What's a totally mundane thing you own that you have a weird attachment to? Mine are my headphones. Being a housespouse means being a self-starter and finding ways to find alone time entertaining so I usually crank the tunes until I'm done.

Someone should make an app or something that counts how many times I say "bark" on a daily basis. Anyone who spends any amount of time with me will tell you. It's just a good jack-of-all-trades kinda word, especially when I don't have much else to say. Bark.

Getting flipped off by a Tesla driver is one of my new favorite city driving activities.

Current status: Climbing the humana phone tree until I find someone who can do what I want them to do. I do have better things to do with my time but the Adderall did work today and I dunno when I'll summon this kind of audacity next.

Why are all the ATL gays on FB? What year is it that was like 7 social medias ago.

Pictured: me sleeping in an oxygen tent that gives me super sexual powers and definitely not just fallen out of the shower. 🎨 By @wolverines.bsky.social

"You write like a computer." Do you remember one of the first controversies about language training? Data scraping. I went to a hardcore private school. I learned to choose impactful words, pace my work, and use punctuation correctly. I dont write like a computer. Computers write like me.

So uh... how long do I gotta hold this pose til Im a good boy?? 👉👈

So uh... how long do I gotta hold this pose til Im a good boy?? 👉👈

"Omg you'd let your husband have sex with someone else? Pfft. Thats not how I! would do marriage." Ok. You do you, bub. I have the confidence to know that sure, other dudes might get my husband off. But at the end of the night, he comes home to our bed. Y'all get to borrow him. I get to keep him.

If you're shopping at a retailer where one of your friends works, you're kinda obligated to take lewds in the Fitting Room, aren't you?

If you're shopping at a retailer where one of your friends works, you're kinda obligated to take lewds in the Fitting Room, aren't you?

Remember, the Fourth is not a celebration of a government. It marks a time where we found unity in purpose and forged 13 discordant colonies into a nation founded on the revolutionary principles of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I think that's still worth somethin.

Everything's closed and it's too hot to go out today anyways so I thought of some games we could play without ever leaving the bedroom.

Happy new year or somethin.

Waitin for my ride by this girl whos already absolutely trippin ballzzzzzz and /way/ into the neighborhood fireworks you can see over the creek. Go have the best night, crazy lady. 🫡

Headin out into the night to see whats up. Lemme know if yer down for a scrap.

So imagine I came up with a sexy and totally not cringe caption relating to fireworks and typed it here. Happy Fat Cock Fourth! #fcf

When it's so hot setting your thermostat becomes aspirational.

So imagine I came up with a sexy and totally not cringe caption relating to fireworks and typed it here. Happy Fat Cock Fourth! #fcf

So it turns out in the week or so Ive been gone, the city of Atlanta has been relocated to Venus. Wtf who left the heat on?

Caffeinated, medicated, titillated, and loaded with household goodies means its time to skeedaddle back to the big city! Only a few more weeks now before our lives as a nice normal milfamily comes to an end and this becomes a one-way trip. Yer on aux cable and billboard duty, pup. Les do it.

Team USA advances 2-0 to R16! Play to win no matter how hard they make it for you. See ya in Seattle, boys! #WhyNotUS

Good to know they've attempted to modernise and improve the cup tournament in most other ways except the officiating.

You + your favorite pokemon. Weee, I can do it too! (Im an old hat alright? In my day we had 150 pokemon to pick from and there was a fire-breathing dragon. I dont need to explain myself.)

Of all the numbers for my phone to pocket dial it HAD to be 911? Good lord...

How we're feelin with the Big Fourth comin up.

Realised about halfway through this mid session I had today that this is very likely the last time I'll step foot in this gym. I'm not sentimental about much here, but this shitty building and I went through a lot together. I changed my life in here. Im happy now. Thanks, big guy. 🫡

Why is this GI Joe character so hot

Also Happy Bobby Bonilla Day! Every July 1st for the last 16 years, the NY Mets have paid Bobby Bonilla over $1m to not play baseball in a deal brokered by this guy you may have heard of named Bernie Madoff. They will continue to pay him to not play baseball every July 1st til 2035.

I think my second favorite part of the World Cup is proving these "indoor" stadiums can in fact support natural grass fields but NFL owners will continue to reject them because they require spending money on a proper playing surface instead of laying plastic down. #AviSkeetsAboutSportsSometimes

Twinks trying to turn "Twink" into a slur is such Twink behavior

How we're feelin with the Big Fourth comin up.

Gnight pups. Can't say it was one of my favorites but I spent all of it above ground so I could do worse. Love you.

A gizmo I can't be bothered to name. The less magical but still remarkable saddle bag that predated this one. A hand-me-down Deutschebahn train that was taken out of service because it ran on time too often. #WhatsInHotaysSaddlebagToday

Does anyone else remember Grandy's?

I finally learned a letter! 1/26th of the way to reading your diary!

The inevitable hitches when a personal crusade becomes a group project. If it's worth doing, it's worth fighting for. I don't have a point, really. Just gettin that outta my puppybrain so there's room for somethin else. Bark.

Reframing my inability to keep track of what day it is as an act of rebellion. You think I let CALENDARS tell me what to do, man?!

Intellectually, I know its more an old guideline than a rule. The statistics on it's accuracy are less important than the 100% success rate I've had not being killed by a tornado in 36 years despite my unexplainable insistence on living in their native habitat.

*incoherent precaffeine morning muscle barks*

Sunday is for Pride itself. After the banners come down and logos change back, the small towners still need to be seen, our siblings need that phone call, and our newcomers to feel welcome. June ends, but the work doesnt, and Pride is the promise we make to keep doing it. #LeaveTheDoorOpen

Tryin to get @pupdresden.fuckedup.farm to stop reading maps reviews of Waffle Houses. Waffle Houses cannot be reviewed. The concept is unquantifiable. You navigate on hopes and dreams, man.

*incoherent precaffeine morning muscle barks*

uk furs be like "that was a smashing yiff, absolutely mental"

Saturday is for the family we make along the way. Blood is accidental, loyalty is a choice forged by shared trial. This is for the ones who answer the phone at 2am, help you move, and sit with you when your dog passes. They know your soul better than your surname. That's family. #KeeoTheDoorOpen

Saturday is for the family we make along the way. Blood is accidental, loyalty is a choice forged by shared trial. This is for the ones who answer the phone at 2am, help you move, and sit with you when your dog passes. They know your soul better than your surname. That's family. #KeeoTheDoorOpen

If yer down with raw, go watch this movie. This is what happens when gay media is made by gay people, not straight folks spinning the adventures of their imaginary pet gay boys, and then doesn't apologise for it. Make something worth making and let everyone just learn to be an adult about it.

Friday is for the first-timers. Every one of us was once the one standing outside the bar collecting themselves and hoping for the best. Be kind to newcomers. You were once one of them, and they one day hope to feel what you feel. Sometimes they just need someone to say "hi". #KeepTheDoorOpen