This is not turning out to be the investment I had hoped for.

Have just learnt today that Ronaldo earns £480k a day! A bloody DAY! He’s also reportedly gone on strike at his club, citing a lack of investment The mind boggles

Watching MOTD and an ex neighbour of mine is commentating on the United match

Paisley, McMenemy, The English Football Association, Wardle

Not just being wise after the event, because I called him (Amorim) out before the season started, actually before the lady ended, but can you imagine how United would be doing now if they had actually appointed someone who knew what he was doing?

Enjoyed that

Every little helps!

A goal

Blinkin’ ‘eck!

Good to see that Sesco has been reading my posts before coming on

VAR can not only get in the bin, it can then be sealed in concrete and dumped in the North Sea Fuck it off

Give them the bloody goal ffs

Get the fuck on with it!

Sufferin’ Succotash! Can be doing without that!

Worried here - if United were to score another one or maybe 2 today, you’ll hear the likes of Rio Ferdinand demanding Sir Jim gives Carrick the job full time and I can’t be doing with his nonsense

That’s a goal!

Sat outside McDonalds in Macclesfield. Ralph is chomping on a pigs pizzle from the pet shop . Ive no idea whos eating the worst food ?

Not the first time the words “Casemiro, Full and Ham” have appeared together I’ll wager.

Yippee

- Is this some kind of bust? - Yes, it's very impressive, but we'd just like to ask a few questions #PoliceSquad

A kestrel at Filey Brigg today, living up to its aka of windhover.

Pope Julias II on seeing the completion of the Sistine Chapel

Watched a lady single-handedly row across the Atlantic recently and it’s inspired me to do the same! Have just priced it up and researched the training it involves! Fuck! That! <slouches in chair> <scratches bollocks> <itches arse> <sniffs fingers>

Describe your Bluesky account in a single image

Whatever next?

Saturday Morning Disco open.spotify.com/track/6Jub05...

On this day, 2 years ago. I sat in bed and said to myself, 'Why haven't you finally made that compilation of Jim McDonald from Coronation Street, absolutely battering people to Motörhead? So I did.' Enjoy! It will forever be my greatest contribution to society.

Here you go @beetlemum.bsky.social - schedule looks good tonight

Never mind jobs you had, tell me five classes you took at university of life 1 - Shoplifting 2 - Battling 3 - Scarpering 4 - Ducking 5 - Diving

5 jobs I’ve had Milk monitor Panel Beater (YTS dogsbody) Something else I’m having difficulty describing Precision tool engineer Head chef on a Rice Krispie producing plant

Sausage Angry Men

And here's a thread of clips to celebrate Roddy Frame's birthday, starting with Aztec Camera performing We Could Send Letters on Switch in 1983. Watch the full song plus Walk Out to Winter at youtu.be/S6yJ3gn2a5s

Your surgeon the morning after your haemorrhoid opp

Genius!

Every now and then I catch The Sopranos on Sky Atlantic and gang, you’re not going to like this, but it hasn’t really aged very well. It’s actually pretty mediocre in the acting, the editing and all round production Retrospective review - 6 pon 10

Monetising death! United have been doing it years, soon others will catch on. Only using City as an example so don’t get your nickers in a twist, but Kevin Kennedy will pass soon and the absolute shite their sponsors will produce doesn’t bear thinking about

Ok, Town! You can stop building the fuckers now! You’ve proved a point!

Why can’t people use phones correctly, especially on public transport!? Fuck off with that FaceTiming shit or talk quieter Rude twats!

What’s in your ears at this very moment? open.spotify.com/track/6rbPwq...

Oh god! Am in absolute bits here! 🤣🤣

Okay Bluesky, this is the greatest thing I have ever made and now it’s here for you. Mr Blobby in the Virtual Insanity video.

Meant to be in town today on a freemans with work and also getting paid for going Looking outside, I don’t think I’ll be bothering

So yeah, have just sorted tickets, flight and accommodation to go and see THE man Edwyn Collins in Madrid in May! What have you lot to look forward to in the month of May this year, folks?

@williamshuttoh.bsky.social @johnstafford72.bsky.social @theparisangel.bsky.social @suebench.bsky.social Here you go, Millsy The Man The Bookies Fear

If them Stannah stairlifts didn’t look so slow, I’d have one fitted. Reckon the limiter could be overridden, like on them electric scooters?

Mate of mine used to keep a woodsaw under his bed incase of intruders. The idea being, if he were to ever encounter an intruder he’d stripe them across their arses with it and they’d not be able to sit down for weeks after! Not sure if he ever used it, but it’s given me an idea…

Don’t care what anyone thinks of the band and care even less of what anyone thinks about the man himself. You gotta agree, Handsome Devil is an absolute banger! Currently chair dancing in Costa Coffee, Monton if anyone wants their teeth rattling open.spotify.com/track/0NFYBi...

Tell yer what, not sure what her name is, but this lady presenting MOTD, I reckon she’d be chuffed as little mint balls to learn I’d like to take her for a coffee!

Ffs! I think CH4 have killed that train spotter Francis Bourgeois #CH4 #MissionToSpace

lol @ Arteta’s grid then