First Balls Matter #Ashes

Waking up at 2am for a Down Under Ashes was standard behaviour back in the day 🏏 Now I can barely stay awake for Match of the Day 😴 I used to be someone 😭

Christmas Coke ad trialling a different recipe

‘Those aren’t pillows!’ 😭 Ronaldo and Dalot waking up on the final morning of International Break as the former prepares for Trump and the latter wonders how he's going to explain this to Amorim 💀 🇵🇹 #MUFC

Are Curaçao the first drink to qualify for the World Cup?

Scotland last made a World Cup in 1998... back when the internet was dial-up, mobile phones had antennas, and Turkey Teeth were still just a distant fever dream!

Congratulations Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Football, Bloody Hell 🔥🔥🔥

OH FUCK A DUCK DOES THAT DICKHEAD ROBERTSON KNOW HIS ARSE FROM IS ELBOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO PASS IS TO THE DANISH PLAYERS YOU FUCK FACED CUNT BISCUIT

Nice goal from McTominay… But all I really care about is Casemiro, Amad, Mazraoui, Lammens etc returning Fit and Ready for Man United 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽

It's all shits and giggles.... Until someone giggles and shits.

Ex Ireland strikers Kevin Doyle calling Dominik Szoboszlai a "Liverpool cunt" after Troy Parrott's winner 😆😆😆

Timeline is absolutely LITTERED with pecked by the Parrott references 🦜🤣 Congratulations Ireland 🇮🇪 🥳

The best footballer I ever saw in the flesh? Paul Scholes. #MUFC 🎶 Laurent Garnier - The man with the red face 🎵

World class footballers on Paul Scholes. Andres Iniesta really did name his son "Paolo" after him.

Funny story about when Lee Sharpe and some established #MUFC players first saw Paul Scholes

Bruno Fernandes vs Armenia — Hattrick ⚽️⚽️⚽️ — 1 assist for Neves — Veiga goal from Bruno rebound shot — Neves free kick goal from a foul on Bruno Portugal’s #1 player! If only #MUFC had another midfielder so Amorim could play him in an attacking role. One of the best '10s' in the world.

Paul Scholes in Sat Nav mode 🧭

Thankfully there was a Happy Ending 😅 Loved that Blue and White combination 😍

Things money can't buy: Love ❤️ Loyalty 🤝🏼 Happiness 😊 Paul Scholes 🎂

Steven Gerrard on Paul Scholes 2025: “He would be the best midfielder in the Premier League right now, hands down… Scholesy controlled games, switched play, popped it round you, scored goals and made the final pass… He’d have everyone terrorised today.”

New Grift Unlocked! Someone donate these cunts some brains and personality... #FlagShaggers

Nothing says "Patriotism" like arrogantly dismissing a pensioner and his wife after they politely ask these knuckledragging "Patriots" NOT to hang a flag directly outside their home #FlagShaggers 🚫

This fella thought he was still on Twitter and could say what he wants. Chat shit, get fly kicked.

Gary Neville was right wasn't he.

Throwback to Cristiano Ronaldo's first career red card nearly 20 years ago... A late tackle on United legend Andy Cole who was playing for City at the time!

My worst #MUFC kit? Grey 95/96. Ugly and the results went: Villa 3 United 1 Arsenal 1 United 0 Forest 1 United 1 Liverpool 2 United 0 Southampton 3 United 1 Sir Alex Ferguson binned it off for Blue and White during HALF TIME at The Dell with United 3 nil down. Was never worn in a match again!

Nothing to see here except some proud, jingoistic Brits in Benidorm, clogging up a Spanish street to rant in English about, you guessed it, foreigners. Truly a miracle they’re immune to irony.

Back then ‘Trans World Sport’ meant something totally different… then afterwards Channel 4 hit us with The Gaelic Games just to confuse everybody 😂 Great days 🥰

New Grift Unlocked! Someone donate these cunts some brains and personality... #FlagShaggers

Dear Carlo Ancelotti.... Please sub off Casemiro now please 🙏🏼

Nothing says "Patriotism" like arrogantly dismissing a pensioner and his wife after they politely ask these knuckledragging "Patriots" NOT to hang a flag directly outside their home #FlagShaggers 🚫

This fella thought he was still on Twitter and could say what he wants. Chat shit, get fly kicked.

Rooooooney , Roooooney Never in doubt!!! ❤️🤍🖤

I've spent far too long on twitter today arguing with a Reform MP and his knuckle dragger supporters. The wanker has silenced me now 🚫

Gary Neville was right wasn't he.

Nothing to see here except some proud, jingoistic Brits in Benidorm, clogging up a Spanish street to rant in English about, you guessed it, foreigners. Truly a miracle they’re immune to irony.

Throwback to Cristiano Ronaldo's first career red card nearly 20 years ago... A late tackle on United legend Andy Cole who was playing for City at the time!

Why is Bruno Fernandes not in the Portugal squad against Ireland tonight?

My worst #MUFC kit? Grey 95/96. Ugly and the results went: Villa 3 United 1 Arsenal 1 United 0 Forest 1 United 1 Liverpool 2 United 0 Southampton 3 United 1 Sir Alex Ferguson binned it off for Blue and White during HALF TIME at The Dell with United 3 nil down. Was never worn in a match again!

Guess which #MUFC player settled the match? Clue: 🥕

26 years ago today, England beat Scotland 2–0 at Hampden in a fiery one. Ten yellows, flying tackles, and Don Hutchison somehow got away with a two footer on Paul Scholes that would be worth two reds today! Proper old-school Battle of Britain vibes ⚽️🔥

11th May 1999. Leeds v Arsenal. Gameweek 37. Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink’s last goal for Leeds handed #MUFC the edge in the title race en route to the famous Treble. Very few happy fans inside Elland Road that night 😏 Maybe stick to doing your talking on the pitch, Jimmy 💪🏿😂😎

Good feet, first touch, athlete. But made a few errors at LWB in the first few games (cost a goal at Brum). Now settled down to the extent that Norwich subbed their right winger as he got no change from Amass. Bannan is now his football Dad; combining on the left and getting forward really well.

11th May 1999. Leeds v Arsenal. Gameweek 37. Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink’s last goal for Leeds handed #MUFC the edge in the title race en route to the famous Treble. Very few happy fans inside Elland Road that night 😏 Maybe stick to doing your talking on the pitch, Jimmy 💪🏿😂😎

Anybody see Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink’s comments on Manchester United not improving since last season? 🤨

#MUFC don't need to buy a LWB: We need to just bring Harry Amass back from Sheffield Wednesday. Far better footballer than both Dorgu and Dalot.

Waiting for @andymitten.bsky.social & the rest of the Talk of the Devils crew ⏳ 🇾🇪

Ruben Amorim and #MUFC have 14 losses in 2025. Arne "The Terminator" Slot's 'Champions' have 17! 17 Defeats. 17 Excuses.

Wayne and Kai Rooney watching another Virgil Van Dijk disasterclass for the Nth time this season! 🤣🤣