the perfect democrat. if the shutdown was on he would support it, and now that the shutdown is over he supports that. he believes in nothing but the status quo

Vote blue? No, matter who!

seventh way Mamdani can improve NYC: seize the NYT and assign every editorial board member to reform through labor

Friends of #bikeDC, anyone else spot Nick Delladonne in Petworth this morning, leading a very confused protest against the 5th street bike lane?

F. Scott Fitzgerald: In my book I invented Gatsby lifestyle as a cautionary tale The president: At long last, we have created the Gatsby lifestyle from the classic novel The Great Gatsby

the 2009 dem supermajority trifecta proved that you can give dems total power in DC and they still won't make even "incremental" progress on their issues. who believes this stuff?

that said... a whole lot of drivers ARE murderous assholes, either through aggressiveness or negligence or both, and the proportion of drivers who are like this is uncomfortably high

Either this ends with some sort of truth and reconciliation process where a very large number of people go to prison for a very long time or we will take a short pause and then start doing it again, but worse.

random suburbanites in their fucking PJs may not like seeing their neighbors get abducted, whereas the vast majority of america's political, social, and civil elites either don't care or actively enjoy it

podjons drawing a firm and consistent line: they're okay with genocide, whether it's gaza or the holocaust. honestly it would be hypocritical for them to be bothered by the totenkopf thing

The generals said "sir are you sure you want to fly the diarrhea bomber over the AI city with the nonsense billboards" and I said [zesty] we've got to shit the hell out of 'em. And no one has more loose stool than me. And actually that was very smart. Making myself the diarrhea president was smart.

CHOTINER: So you're attending a No Kings protest today. ME: That's right. CHOTINER: But according to Steam, you've played over 450 hours of Crusader Kings 3. ME: Okay, well- Now hold on. That's sort of unfair. CHOTINER: Oh? ME: Sometimes I play as a duke or a count. CHOTINER: I see.

it’s going to be a fun presidential primary when people look back at the response to sending troops and ICE to terrorize cities. in particular, who said jack shit about political violence against their own base

stunning contrast between random people on the street and tiny migrant justice groups and the DSA actually standing up to these thugs while every democrat at every level of govt either stays silent or actively collaborates with them

I’ll say this for Schumer and Jeffries, they disappoint you in all the ways you’d expect but sometimes they’ll do it in ways that seem to defy the limits of your imagination.

it's already happening! in dc!! where you live!!! and your precious best friends from across the aisle are all hooting and oinking in approval

Nearly each day, I encounter armed National Guard troops. Masked, weapons-wielding thugs intimidate schoolchildren in my neighborhood. My home is persistently buzzed by low-flying, circling copters. And the best the Democratic House leader can come up with about it is a passing “unlawful” comment.

A DRIVER, READING THIS STORY ON HIS PHONE WHILE HE BLOWS THROUGH A STOP SIGN AT 15 MPH OVER THE SPEED LIMIT: "Hell yeah, cyclists and pedestrians really have to be more careful."

well, it's great that harris changed course on Gaza once she was the candidate and had her hands on the wheel. ... she, uh, she changed course on this once she was the candidate and had her hands on the wheel, right? right???

does this dumbass think there was 100% turnout and the election was a zero-sum game, or does he know that a lot of people were too repulsed by the options to show up at all

yeah. if they stayed on twitter they could reap all the benefits of using that platform, like getting to participate in an enormous nazi circlejerk and, uh...

the dems are less of an opposition party and more of a junior partner in coalition with the republicans. their only beliefs are "whatever the republicans believe, but maybe a little bit less"

congrats to joe brandon and all the purported defenders of democracy who normalized cracking heads on student protestors in order to cover for israeli genocide. you really greased the skids for ol donnie trump to formally submarine the first amendment

ezra klein and gavin newsom nodding so hard they strain their necks

damn. george will from the top rope.

jesus fucking christ

For decades everyone on the list argued they only knew Epstein in a professional capacity while all the notes to him are "I sure love being pedophiles together with you, my friend Jeffrey Epstein"