Absolutely incredible

Had my annual 'health MOT' today lads.

Also, classic Mercedes driver.

Also, classic Mercedes driver.

Saw this outside someone's flat today... nope, I got nothing.

Me, to Meta Ads Manager, trying a tiny local post boost.

I haven't seen this many people run out of a theatre that fast since the Melania documentary.

For a country obsessed with guns, you'd think people, in general, would be a better shot.

It seems their technology is more self-aware than they are...

Finally too warm for the volunteer sweatshirt, lads. #VisitColchester

Can't believe it's exactly 40 years ago that them slags fucked up a safety test that led to the greatest modern industrial disaster & collapse of the Soviet Union.

Paging @sellingamirror.bsky.social

Michael Stipe announces news of first solo album. Never change, Michael, please....

We need the old twitter account 'People selling mirrors'...

Second Coming in North Essex: circumstantial evidence #VisitColchester

Anyway, the Country Park is back doing its spring thing again. Suddenly it feels lije winter stopped and I didn't notice.

I am buying my son a sword.

If you see this, quote with a pic of you in glasses.

People tried to scam insurance by dressing up as a bear and wrecking luxury cars. "Investigators then took the video to biologists with the California Department of Fish and Wildlife to also look at the video. The biologists said, 'it was clearly a human in a bear suit.'" abc7.com/post/3-south...

Just re-muted someone I unmuted because I couldn't remember why I muted them. Then realised it was because they show up in my main TL all the fricken time, despite the fact I don't follow them.

If man is five, Then the devil is six, And if the devil is six, then God is seven This monkey's gone to heaven.

Me, when I'm trying to resolve an argument at the office...

Two days running I've been to Gail's so I must definitely be getting used to working in London again.

Quite a flex to turn up at the presidential palace, get him to confirm you as prime minister, call him unfit to serve with no moral authority, tell him to resign, and then pose for a picture

I see Lana Del Rey is doing her usual trick of releasing a single to get us all excited about a new album, which will then be delayed by another year.

No wonder Pete Hegseth went in...

Rewatching the BBC version of War and Peace, reflecting how ridiculous Tarantino's remarks about Paul Dano were. He is the perfect Count Bezhukov.

🎶 You're once, twice, three times a gravy 🎵

I grabbed a mug quickly from the office cupboard and took it into an online meeting. Just before I took a sip, I looked at the side... 😳

Fucksake 🙄

So much winning... 🇭🇺 #ETTD

due to Dead

Watched 'Sinners' and my expert and highly original take is that it's excellent and worthy of all the awards it has won. Glad to finally have given those guys the validation they've been waiting for.

Takeaway tea tonight, lads.

Calm down, Cadbury's.

Folk Bitch Trio, who I would be partial to seeing live, have 2 dates in the UK this year: a gig in Birmingham and one in... Salisbury.

Full cafetiere consumed before 9am, in case you're wondering how today is going.

Happy 50th anniversary to “All the President’s Men” — a film that owes its existence to Redford, who bought the film rights, developed the script and cajoled a reluctant Woodward & Bernstein. I thought it was “a great character study,” he said later. But, for months, “they didn’t return my calls.”

I would simply not crash my plane in Iran.

Not sure about this new Enoch Powell biopic.

In my 54 years on the planet, I have never seen The Sound Of Music & my daughter is about to correct this with her choice of TV viewing tonight.

‘Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fuckin' Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in Hell’

Eventually your kids get big enough to buy YOU Easter eggs. Admittedly, it's a long game, but...

Good morning to you too.

Golf. He's gone to play fucking golf, of course.

Earlier today I witnessed Costa celebrating the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ through bacon in a hot cross bun with cheese & chilli jam.