Nothing better than a puppy pile naptime 🐶😴

Tldr; nothing scares the literal shit out of a politician more than seeing theyre not the only name on the ballot this time. Even if you don't win, you do live in their head the rest of their term and you can do anything you want in there.

We’re all going to fucking die aren’t we

Sometimes gay sex is letting a man worship your feet and suck on your balls while he jerks off

“Sparks” by Hilary Duff is so criminally underrated tbh, talk about a bop

They should invent an airport specifically for people who have existed in public spaces before

I understand if the boarding agent has to say “please stop behind the ‘wait here’ sign” ONCE, but why did she have to say it THREE times? The third time she demonstrated where the sign is like a magician’s assistant. God the general public irritates tf out of me

Under-appreciated thing i probably over-appreciate: When a band has no consistent sound across albums, but each album has a distinct, immediately identifiable sound. That’s why I like Linkin Park and Sick Puppies so much — they experiment with their albums rather than just repeating the same thing

Trump wishes he could pack his government with even more idiots and buffoons, but unfortunately for him half of the world’s incompetent nincompoops are already happily employed designing airline apps

Yep, it’s an “eat tuna straight for the package” kinda day. I’m done with today, it needs to be tomorrow already

Question: is the “Accidentally read” —> “mark unread” —> “accidentally read” cycle an adhd thing or do we all just do that ad infinitum?

Glad I was less interested in the Greymon puffer — I went to check out with it at 12:04 and got a notification that it had already sold out 😅 But i got my Garurumon sweats and that’s what matters 😊

🥰🥵🥰🥵🥰🥵

Seeing Drew Lynch live with the #pack for my bday 🥰 (ft @nachochip.bsky.social)

Current vibe:

Bouncy

You’ve heard of “Netflix-n-Chill”, how about we Read-n-Breed? Happy #HumpDay

Just shoot it through my five-hole sir

As I get ready to turn 33, let’s take a gander at some of my favorite looks from the past year 😌

Pup night tonight? My birthday tomorrow? The confluence of the two at midnight tonight? Oh baby imma be slanging dick n ass like never before 😌

The way I will be FIRST in line for this 😍😍😍

Are you sure about that, Angle? I am acutely aware of the recent increase in scam texts on telegram, so don’t think me so obtuse to not realize that something isn’t right here.

Oops, accidentally took a flying leap into the “Under Pressure” —> watching that one scene from The Magicians —> need to rewatch the entire show pipeline 🫠

Dear boys that will deepthroat it while it’s actively spitting: I see you, i love you, i am you 😘😘

Yeah that tracks 🐶 Yiffpersonality.com

I wanna see more than your dick and hole. I wanna see what makes the pup under the hood tick. What are your interests, thoughts, and hobbies? Taking loads every 20 minutes and liveskeeting it day in and day out with no other aspect of your personality actually gets super boring after a while.

Friend’s on a skiing trip giving me fomo. I need to go skiing/snowboarding soon. 😩

My loyal concubines 💚

Update:

My sleep-deprived work day has reached the “embarrassingly overenthusiastic white boy dance party to the most undanceable songs ever concocted” stage. Wicked fucking crash in T-minus 30 mins. It was nice knowing you all

The absolute chokehold Flobots’ “Handlebars” has had on my internal ADHD radio since I was a teenager 💀

I dont understand bsky mods. How was my shitty mirror selfie w tip the other day an “artistic nude”, but a well-composed photo of me reading nude — in which the book is the main focus — is an “explicit sexual image”? 🙄 I love bsky, but sometimes the inconsistency makes me want to rage

An early-morning #scs #softcocksaturday for you

An early-morning #scs #softcocksaturday for you

Okay seriously, why does my body INSIST on waking me up at 4am with raging boners? This is the 4th night in a row, this cannot just be coincidence 😵‍💫 Somebody needs to come stay the night so I have somewhere to stick it next time

Beloved demon incarnate 💚

Shower selfie! #fcf oomfie saw it first ☺️

Shower selfie! #fcf oomfie saw it first ☺️

Anyway who’s looking to use me as evidence that AI don’t know shit 🥺👉👈

I guess i’m just built different 💅

poetry

Need me a man that treats me as well as Spotify does 😌

My Spotify shuffle just served me up “Good Boy” by DPD, followed by “Good Boy” by Zee Machine 👀 perhaps our AI overlords will be benevolent after all

Vibe of the Day: “Good Fucking Music” by Solence 🤘🙂‍↕️

@andyboi.bsky.social gave me a set of Baby’s First Cock Rings™️, the first of which was essentially just a thin elastic band. Put a hair tie on my horse cock, call that a pony tail 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

I'm still demisexual btw

Reasons to drink coffee before work: ✅ Mmm, yum, tasty ✅ Focus for a couple hours ✅ Paid to shit my brains out daily

I love when ppl make a point of claiming every game is just too easy for them, bc it fucking screams “I struggle to find the yellow painted ledges but cant let anybody know that.” People who are good at games are too busy enjoying the games to brag about how good they are to their followers.