For anyone that's arsed, tomorrow's first session is 04:00-06:00, lunch is 06:00-06:40, tea is 08:40-09:00, close of play is around 11:00. They're at the Gabba. It's a day night match. No England aren't prepared, yes they are going to get their arse handed to them, yes I am going to get up anyway.

Oh piss up a rope, cricket starts at 4am.

Just been on a really important work call and Busby's been snoring his head off 😭

Celaena Sardothien is one of my all time favourite book characters. I'm utterly obsessed with Throne of Glass. SJM is just incredible.

First time I've ever successfully completed this fuckeroo. Connections Puzzle #906 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟦🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟪🟪🟪🟪

I'm jumping on the Wordle hype Wordle 1,628 4/6 🟨⬜⬜🟨⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Half 6 and Busby's been walked, had his medicines, treats, advent calendar, fed & watered and now he's off to sleep in my bed until 11 when he'll wake up for his salmon stick then go back to sleep until 3 when he'll get up, wreak havoc for an hour before his walk and tea then back to sleep until 5am

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

I can hear a buzzy thing dying somewhere in my bedroom but I can't find it 😖

Someone on The Chase has just been asked what language is spoken in Guatemala alongside Spanish. Her answer? American. AMERICAN!!!

I tell ya, I'm fucking knackered me. At least this week's test is a day night match so I don't have to get up at 2am 😴

Piece Hall have got some fucking corkers lined up for next year. Jimmy Eat World, The Kooks, Gary Numan, Bowling for Soup, Cmat, what a time to be alive.

I've just heard the electrical buzz that my lamp makes and now I'm going to have to spend my life hunting for a lamp that doesn't make a noise.

I made the mistake of having my tea early and then napping and I'm now wide awake. 😒

Seeing him in this gigantic bed absolutely cracks me up. I really thought it'd be a good size for him when I saw it in Costco 🤣

I've never even been Amorim in and I almost never turn against the manager. Something about him just doesn't sit right with me, I'd sit on his face tho.

Lathums are right up there as one of my absolute favourites to watch.

At a gig at Liverpool Olympia tonight. Proper fuckin grotty in here 😂

That car finance carmoola advert is gonna make me put my foot through my TV.

All City aren't we? Fuck Leeds and Leeds and Leeds and Leeds and Leeds.

I take it all back, Corbyn and co can stay well away from Polanski and the Green Party. What an absolute shit show.

Huge respect to the papers for finding both an 88 year old worried about the tax bill on her 6 bedroom Kensington house and a 20 year old fretting about only being able to save £12k a year tax free. Top work all around. These are not easy case studies to find.

Just pulled a muscle in my shoulder and cricked my neck whilst sneezing. Might need to stop headbanging 🥴

I love getting in bed. I get excited about the mere thought of getting in bed. It's my favourite place on Earth.

Least I look fit tho x

Bilmuri make me want to stick a hot fucking knife in my ear.

Left or right? Right or left? I can't decideeeee.

I think I'm in a bit of an echo chamber on this app so my perception of the Green Party and their popularity might be skewed but this is excellent.

Please support Utd today, by lending some of your best players for the positions that are needed. It's for a good cause. Join the fight! #PremierLeague #Christmas

Can't wait for the Easter chocolate to come out in January, I'm absolutely gagging for a Mini Egg.

Slipknot Justin Bieber Slayer Kylie Minogue Iron Maiden

Is there an easy way to look for hotels along a motorway without me traipsing through Google maps?

Some fod that.

I chucked some lip oil on before leaving for the office this morning, not realising it tints your lips as it soaks in... When I say chucked, I mean I literally sloshed it on and it's stained half my upper lip, I look like a right twat 🤣

If you live in a £2m house, and a £2,500 tax causes you financial ruin, then you probably should have moved house long ago. www.thetimes.com/article/041f...

I keep getting like 25 year old lads on dating apps messaging me. I don't have my filters set that low but they still message me and I tell ya what, they're bold as brass kids these days. I'm 35 young one, no you cannot see me in just my tights for goodness sake.

Got Busby a new bed. Might kip in it myself.

You know who I'd tax? Very heavily. Anybody in the UK that drives a Ford Ranger. Nobody and I mean NOBODY on this fucking island needs a car that big.

Oh my God, I'm getting to see Joan Jett. OH MY GOD, she was my fashion idol when I was in my teens 🥹🥹🥹 I was desperate to be her.

The "left" attacking the left and digs in the house against a fella that's not even an MP. Labour are a fucking shambles. I've just signed up to the Green Party 💃

Why does this government find it so hard to tell Israel: you’re wrong, what you’re doing is illegal, and we are not going to let you get away with genocide.

Here’s my CHRISTMAS GIFT TIP. You can buy all Michael Palin’s books and DVDs and suchlike off his website, and he signs and dedicates the item for no extra charge. Don’t say I don’t give you nowt. (I did this for my dad, and he didn’t notice the autograph on his Ripping Yarns.) themichaelpalin.com

Not chubbed ✅

There are games that have been preparing people for this for years.

Over the last 15 months I've lost just short of 6 stone and you know what, I seriously did not realise just how much of an impact my weight had on every aspect of my physical and mental wellbeing. I used to be exhausted 24/7 and my brain was just constant fuzz, I don't actually know how I coped.

Scientists did not say that.

Lol, aye, good one.

@geekpie.bsky.social @tom7p.bsky.social the fact that these two posts are side by side in completely different areas of this Godforsaken island says a lot. Horrible fuckers.

I apologise for interrupting your doomscrolling, but this seems important.

There are literally apps/websites full of people who are happy to fill this role, heck, go employ the services of a sex worker if you're happy to "compensate", don't fucking use a music dating app to pester women to fulfil your fantasies.